GRE essay pls critique

[dicapino]

* was able to type this In 26 mins...brainstormed for 4mins....any feedback would be helpful.

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

 

Technology has been a boon to human development; but have humans become so dependent on technology that it could lead to deterioration of the human faculty?  While innovation has had a positive effect on humans, certain aspects of our lives now see technology as a necesity. Yet I believe in many situations technology has engendered improvement in human ingenuity and thinking rather than exacerbate it.

Technology has provided humans with a means to solve complex problems: from the creation of fire by the Stone Age Man and the creation of Internal Combustion Engine to the creation of the internet, they all have a particular goal to make human living better. Issues that may seem abstruse and mundane have been solved by technology. Inventions like the automobile has solved the problem of transiting from place to place, research in the medcine has led to the eradication of virulent diseases like small pox, and scourges like Cancer and HIV are still been tackled. All these technological developments have made life more bearable and surely not exacerbated human thinking.

Solving complex problems is a benefit of technology, but it is human intellect that brings about this advancement. Technological breakthroughs are brought about by human research and ingenuity. And this is carried out by individuals brainstorming and thinking of models, designs and softwares that would make a technology beneficial to the public. As humans develop there would always be need for inventions; thus, human would continue to think on how to solve complex problems. For example, global warming and HIV/Aids provides a great problem for humanity and it is humans that must think of ways to solve these problems. Technology does not deteriorate human thinking.

Although certain individuals tend to be dependent on technology- students who can’t solve simple problems without their calculators, adults who are helpless without their phones- It is not general. The benefit of technology to the human intellects outstrips its drawbacks.

[someth1ng]

I'm by no means a writing superstar but "Yet I believe" turns this into a subjective piece and it's rather pointless to say "I believe" because it's a bit obvious - you wouldn't be justifying a stance if you didn't believe it.

[dicapino]

thanks. I do that a lot, would try to phase it out of my writing.

What do you think of the essay generally.