Did you face burn out in grad school?

[MaryShelley]

My first semester has been a roller coaster of sorts... From putting up with the peskiest roommates to being forced to move out in the middle of the semester and sleeping in the library for three weeks, from not being able to secure a part-time job or assistantship despite very relevant work-experience and extra curriculars, from an eating disorder to poor grades to sexual abuse, I have had a rather eventful semester. I actually also applied to two other schools with the intention of transferring from my current school, but I have been denied again. I am burned out with not an iota of concentrating ability left. I tried counselling but that doesn't help either, although I must admit I haven't been very proactive. But I just cannot bring myself to do anything anymore. I started freelancing to pay my bills but the job is very hectic with a meager salary, so to make time for studying I have literally been working round the clock. I feel lethargic and very stressed and burned now.... does anyone have any suggestions?

[St Andrews Lynx]

Quit and start anew. Or take a leave of absence and really make an effort with the therapy/get a better therapist. 

 

Dealing with the sexual abuse & eating disorders is really important. They may be affecting you both directly & indirectly, and they may lead to a greater emotional pile-up if suppressed for too long. The poor concentration and depression probably stems from the crap you've had to deal with this semester - I would guess that it has less to do with the grad school itself.  

[themmases]

I agree with St Andrews Lynx-- you should leave or at least take a leave of absence. I left a masters program a few years ago this way, and honestly it's one of the best decisions I ever made. My anxiety and depression were so severe I used to hope I'd get hit by a car on the way to the el just so I wouldn't have to go to school. At the same time, like you, I continued to go to my job and be good at it. Seriously, paying your bills freelancing is hard, let alone doing that while going to school, and you should be proud. If you're already able to handle that, you might be surprised how good you are at it and how manageable it seems when you take worry about school off your plate.

 

If your counseling is through school, please look into whether/how you could continue to use it during a leave of absence, or referrals to a low-cost provider in your community. You may also need other guidance and support from your school if you are an international student.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you. This isn't your fault, and it isn't just burnout-- it reflects on the multiple people in your life who have obviously been cruel to you during a time in your life that would already have been stressful. I hope you get the help with this that you deserve.