MFA Graphic Design SOP - Review and rate!

[Nits]

Hi,

This is a Statement of Purpose for RISD's Graphic Design MFA Program.

I want honest opinions and review on what you thinks works and what doesn't.

A few questions I have :

 

• Is the statement clear about my intention of applying for MFA or is it vague?

• I have tried to use real life examples/incidents that have shaped me along with talking about certain projects I have done. Is this good or should I leave project work to the portfolio?

• I have been through the curriculum they offer and tried to talk about what I like and look forward to. I felt this shows more clarity on my part of wanting to study in RISD particularly. Is this adding value?

 

Any and all comments are appreciated! Thanks!

 _____________________________________________________________________________________

 

‘The secret of success is constancy of purpose.’

 

This quote by Benjamin Disraeli is well suited in the realm of Graphic Design. In my view, design should have a purpose and the success of any piece of graphic design work may be measured through the constancy with which it meets its purpose. Without the bedrock of reason, insight and intent to support the visual and aesthetic form, design work in any capacity – commercial, informational or social – would fail. This is the founding principle on which I base my work in the field of Communication Design.

 

As a graphic design major at Symbiosis Institute of Design, courses such as Typography, Advanced Graphic Design and Design Methodology helped me gain insight into the many facets of Graphic Design. One project in particular, under the mentorship of Prof. Mandar Rane, Faculty IIT IDC, has had a deep impact on my approach to design and it’s problem solving ability. A simple problem, ‘Describe the ailment Cancer to a child’, unearthed questions on methods of effective communication. This creative writing exercise resulted in ‘The Boy Who Had No Hair’, a simple, engaging hand-illustrated book discussing Cancer within the realm of storytelling that children most identify with. With this work, I began to identify Design’s true potential in the thoughtful, informed application of classroom basics and innovative approaches that stand to enhance and enrich human life and it is this potential that I strive to achieve in my work.

 

In a professional capacity, I have had the opportunity to work with a number of start-ups as well as mid-sized companies over the last year where I have played key roles in ideating and executing memorable and unique brand experiences that add value to both the company and it’s audience. I believe in the conceptual, the concise and the unique. My work, ranging in topic from Branding and Advertising to Publication design and Website Design, has assisted me in developing sharp creative thinking, keen aesthetic sense and sound technical skills.

 

At Symbiosis, I also connected with some of the most distinguished personalities in the Indian design landscape today, including Prof. M.C. Patel, Mr. Sudharshan Dheer and Mr. Sudhir Sharma. I count their award winning work in typography, map design, systems design and identity design amongst the influences on my design ethos. My interactions also led to a public speaking engagement on campus as a speaker at Chhap, the National Seminar on Visual Identity held in 2013. I had the opportunity to present my design thesis work on identity design for Breastfeeding Promotion Network of India, the leading breastfeeding advocacy group in India and hold a synergetic discussion on the principles and process of visual identity design in the modern context . My work also helped me explore one of the key issues in women and child development in India today as well as the compelling role of design in addressing it through the creation of communication systems and learning tools for use at a grassroots level and it is something I wish to explore further in my career.

 

To equip myself to take on such challenges as a designer, I wish to further my understanding of the intricacies and interconnections between design, communication and human experience. The Graduate Program in Graphic Design at RISD provides an ideal platform for me to explore and create meaningful design in this context. Supported by state-of-the-art print and digital labs, peer-led critiques, research partnerships in innovation and valuable faculty mentorship, RISD allows me to apply my creative ability and design thinking in collaborative and intensive work that seeks to expand the capability of design. Unique courses such as the Votelab, Uncreative Design, and Unfolding and Enfolding Meaning help me explore design’s momentous role in modern society and my role as a catalyst.

 

RISD’s historic setting, diverse culture and industry links assures me of fresh perspective and lasting influences that reflect in my work. As a graduate of RISD, I aim to use my experience as the foundation for a career in crafting meaningful design and communication solutions in a commercial as well as social setting. In the long term, I look to work on communication in the fields of education and development with the aim of introducing design thinking and learning at the elementary level along the lines of RISD’s pioneer STEM to STEAM initiative, bringing Design to the forefront of Innovation in the 21^st century.

 _____________________________________________________________________________________

 

[Loric]

Quick notes..

 

You're uploading a PDF via Slideroom - do not give them a word document. PDF all the way. Also, that quote better look darn spiffy at the top. They will take into consideration your formatting because of your chosen major. See the entire page as it presented as a sort of "these are the basics of how this person presents information given a blank canvas."

 

As for the quote, you can keep it, somehow fluffy formatted at the top, with a simple  "-Name Name" attribution under it and then ditch the first explanatory sentence. Heck, ditch "in my view" too. Just go for the jugular.

 

"Without the bedrock of reason, insight and intent to support the visual and aesthetic form, design work in any capacity – commercial, informational or social – would fail."

