Critique my SOP please :)

[polishk5]

Hi all, here is a very rough draft of my SOP so far. I am posting it here for reviews before I continue further. Constructive criticism is appreciated! Thanks!

 

 

"To whom it may concern:

I am applying to the graduate school of the University of South Dakota to pursue an M.A. in Interdisciplinary Studies. I have chosen two areas of specialization: Political Sciences and Business Administration. I have always held a significant interest in political studies and how events shape the world in which we live. Since I was a young child, I have found political events and elections intriguing. My interest first materialized during the Presidential election of 1992. I watched the campaign with eager anticipation as George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Ross Perot fought to the finish; as a second-grade student living near the nation’s capital, I actively participated in my school’s mock debates and elections. Throughout my secondary education, government and history were two subjects that I actually looked forward to. I believe the study of business to go hand-in-hand with political sciences because, after all, politics is a business and without the components of business, a political system would have no hope of prospering. Economics, ethics, management, finance and organization are all just a few of the areas that aid the government in sustaining itself and its citizens. With an M.A.I.S. in these fields, I hope to obtain a career working with the federal government where my capabilities can be used to impact our country’s domestic concerns, welfare of its citizens and relationships abroad.

Growing up in a lower-middle class family with multiple children, a college education was not something I was prepared for. I was never given the guidance to seek out a university or given the opportunity to take the SATs. Instead, following high school, I had to rely solely on myself if I wanted to achieve any academic success. I fully supported myself by working 40+ hours each week and paying for my education out-of-pocket. It may have taken me more than the average four years to obtain my baccalaureate, but I completed my degree in history at the University of Maryland University College with a 3.26 and still have the motivation to continue my education further.

My studies of history at UMUC further encouraged my pursuance of political knowledge as the two areas are deeply interrelated. Completing such courses as “The U.S. Civil War”, “Europe’s Bloodiest Century”, and numerous World War I and II related courses, I encountered the political traditions and thoughts of varying countries and leaders that have, ultimately, molded the political platforms and interstate relations we have today.

In 2011, my husband’s service in the United States Air Force took us across the ocean to Tokyo, Japan, where my admiration for political systems strengthened and I gained an interest in international relations. I became very fascinated by how our political actions at home and abroad affect our relationships throughout the globe. While living in Tokyo, I taught as an English language instructor. Spending the majority of my time with Japanese citizens gave me an insight as to how our political structures and behaviors affect not only our own country, but our affairs with those around the world, as well. I was part of Yokota Air Base’s Friendship Committee, which sought to strengthen relationships between the Americans living on-base and our Japanese neighbors. I also volunteered with the Friendship Festivals, where we welcomed Japanese citizens onto base to experience American life and culture.

Aside from my experiences in America and Japan, I also took a month-long study of Polish language and culture at Jagiellonian University in Krakow, Poland. Being that my family is of Polish descent, I have always been captivated by almost anything related to the Eastern European nation. During my time in Poland, I was able to reflect on the political decisions that were made during and following the two World Wars. I was able to experience a first-hand account of the rapidly-growing economy of Poland and its many profitable successes following the fall of the Soviet Union. I believe the fiscal accomplishments of Poland to be a strong example for any political structure or business. Together, my educational and professional experiences have all positively impacted me and have prepared me for further study in a graduate program.

In my graduate degree plan, I aim to study political and business courses dealing with subtopics such as public policy, fiscal management, political theories, ethics, marketing, communications and international relations. I hope that, if possible, I will be able to experience a study-abroad program that will impact my graduate degree. I believe this experience, as well as my preferred subtopics, to be valuable for my interests in attaining a position with the federal government.

I have always known of the University of South Dakota as a well-respected school. While searching for a graduate program, I was instantaneously attracted to it because of the programs made available through the online distance program. Due to my husband’s career, I have moved five times in the past five years and find that distance learning is the only appropriate format for my education. University of South Dakota offered the exact program that I was looking for, the Masters of Science in Interdisciplinary Studies. This program allows me to create a specific plan for my personal and professional goals..... "