I'm Losing My Mind.

[nadimishka]

Alrighty, a little backstory is probably needed. So, I am already in a Master's Program, but my app process for here was quite different. This was not my first choice program (and I switched to a related field). When I initially applied to five programs in my field, I was denied admission to all of them, even my alma mater's Masters- turns out I had a bad recommendation written by one of my recommenders (I didn't waive access because I am a complete control freak). So I scrambled and rethought my options- I literally just applied and didn't even contact POI's or anything and got in. Turns out this was a great decision and makes me a very different kind of applicant for my Ph.D.'s in my original field, but still.

 

Now, I'm losing my mind. I literally felt crushed when I was denied from my top choice school, UT Knoxville. I have dreamed about going there for years. This time I really busted a** to make sure my app was as strong as I could possibly make it.

 

I contacted the Prof who fits my interests to a T- was told that I sounded like "an impressive and motivated student" and that she wished she could consider me but she wasn't taking students this year. She mentioned she would be taking students next year, then gave me the name of two other faculty, said I should contact them and they would be great mentors.

 

Contacted both- first said that my research sounded really interesting, but said that they weren't sure the theoretical background was there to turn it into a dissertation, though it would be good for a Master's project. Said they were looking forward to reading my LOI. Talked to my mentor and edited my LOI to include a theoretical background. Second prof said it was good to hear from me (I have previously interned at the FAC/ARF and took a field course) and that my research sounded great, it was good to have quality information such as my research. Also said they weren't sure about the theoretical background but would be good for a Master's project. Also said she was looking forward to my LOI. Both stated they were taking 1-2 students for the Fall, specifically after that mentioned looking forward to reading my LOI.

 

At another school, POI said that my research sounded innovative and interesting and would benefit any program that accepted me. Then said they only take the top portion of applicants out of a lot. Said they were looking forward to reading my LOI and to give them a call if I had questions or wanted to chat. Will be doing so after the holidays.

 

No response from emails to POI's from other two schools, going to try again soon. Want to possibly do a visit to one.

 

I have a 3.5 undergrad GPA, 4.0 Master's GPA, 312 GRE with 5 AWA, research experience, presentation, publications, grant experience, internships with UTK FAC/ARF and the Medical Examiner here, Independent Studies, TA experience with arch, and I am a graduate assistant. Strong recommenders- my mentor in anth/my thesis advisor (who wrote one for me before that I read, absolutely stellar), my department chair (who is over my grad assistantship and literally has bent over backwards for me on everything), and my research methods prof (who has written me a rec for something else and let me read it- literally the best recommendation ever. EVER.)

 

Now, someone please tell me if the POI's responses should make me hopeful or not. I'm seriously having panic attacks over this shiz.

 

Sorry for the long post but as I said, I'm losing my mind!!!!

Edited December 18, 2013 by nadimishka