Statement of Purpose Writer's Block

[BagiBadi]

I started this account to get advice for this.

 

I have a BS in chemistry with coursework tailored to some biochemistry. I have a 3.6 GPA, but also a troubled academic history. I was expelled from pharmacy school for professional reasons, although this didn't prevent me from applying to and obtaining my BS. I'm trying to apply to for a pHD program in chemistry.

 

I've read a lot of other threads asking how they can overcome bad transcripts with a good SOP and experience. But I feel like I have nearly the opposite problem. I have decentish-to-good grades and GRE score and some lab experience but feel that this is all I have going for me. I don't feel like I can write a good SOP without resorting to inane anecdotes or spending a lot of time talking about my expulsion from pharmacy. And I haven't ever managed to find paying work doing so much as mixing chemicals in the two years since I graduated.

 

I've been depressed and just can't see any positive qualities in myself, or at least, none that I can demonstrate without anecdotes or inane assertions.

My attitude inevitably bleeds its way into all my drafts. I look at them and just see a worthless depressive drama bomb that can't help but hurt my chances. It can't be much worse if I were to simply send in a blank sheet. There's almost nothing to say that isn't evident in the rest of my CV and transcript. I have no idea what my recommendations are like because I've waived my right to view them.

 

I may even just write as generically as possible:

• "I want to apply to do research professionally in the future. I'm pretty set on your particular program."
• "Here is the vague idea of the kind of research I want to do in a blanket statement."
• "Unevidenced assertions of my character and qualities as an advertisement of why you should take me."
• "Oh and by the way, I got kicked out of pharmacy school, but can't really go into too much detail except to blandly state the primary reason for this happening. I can't omit this either because I just sent you the transcript showing an abrupt end to my time in pharmacy."

 

Should I just resign myself to the mediocrity of that sort of statement of purpose? Because I have no idea where to take it from there.

Edited September 19, 2014 by BagiBadi

[Whisky-with-a-Y]

First off, relax. Life is short and there is no point losing your mind over the past. There are a number of horrible things happpening to great people everyday. Why lose your mind on something so small as school. For the SOP I would focus on the future.. I would spend a little bit discussing any circumstances and exactly what happened, the reasons why and how you have changed/imporved/matured. Focus on the future and how you want to excel and succeed. Also, is chemistry really what you want to do, or just a fall back plan because pharmacy school didnt work out? 5-6 years is a huge commitment, make sure you are actually ready for the step that you are planning on making. If I was reading an SOP with a situation like this I would worry about the seriousness of the student. Also, apply to schools within your reach. Not everyone needs to go to a top tier school, and I think you credentials have disqualified you from them anyway, no offense. But with your situation the SOP will be important, it is your chance to use your own words and let the school know everything. If you are looking for sympathy I cant help, and I dont believe anyone can here either. We all have our own situations to deal with. Let me give you a small heads up. Things can get very bad in life, much worse than a situation that will arise in school. Enjoy life, relax, dust your shirt off and stop with the pity party.

[BagiBadi]

I do have some range in biology and chemistry because of all that coursework going into pharmacy. I do want to have a broad competence throughout the sciences and have written as much justifying my interest in a graduate dual-track program. I really have no idea how selective this particular school is and wouldn't know how to judge such things. It's not especially recognizable as Ivy League or Top 100 if that's what you're wondering.

 

Ultimately, I got into pharmacy for the money but never wanted to spend my life filling prescriptions and cashing paychecks until I died. I could rather easily get certified as a pharmacy tech and reapply to another pharmacy school. But I'm too bitter about it to consider that appealing, although I think the money would probably be quite good. I could and will probably have to say that pharmacy was intended as a means-to-an-end.

 

And that gets to the heart of the matter.

Everything I could say about myself is cheap. It's not backed up by any kind of concrete evidence. So I can't do anything other than make a string of assertions. The only other alternative is to bore my audience with anecdotes.

