Please evaluate my SOP!

[S.K.]

Hello

I am currently writing my SOP for a PhD program and they want it to be 500 words + a research interest

I don't really know, how I can convince anybody that I'm a perfect fit for a PhD program in 500 words or less...

I welcome any critique on my SOP

 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kofpjubnsf93w0v/My%20Statement%20of%20Purpose.pdf

 

 

thank you

 

PS. I'm applying for language learning PhD's

[Dedi]

It sounds too generic and broad, especially your research interests and methodology/theory used. There are also some sentences that really need some rephrasing, especially in the second paragraph. For example, one of your sentences should be divided into two instead of separating them with a comma. I would do some literature searches to see what you are interested in and what techniques they used. You don't have to cite them in the SOP, but I believe you should have a better idea of what you are going to study.

[geographyrocks]

I don't like the opening.  Maybe it's just personal preference, but it just seems off somehow.  I think it's all of the questions.  Maybe you could rephrase it so that you are telling a story AND stating your research interests. 

 

"which is acknowledged in being one of the best in Europe in training future teachers" - By saying this you are: stating the obvious if it is the best and potentially insulting the schools you're applying to. 

 

Don't list the classes you studied, talk about the classes that had the biggest impact on your future research.  They can see what classes you took on your transcript.
 

Don't list assignments that you did, talk about how your interest developed because of the assignments.  Did you have any accomplishments as a teacher?  Talk about those. 

Also, I'm a little confused.  Are you interested in how children can learn languages faster or in how cultures view one another and themselves?  Your entire second paragraph is about learning languages while the rest of your essay is about cultures. 

You paragraph about the university you are interested in is WAY too vague.  Of course they offer higher learning, all universities do.  What are the professors you are interested in doing research on?  Does the department specialize in the methods you want to use or the subject you want to study?  Why will *insert university* prepare you more than other schools?

 

After reading your SOP, I still don't know exactly what you want to study or why you would want to study at that university. 

I hope I'm not coming off as harsh, but these SOPs really play a big part in getting accepted. 

Maybe you should make a list of questions and answer them.  That's what I did.  It kinda went like this:

 

What do I want to study? Why?

How did I decide what I wanted to study?

What are my accomplishments so far that makes me an awesome candidate?

What makes this university a place I want to attend? (Must be specific)

What professors do I like?

What papers have they written lately that are related to what I want to study?

 

I hope that helps a little.

Edited August 8, 2014 by geographyrocks

[S.K.]

oh thank you much!

I have not really thought about it, this is my first time writing a SOP, so I just started writing and writing and I know that its not good

I have revised it about 5 times by now, but the info you gave me should help me a lot.

 

Actually I am interested in two things: 1. various teaching approaches and testing 2. interaction of learners with different backgrounds and from different countries and how beneficial this would be in developing learning skills.