An Awful Poem (Or why I'm Comp/Rhet)

[bhr]

I sit here waiting for the phone to ring,
my email to chime or beep

the anxiety is getting to me

I can hardly study or sleep

for my next five year are out of my hand

as I wait for grad school admission

but the web portals all still stubbornly says

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

 

 

I try to will the damn things to change

just give me some small piece of mind

but I log into the sites up to 10 times a day

and it's always the same thing I find

day after day, they all seem to say

we're still reviewing your application submission

and the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I'm writing this poem to relieve the stress

and I know that it's well below par
my creative writing skills, if I had to admit

will never get me too far

so instead I applied for all of those schools

for programs in rhet/composition

but the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

 

I think that I'm going out of my mind

FOR FUCK SAKE JUST CHANGE ONE DAMN LINE

and my advisor's getting sick of having to say

"just shut up, you're going to be fine"

but I just won't believe, without acceptance in hand

that I've earned a grad school position

but the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

 

I see those damn words now everywhere that I go

I just can't avoid going crazy

Worrying about grades I received freshman year

why was 18 year old me so damn lazy

I afraid that each C (or honestly, D)

has screwed me in this competition

and the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

 

I can't recall the last time I felt

like I had some control of my fate

I'm actively searched for news from these schools

I'm that desperate for any update

I would call the schools for my status

if it wasn't a huge imposition

because the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

 

I know I'm not the first to feel this way

In fact it's an annual tradition

And obsessing over things we cannot control

Is part of the human condition

But if I was in charge of the world today

I'd vote for the strict abolition

of those three fucking words that are driving me nuts

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

Edited February 13, 2014 by bhr

[semicolon2013]

I love it.

[Flibbertigibbet]

I was wondering when someone would start writing poetry!

May I try?

 

Again I see this month of woe go by:

while I check my online account in vain

and sigh. Sun, darest thou shine?  O Rain!

This State, this waiting game, this endless lie

I daily live. Purdue, to you I’d fly,

for I cannot stop this rejection pain;

too long endured, too long, too long I’ve lain

amid these ruins, cast away. My

future unknown, my breaths stag’ring, so sick:

Purdue, you frighten me! I am undone

and still you withhold this e-mail; be quick

to accept me, and fund me too! There’s one

day left—I am fill’d with proverbial fire:

Rhet/Comp at Purdue is my greatest desire.

[WendyWonderland]

I sit here waiting for the phone to ring,

my email to chime or beep

the anxiety is getting to me

I can hardly study or sleep

for my next five year are out of my hand

as I wait for grad school admission

but the web portals all still stubbornly says

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I love it!!!!!!!!

U re brilliant , u would do fine!

That's easy to say. I stayed in the office till midnight

And did no work

Just checked the gradcafe. I think I am going nuts.

I try to will the damn things to change

just give me some small piece of mind

but I log into the sites up to 10 times a day

and it's always the same thing I find

day after day, they all seem to say

we're still reviewing your application submission

and the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I'm writing this poem to relieve the stress

and I know that it's well below par

my creative writing skills, if I had to admit

will never get me too far

so instead I applied for all of those schools

for programs in rhet/composition

but the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I think that I'm going out of my mind

FOR FUCK SAKE JUST CHANGE ONE DAMN LINE

and my advisor's getting sick of having to say

"just shut up, you're going to be fine"

but I just won't believe, without acceptance in hand

that I've earned a grad school position

but the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I see those damn words now everywhere that I go

I just can't avoid going crazy

Worrying about grades I received freshman year

why was 18 year old me so damn lazy

I afraid that each C (or honestly, D)

has screwed me in this competition

and the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I can't recall the last time I felt

like I had some control of my fate

I'm actively searched for news from these schools

I'm that desperate for any update

I would call the schools for my status

if it wasn't a huge imposition

because the web portals all still stubbornly say

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

I know I'm not the first to feel this way

In fact it's an annual tradition

And obsessing over things we cannot control

Is part of the human condition

But if I was in charge of the world today

I'd vote for the strict abolition

of those three fucking words that are driving me nuts

AWAITING PROGRAM DECISION

[ProfLorax]

I was wondering when someone would start writing poetry!

May I try?

 

Again I see this month of woe go by:

while I check my online account in vain

and sigh. Sun, darest thou shine?  O Rain!