Edited September 19, 2014 by BagiBadi

[Whisky-with-a-Y]

I wouldnt go the pharmacy route anymore. Even becoming a tech and trying again. If you were expelled from a pharmacy school I doubt anyone would take you back and obviously it isnt worth it. I actually got into chemistry with a desire to do pharmacy but after gen-chem I decided to stay. For my SOP's I really didnt focus solely on research and technical stuff (for the lack of a better term). Of course I discussed my research and why I enjoyed it, its challenges and yadda yadda. I wrote about my enjoyement and the need to continue my education. Nothing needs to be backed up with hard evidence. If you have done some research, which I hope you have, write about that and then move on. Side Note: If you havent started yet, get in a lab. Write about the passion, why you love it, why you feel graduate school is the write choice and why their school is the best option. Talk about prior issues, like I said, and all the reasons. This is your chance to let them know the true story, not just read an application that said you were expelled from pharmacy school, let them know the circumstances. I would apply to a few schools, maybe 5-6. Pick the ones with research that interests you and stay away from rankings. However, because of your past, I wouldnt aim for too high (sorry if that is rude, those schools just have very credible, smart students applying to them with outstanding resumes). I am confused about your "range" you speak of. I am assuming you are a chemistry student so you should have completed the same classes as everyone else has. If you would like, feel free to Private Message me. I dont understand why you cant write 2-3 pages highlighting your love for chemistry. You dont need to spend 2.5 out of the 3 on research or background or concrete evidence. You are trying to persuade them into thinking you are a great student. Why anecdotes? Just write from the heart. I have seen posts of people reading long research texts about how to write the proper SOP. That is crazy to me.

[bsharpe269]

Why do you want to do a phd in chemistry? If your friend were to ask you what you are passionate about related to chemsitry then what would your answer be? That answer is what makes you unique. You will have specific motivations and passions that are completely unique to you and then you have great grades and lab work that will support your qualifiations to pursue the passion. I would try to focus on that passion to get ideas flowing and write about that. It is perfectly acceptable to spend some of the SOP discussing a topic that has always fascinated you that you want to explore more or a specific class that you loved. You dont need something huge to set you apart. These are things that make you different.

[BagiBadi]

If I were capable of being offended I'll have beaten you to it by offending myself first with self-recrimination.
If I had better options, I wouldn't be here at all.

 

My problem still remains that the specific question that is stymieing me is: "What makes you think you'll succeed in the graduate program?" (Paraphrasing.)

So while I can write all day about how my father is a role model, that I enjoy an intellectual challenge, think highly of the role of science in society and so on - it doesn't really answer the question. Maybe I wasn't clear, but that's the sort of anecdote I want to avoid in the first place. Everybody writes that. I bet MD candidates write that they want to "help people." (A lot of them are lying anyway.) 

 

Oh I can say that I value critical thought. And if I were operating under ideal circumstances, I would show you a perfect example of how I used that to solve a problem.

I might say I'm curious. But again . . . can't think of a way to demonstrate it. Even anecdotally.

At best, I can think of maybe having used DosBox to get some archaic indexing program for chemical literature to work on a Windows OS. Does that exemplify a virtue? Because I have no idea. It's certainly not a measure of skill, since there are way better computer guys out there.

And regurgitating my CV is of no use. That's just bad writing.

Edited September 19, 2014 by BagiBadi

[bsharpe269]

Yes you are right.. those arent the things that you should be discussing though. Of course you are curious and and enjoy an intellectual challenge. That is not what makes you unique. Your specific interests do. What topics in chemistry fascinate you? What things do you want to consider doing your dissertation on. If you cant answer these questions then you should consider working as a researcher in a lab for a couple years before applying.

Edited September 19, 2014 by bsharpe269

[BagiBadi]

Yes you are right.. those arent the things that you should be discussing though. Of course you are curious and and enjoy an intellectual challenge. That is not what makes you unique. Your specific interests do. What topics in chemistry fascinate you? What things do you want to consider doing your dissertation on. If you cant answer these questions then you should consider working as a researcher in a lab for a couple years before applying.

 

Right, no problem, I have that part written up. I just haven't disclosed it because I am going through the farce of maintaining some privacy.