Just arrived at MSt, considering leaving

[Nina Blount]

Hi GradCafe-ers,

 

I arrived in a mid-size European city I've never been to before this week to start my MSt in literature, and I am feeling like it was a serious mistake, and that I should drop out before I accumulate debt. I am trying to weigh the pros and cons of this decision, and would appreciate any input from this community. 

A bit about what brought me to this point: I graduated from an Ivy League school in the US in 2009, worked in editorial at a fancy magazine in New York, and managed a think tank's magazine in DC. I lost that job and I moved back to New York, where I had a few false starts getting jobs at other magazines, and then decided to become a freelance writer (mainly out of financial necessity.) I did not even remotely dedicate myself to building a meaningful career as a freelancer, mainly because most freelance jobs that pay living wages are difficult to find much meaning in, i.e. copywriting. I thought that going back to school might be a good way to re-orient my life back in the direction I had been going before losing my job DC, and applied to a few UK MSt programs because they are faster and cheaper degrees than those in the U.S. I got into a good (Russell Group) one year MSt program and decided to go.

 

I arrived a week ago and feel completely out of place. Almost everyone in my program wants to go on to a doctorate next year, and I most definitely do not. I am the oldest person in my program, and a solid half of my classmates just graduated from undergrad (uni?) The coursework seems ridiculously light (three courses a semester, one of which is a fluff "research skills" class, two hours of class a week, with reading for 2/3 classes one book and a few poems a week and a semester-long adventure in creating an annotated bibliography for the other.) My dissertation is only allowed to be 15,000 words. This level of instruction and course structure doesn't seem like it is worth the $60,000 in debt. I've lived abroad before and loved it, but even the beautiful city this program is in is leaving me pretty cold and disinterested.

 

My goal after the program is to move to LA and try to find better-paid and more genuinely creative work there than is available to people with my background in New York. I like project-based work, and would hope to do some on films, with museums, and with magazines in research, writing, and editing. I have a few significant contacts there that I hope make this slightly more than a pipe dream, but I also can't write that without feeling like Tommy Wilhelm. 

 

My question is that given the amount of debt I would be taking on to finish this program, the fact that a master's is unnecessary for the kind of work described above, and the two year gap that will appear on my resumé if I drop out, what is the smart thing to do? Were it not for my decisions over the past year and a half, I think I would leave the program. But I think I need the program in order to re-gain some professional traction and avoid the unanswerable-as-is question of what I've recently been doing with my life. I had high hopes for the program, and am genuinely disappointed to be feeling this way. I am sure that I would love engaging with the material in my program, but I am not sure I am comfortable having that as a reason for attending. 

 

Practical matters: I think I could get the 1/3 of tuition I've already put down back if I were to leave the program soon. I want to stop moving around every year and put down roots somewhere. I would like that place to be LA, and would have a few thousand dollars to start out if I went now, vs. -$60,000 if I waited, but I doubt my ability to find work out there without being able to show something for the past few years of my life. I am speaking with my programme director about my second thoughts and asking her if there are opportunities in the course and the school that might help me rather than just interest me, like working on projects with professors and/or taking a creative writing workshop in which I could write a book or essay collection to pitch to agents. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance for any advice you might have - all experiences and opinions would be very welcome to hear. 

[bsharpe269]

My first comment is that I would never personally consider going 60k into debt for a grad progam. This is even more true since you are interested in becoming a writer. The rule of thumb is to never consider going more than a year's salary in debt for a masters degree. I think this rule is even generous.

 

That being said, I just saw a sort of similar post the other day that I (and a couple others) had the same response to. Grad school is not like undergrad at all. The number of hours that you must spend on courses is probably double in undergrad than grad school. This doesnt mean that you will not learn in grad school... you are supposed to learn in a different way. For example, I am working my MS and am applying to phd programs so I spend at least 30 hours a week on research. I also spend a lot of time reading interesting papers in my field or even studying on my own from other textbooks that I am interested in. In grad school, you will not be spoon fed information like in undergrad. It is your responsibility to take control of your education and learn as much as you want to. So given that you arent satisfied with the difficulty of your classes (this is normal BTW, the classes arent meant to take all your time or else you wouldnt have time for more imporant things), what are you doing on your own to learn and better prepare yourself for your career? I would assume that you have found or are looking for part time internships, are reading tons of papers in your field, going to as many seminars as possible to make connections, etc. If you arent doing these things then that is the problem and you should take ownership over your education. The role that the institution plays is in providing seminars, access to journals, connections to internships, the ability to build relationships with professors. Really, you are paying for these things as much as the classes.

 

I hope that might help a bit... you totally have to transition to a different mindset in grad school which can take some time. I was also frustrated with the ease of my classes at first but now know that if they were any harder than i wouldnt have time for my research which I value more. Good luck in whatever you decide!