This State, this waiting game, this endless lie

I daily live. Purdue, to you I’d fly,

for I cannot stop this rejection pain;

too long endured, too long, too long I’ve lain

amid these ruins, cast away. My

future unknown, my breaths stag’ring, so sick:

Purdue, you frighten me! I am undone

and still you withhold this e-mail; be quick

to accept me, and fund me too! There’s one

day left—I am fill’d with proverbial fire:

Rhet/Comp at Purdue is my greatest desire.

My favorite part of this poem is that it is your first post! Welcome! And good luck with Purdue!

[WendyWonderland]

I was wondering when someone would start writing poetry!

May I try?

Again I see this month of woe go by:

while I check my online account in vain

and sigh. Sun, darest thou shine? O Rain!

This State, this waiting game, this endless lie

I daily live. Purdue, to you I’d fly,

for I cannot stop this rejection pain;

too long endured, too long, too long I’ve lain

amid these ruins, cast away. My

future unknown, my breaths stag’ring, so sick:

Purdue, you frighten me! I am undone

and still you withhold this e-mail; be quick

to accept me, and fund me too! There’s one

day left—I am fill’d with proverbial fire:

Rhet/Comp at Purdue is my greatest desire.

Love this one too!

May I also try?

My professor told me that I was crazy

Without contacting faculties before applying was just lazy

But I sticked to my opinion that if my materials shine

Admission won't rely on dropping a word so I would do fine.

Never has seen a process so weird and tricky

I must admit sometimes u just have to be lucky

How do you evaluate yourself and how is " fit " defined

Well I guess the interest of the research and the profs has to be combined.

Waiting it out gives me the feeling most ill tasty

I can't control myself and wrote to the contact which shows being hasty

They did not reply, I heart my heart in pieces

I feel hope and right after it's like there is no Jesus.

Forget about concentration, there is no way

Feeling blind by staring at the grad cafe all day

No message at all, why the delay

The fear of unknown is torture and ironically I had to pay.

I know after 1 month I would be all right

In the meantime I just have to look for the bright sight

Stay positive, everybody say

They just don't understand that a dream is never light

I signed my name, oh no I signed my fate

What do I still have to do to cross the Ivy gate

Many of u plays the same game and know

Chasing a school is like getting a date.

All about feelings, but GRE + GPA numbers count

Plus financial situation shrinks the chemical bond.

At the end it's a process so dear

With what u experience how to conquer your fear

Joy or sorrow, no matter which row,

We re already on road and we re sure to grow.

[Flibbertigibbet]

I love how Rhet/Comp is so cross-genre. I'm sure MFA students could write awesome theoretical papers about their grad-school anxiety, but those wouldn't be so much fun to read. 

 

proflorax--Thank you for welcoming me! 

WendyWonderland--Good job! 

And bhr--Thank you for starting this angsty poetry trend! 

[bhr]

Happy to oblige! We had a snow day today, and all I could think to do was obsess over my applications or drink (and there is too much snow to get to the liquor store.) I'm about as far ahead as I can get in my classes without just being annoying. I've done my reading responses for my practicum for the the next month already, and it looks like we're going to have another snow day tomorrow.

[ComeBackZinc]

We had a job candidate come today, and as is tradition, she had an informal lunch with the grad students so that she could get a breather from all the evaluation. So she went all around the room and asked for what we're interested in and studying. The diversity expressed in that room is why I'm so glad to be a part of the field.

[WendyWonderland]

Happy to oblige! We had a snow day today, and all I could think to do was obsess over my applications or drink (and there is too much snow to get to the liquor store.) I'm about as far ahead as I can get in my classes without just being annoying. I've done my reading responses for my practicum for the the next month already, and it looks like we're going to have another snow day tomorrow.

I really love your poem!

We also have snow today in Beijing. It's Friday plus valentines day. It's also a very important Chinese New Year festival day today. But I have no feelings at all. I just want the time to go faster and hopes for every message I could get. The website is not helping. I want to email according to the result board, another rejection from Yale has been posted, I feel so powerless because of the unknown

[WendyWonderland]

I love how Rhet/Comp is so cross-genre. I'm sure MFA students could write awesome theoretical papers about their grad-school anxiety, but those wouldn't be so much fun to read.

proflorax--Thank you for welcoming me!

WendyWonderland--Good job!

And bhr--Thank you for starting this angsty poetry trend!

Oh, thank u very much!

Not so much is helping to ease the pain.

Writing drinking and gym maybe....