 

Trim trim trim. Too many "and" statements. It's confusing, I'm really not sure what it's saying. In particular I'm not sure what "intent to support the visual and aesthetic form" actually means.

 

"With this work, I began to identify Design’s true potential in the thoughtful, informed application of classroom basics and innovative approaches that stand to enhance and enrich human life and it is this potential that I strive to achieve in my work."

 

Pick one half of each statement pair.. thoughtful or informed, classroom basics or innovative approaches, enhance or enrich.. etc.. Bouncing around makes the sentence overly long and the point becomes muddled.

 

Also, why is Design seemingly personified..? Generally people have potential.. not abstract concepts.. Are we talking about all design? Any design? Your design? My design? Clarify and don't capitalize there. You can capitalize when you talk about a specific program or title with the word design in it, but all by itself or as an entity design is not a formal noun. Further, if you mention graphic design outside of the context of the course of study itself do not capitalize it. The course of study makes it formal as that is the given name of the course of study, graphic design itself as a thing is not.

 

"ideating"

 

What on earth is ideating..?

 

"My work, ranging in topic from Branding and Advertising to Publication design and Website Design, has assisted me in developing sharp creative thinking, keen aesthetic sense and sound technical skills."

 

Eww..

 

"My work has assisted me in developing sharp creative thinking, keen aesthetic sense, (oxford comma) and sound technical skills in topics such as branding, advertising, publication, and website design."

 

Much clearer doesn't sound like spouting corporate buzzwords anymore.

 

"I count their award winning work in typography, map design, systems design and identity design amongst the influences on my design ethos."

 

Amongst is an outdated term, use among (which is still old, but acceptable). I'd also drop the first two instances of "design" in the sentence and allow the final item in the list define the whole.

 

"Breastfeeding Promotion Network of India, the leading"

 

"the Breastfeeding... India, a leading..."

 

"..group in India" period. New sentence. "I held.." etc..

 

Should be "women's" if paired with child development.  Also the "it" in that sentence is way too far away from what it's standing in for - cut the sentence down, simplify, and make that "it" an obvious stand-in. You can likely get 3 good sentences out of that single confusing one.

 

"Supported by state-of-the-art print and digital labs, peer-led critiques, research partnerships in innovation and valuable faculty mentorship,"

 

That sounds like you copied it off the school's website. If you want to give examples give more meaningful ones.

 

"RISD’s historic setting, diverse culture and industry links assures me of fresh perspective and lasting influences that reflect in my work"

 

Getting ahead of yourself? "will reflect."

 

"As a graduate of RISD, I aim to use"

 

Same - will or would. You aren't yet.

 

--

 

So... overall... there's a huge disconnect between the first paragraph and the second. The first is bold in what it's stating, the second seems to be a standard sort of essay.. We went from a high to a low and it's a big dramatic drop. I think what's missing is the "what" of what you want to do. I have no idea why you want to go to RISD. Like, what would you want to achieve..? Specifically.. There's some classes listed but I don't recall a major goal. Is it the STEM to STEAM thing..? If so, say that much much earlier.

 

A good approach is "opening bravado" then "aspirations" followed by "reasons I'm not insane for wanting to do these things - aka: experience or the story so far" and finally "the ways your school will further me in my goals."

 

Specifc Q's:

 

-Is the statement clear about my intention of applying for MFA or is it vague?

 

Vague. I think your ideas are there, but they're not presented as first and foremost. Why do you want to go there...?

 

-I have tried to use real life examples/incidents that have shaped me along with talking about certain projects I have done. Is this good or should I leave project work to the portfolio?

 

A little of column A, a little of column B. Name dropping is "meh" as a thing - I'd focus more on the concepts themselves. Citing the actual projects is fine but you need to speak about them in more distinct terms. Less corporate sounding. Delve into the guts and innards of what they are and why they're important. 

 

-I have been through the curriculum they offer and tried to talk about what I like and look forward to. I felt this shows more clarity on my part of wanting to study in RISD particularly. Is this adding value?

 

To an extent.. but you list the classes and don't give any specifics of why for each. What do you think you'd get from those classes in particular? Things like "design’s momentous role in modern society and my role as a catalyst" are big concepts, you need to dive deeper and look for minutia that you've keyed into. Many of your statements seem very surface level and thus come off as a bit shallow in your understanding of the program and even yourself and your aspirations.

 

Consider a field of green on a canvas. Is it grass? That's the 10,000ft high broad overview. That's nice.. but anyone can tell you that from a glance. Grass is green. It's when you start to define the stalks and notice the subtle changes in hue, the shadows they cast, the way the individual stalks bend and the crease of the vein running along the shaft. Then it's really grass. You don't need to talk about the microscopic level and photosynthesis, but you need to get down deep enough that you're really discussing what you want to. Right now you're hovering miles above it.