My MA Advisor

[bellagrl]

So I was totally inspired to work with a particular professor for my MA thesis. However, every time I try to carry on some kind of conversation about the field, the scholars, info about my work, etc. he seems to be quite short, almost like "can we get this over with", which makes me feel very uncomfortable. Here is the twist, he seems to get along quite well with a different set of students, so now of course I feel it's personal. It has come to the point where the motivation and persistence for this project is diminishing, because I know I have to communicate and ask questions to a man who does not want to enagage in an actual exchange of information. Any advice, anyone experience anything like this? what do I do?

[Jack Cade]

Ah well don't be loquacious, sometimes that is annoying when you're working with someone who likes you and you don't like them.

And yes, that happens.

Its not personal, it just is.

If everybody liked you, what a dull person you'd have to be, or painfully, pathetically needy to try so hard to get them to like you.

Recognize the situation and do your best to make it professional and painless for you both.

THAT will reflect well on you.

Second, double check what kind of work he does, see if maybe what you're doing is profoundly uninteresting to him; I do power, social theory, class identity sorts of stuff, gender, sexuality, or body studies stuff makes me want to brain myself after a shockingly short amount of time---this is tricky cause that is the exact kind of work my partner does, fortunately my stuff sends her looking for a way to change the conversation channel just as quickly.

My MA advisor for instance, is not really even remotely interested in the way I do the thing, but for a variety of reasons we're stuck with each other for a few more months.

I like her, I think she kind of likes me. So it works, but we don't get on all that well, we're just nice people working together.

Third, you could summon up your courage, be forthright, and ask...

Fourth, some people have a hard time being friendly when they are in the evaluating chair.

Also, he may intimidated by your knowledge or something, or interprets your conversation as a boorish effort at self-promotion. Or perhaps there is some screwball attraction thing going on...

Maybe you need to brush your teeth/tongue better or more often.

Maybe you've done something that somehow was misinterpreted...

Maybe you're a republican and he's a raging liberal or vice versa.

Maybe your thesis project is weak, and he just hasn't had the heart to tell you---I honestly doubt this, if you are doing it, it has been filtered, and that process usually insures that even us dumb asses produce something reasonable.

All in all, it is almost over, it is probably mostly in your imagination.

And if it isn't who cares, he'll be in the rear view mirror by this time next year.

[windsweptvoid]

I know lots of people who have experienced similar stuff--- sometimes it just happens. I'd say try not to worry about it best you can, and just do what you need to do. If you keep up your end of hte bargain you may find that even if he doesn't *like* you, he may come to respect you.

I think I caused myself similar problems just because i 'thought' my chair didn't like me. I imagine that me acting nervous and intimidated, and apologizing every 60 seconds didn't help anything. I'm not saying that's you're problem-- but if you just relax and try not to worry about it you may find that the prob remedies itself.

[Jack Cade]

exactement!

[commoner]

Your chair needs to be willing to carry on conversation about your research. Otherwise, what is the point of working with that person?

I, personally, had issues with my chair whom I greatly respect. I re-chaired myself with another prof that was willing to read, talk, meet, do whatever was necessary to help me in my work, and I wrote a much better thesis because of this.

Your thesis is your thesis. Do what you need to do to make it the best it can be.

[Jack Cade]

But do we want to do that half-way through April?

[commoner]

At my school, I had to have it committee reviewed, revised, and signed off by mid-March for Spring completion. I re-chaired in January of that semester. If I hadn't, I would not have graduated. 6 weeks and 85 pages later, I was extremely happy with the work I produced as were all the members of my committee.

If someone is still working on their thesis in April, my guess is that the goal is not to be done this semester. If that is the goal, and it is nearly finished, do it and move on. If the goal is for a later completion, do what is best for yourself and find someone willing to actually work with you. You will produce better work.

[windsweptvoid]

At my school, I had to have it committee reviewed, revised, and signed off by mid-March for Spring completion. I re-chaired in January of that semester. If I hadn't, I would not have graduated. 6 weeks and 85 pages later, I was extremely happy with the work I produced as were all the members of my committee.

If someone is still working on their thesis in April, my guess is that the goal is not to be done this semester. If that is the goal, and it is nearly finished, do it and move on. If the goal is for a later completion, do what is best for yourself and find someone willing to actually work with you. You will produce better work.

Yeah that's my thing. With an MA, if you're finishing this year I wouldn't be rearranging at this point. Even if the plan is to finish in the summer-- faculty is generally less available over the summer (even if they're available, they generally don't want to spend as much time chatting about your thesis, or so is my impression). For a dissertation chair, well that's a different story.

[rufzilla]

Even if he is short or curt is he still giving you good feedback? If so, I would say just put a smile on your face, grin, and bear it. If the information and feedback is good then he is fulfilling his job responsibilities and you just have to be professional about it. That's how life is. The best way to deal with it is kill 'em with kindness/ professionalism because at least he won't have any reason to lead you astray or dick you around.

Maybe you should also take a look at how you are interacting with him. Is your nervousness making him act this way? He might be treating you this way because you are letting him. Just be confident and do your thing. That's all you can do. Besides, its not like he's gonna bite you or anything.

Another good way to try and soften up this hard-boiled egg of a adviser is bring him cookies. If I didn't like you and you brought me cookies I would like you then, at least until the cookies were gone.

[lotf629]

Let me also just say that maybe your advisor doesn't hate you at all. Some people are just difficult. I've had relationships with teachers whom I thought really disliked me that just turned out to be distracted by personal circumstances, etc. I agree with everyone else on this board that you shouldn't be too worried about the personal side of this relationship, but I also think that you should just assume that the problem isn't with you. Chances are very good that this person has left others feeling left out in the cold as well, and that he would be startled to know how his treatment of you is being perceived. Just assume that he likes you fine but is essentially treating you in a professional but distracted manner, and get through it as best you can.

[lotf629]

I've just reread your post and I want to say again that nothing in your post makes me confident that he dislikes you. Some people are just more distant toward their advisees than others. One of the cardinal rules of grad school, I think, is to take personally as little as possible.