Withdrawing an acceptance?

[frthrow]

I realize this is probably a bizarre situation and I apologize if I'm not the first to experience this, but I felt as though I might as well post... Basically, I had committed to give a decision (via e-mail) on a PhD program in the Humanities (specifically in the languages) by yesterday, April 7; I was deciding between two programs, and ultimately accepted an offer given that, over the weekend, I was informed that I had received a first-year fellowship worth +4,000 which relieves me of any obligation to teach over that first year. However, since sending the e-mail I strongly feel that I've made the wrong decision (I agonize over such things anyway, but I've never felt so badly about a decision I've made). Essentially, I've looked again at course offerings and haven't found that those at the institution I've accepted are more broad/have greater breadth than the ones at the other program (despite my whole argument when deciding being 'well, this program is more traditional, will offer me a better foundation, etc.'); the program I haven't notified yet has had two recent placements in prestigious institutions compared to the program I accepted, which has had fairly modest placements; and the offerings in terms of work outside the department/graduate minors aren't as impressive. My logic was that the program I accepted didn't have the one professor I wanted to work with in the other program, but had two more faculty (including one in my period of interest) and would therefore offer me a broader grounding. Yet course offerings are fairly standard, and I'm not impressed by what's offered outside the department. I realize it's ridiculous that I've just now thought of all of this but I feel physically ill - as if the only reason I decided on the program in question was because they offered me the first-year fellowship, which, while a huge help in terms of not having to teach for a year, shouldn't have been what I based my decision on. Given that I've accepted via e-mail but not yet signed any documents, and only a day has elapsed, could I withdraw my acceptance without coming across as utterly unprofessional?

 

Obviously I don't want to give details on a public forum but if someone wants to talk via PM I could give more information.

 

Many thanks.

 

 

[TakeruK]

If you are 100% certain that you have made the wrong decision, then it should be okay to send the school an email and apologize for your previous email but you have changed your mind. Obviously, there is no going back after this--it would be completely unprofessional to continue to waver on this. I think you send your corrected decision within a day or two it should not be as bad. There will still be some consequences, since people don't like it when someone backs out of a commitment, even if it's only by email. However, you didn't actually sign the official acceptance (so it sounds), and ultimately, you need to make the right choice for yourself, so I think if this is truly the wrong decision for you, it's worth the potential harm that might come.

 

Of course, I am sure you have thought about this already, and only you can decide for yourself, but also consider whether you truly don't want this program. It's common for there to be "decider's remorse" after accepting an offer because accepting one means turning down a lot of other opportunities!