Please rate my gre essay..

[swapneel]

In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County last year lowered its speed limit from 55 to 45 miles per hour on all county highways. But this effort has failed: the number of accidents has not decreased, and, based on reports by the highway patrol, many drivers are exceeding the speed limit. Prunty County should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago: increasing lane widths, resurfacing rough highways, and improving visibility at dangerous intersections. Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago.

Response:

       Author stated that in  Prunty Country number of accidents has not decreased thought speed limit lowered.so,author concluded that they have to take steps like another country Butler country but author haven’t provided the state and statistical data of Butler country.

      Author assumed that after decreasing the speed limit from 55 to 45 accident decrease but that is base less it is not necessary that after decreasing speed accident also decrease.they have also take another steps like awareness of trafic.They have to place big hordings in country to convey the message to the people that speed limit is now decrease or ‘save your life,life is precious.’

     Author stated that the many drivers are exeeding the speed limit.That would be the case that people are coming from another country ex. Butler country(butler country have speed limit 55mph.)so that they don’t know the speed limit.That would be case that accidents are occured because they drunken and accident occured.

    After that Author also failed to provide information of the two country.Whether two country geographic condition is same or not.May be Prunty country’s geographic area have hills and roads are circuitous.Also Butler country population is less so no scope for accidents.It also be the case that butler country people were not using more tranformation.They were aware of the highway safety and accidents were less than before five years ago.

   Again author fails in prediction he provided the big life span of 5 years.May be accidents were same in previous year and decrease in last year because of awareness.Author haven’t provided the statistics of the Butler country that how much accidents before 5 years and today.Author take 5 years of span for checking but contradictory in starting he takes only 1 year.

 In sum up,Author argued to do same as another country but there are some loopholes and fails to give some answers.Accidents are not completely related to the speed limit,condition of roads but also related to some other factors which not sufficiently provided and that is weaken the argument.

   

 

[JohnMiltonsStapler]

Okay, I am going to use the exact same criteria that ETS lays out. None of this is personal, all of it is meant to help you. 

 

One of the first things that your scorer (the human and the computer) will pick up on is word usage syntax, grammar, and punctuation. 

 

So the first area of assessment: your control of standard written English.

 

Your repetition of "Author," along with your continual omission of the necessary article "the," disrupts the flow of every sentence and makes them sound awkward. 

Your punctuation is just out of control entirely. In the first line the essay you have a period, followed by a word that is part of the preceding sentence, followed by a comma.

Subject-verb agreement, in statements such as "author haven't." The author hasn't. And you should avoid using contractions in analytical writing anyway.

You fail to put spaces after commas and periods. The computer is going crazy by now.

Also remember to put a space after parentheses, but, given that it appears you struggle with this-avoid using them at all when you take the test! If in doubt, add a space. It looks better than no space at all, at least to the human reader.

Remember that digits 1-9 are spelled out, not indexed with Arabic numerals.

 

Organizationally, you also have problems. Your prose is not put into proper paragraphs. These prompts require simple five paragraph (at most) essays. In your intro, lay out the three or two things you plan to discuss. Discuss each in its own paragraph. Conclude by answering anything else left in the prompt rather than restating your introduction. 

 

Here is the tough part for me. In the second area of assessment, your engagement with the argument, your performance is not horrible. If all of these grammatical mistakes were gone, you would at least get a 2 on this.  You are engaging critically with the prompt somewhat, but spend too much time summarizing before you analyze a given point. Some of your points are exactly the kind of reaching into the ideas that you need to do, but they all get lost in the grammatical mess. 

 

If you are taking the test soon, my advice would be to go to your local college/university and see about hiring a grammar tutor for some intensive study before the test. You won't be able to perfect it, but you can improve it given the effort. If you work the grammatical problems out, I think you will see more clearly how you are accomplishing the analytical task at hand as you write.  Finally, on the test, give yourself plenty, of time to proofread. I am sure some of these mistakes could have been corrected if you thought about them. 

 

This essay would undoubtably receive a 1 on the test. I say this with the utmost hope that you can improve your score. If you don't mind my asking, is your native language English? If not, I believe there may be some accommodations for you provided by ETS. I am not sure, but you would need to call them to find out as they can't arrange these at the test center. 

 

Best of luck. 

[DSA]

Also, remember that there is a large difference between a county and a country.

[Censorry]

hah

 

I must say, your analysis is not bad at all, if this was written in the English language, it is very probable that you would have gotten a high mark.