please evaluate my SOP

[indsy]

Hi All, 

 

Please if anyone can comment on the first draft of my SOP. I am was actually planning to do phd but taking a long route via MS due to lack of publications and research experience. 

My other details are: GRE 328(170Q/158V/3.AW), GPA 70.35% (top 10/15% from SGSITS Indore-2003 batch). 

 

I am looking forward for honest comments. 

 

 

" Dear Selection Committee Members,

I am writing to present my academic interests and preparedness for pursuing Master of Science (MS) studies at the XXX(institute). I am particularly interested in studying multi-body dynamics and dynamic simulations of large mechanical system in Nuclear and Robotics industry. I believe that a strong theoretical foundation gained during Master of Science studies would ease my way into doctoral studies and subsequent independent research, which is my prime objective of entering into academia after a professional career of over 10 years.

 

I decided to continue graduate studies with a specialization in multi-body dynamics while working on a recent project which was the development of rigid body dynamics model for seismic assessment of XXX Reactor core. The core consists of several graphite bricks which were modeled as rigid bodies and connected using nonlinear spring/damper pairs.  The core restraint structure was modeled using continuum elements. The problem becomes highly nonlinear due to intermittent contact between the fuel element and the bricks during the seismic event. The computational efforts are significant even with all the approximations used in modeling and the stress field is almost impossible to predict. Some of my team members are trying to build a model of the reactor core using XXX which uses psudo-rigid formulation to get approximate stress field but the success is still illusive due to sheer size of the problem.

 

 

I want to study the dynamics of such large scale system and develop efficient physical models and numerical tools for their dynamic assessment.  Prof XXX’s computation dynamics laboratory appears to carry out an extensive research in this field and given the opportunity, I would be very excited to work with him. I have read his paper “XXX_XXX” published at XXX(journal name) and realized the vast possibilities of applying the YYY algorithm to analyze such large structures where the reactor core is disassembled into smaller areas of approximately same response and then assembled to get the response of the whole core.

 

 

Although my primary research focus lies in the study of dynamics, I am competent to carry out independent work in the areas of finite element techniques and mechanical system design. I have used finite element analysis techniques to predict component behavior and failure under various static and dynamic loading conditions for nuclear and conventional power industry. While working with YYY(previous organisation) in ZZZ group, my responsibilities were designing small mechanical sensors and assemblies to increase the fuel safety during refueling operations in XXX Reactors .

 

 

I chose XXX(institute) because of its strong research in computational mechanics. The flexible nature of the studies to suit the interest of the student also attracts me. The combination of Mechanical and Nuclear Engineering in one department gives an opportunity to explore the possibilities of applying studied fundamentals within nuclear sector. 

 

 

Along with the practical exposure of dynamic simulations, finite element analysis and mechanical system design for radiation environment, I also bring along with me an invaluable experience of working in multidisciplinary and multicultural teams. I have made mistakes in some of the tasks assigned to me due to improper planning and understand that even though research problems are difficult to plan, a timely knowledge of bottlenecks saves a lot of money and energy. I plan to take an advanced level course in mathematics and numerical procedures in the first semester because my job nature didn't involve a lot of mathematics and it forms the basis of any engineering research.   

 

My professional career has also provided me with financial stability to invest my time and money in the education. However, funding my studies on my own means spending all the savings and taking a loan is a risk to my plans of doctoral studies. I therefore request the admission committee to kindly consider my application for a full or partial tuition fee waiver.  

 

I think that the nuclear industry is in a very exciting phase and there is a universal thrust on the development of new reactors and decommissioning. Dynamic modeling and simulation of complex structures save a lot of time and radiation exposure to people. I plan to make a career where I can apply advanced dynamics  to the assessment of such complicated systems, either as an independent researcher or in a professional environment.

 

I finally thank the selection committee for considering my application. I am looking forward to continue my advanced studies and research in your institute. "

 

Regards

[missiongradschool]

Will give you specific inputs about the Statement of Purpose tomorrow.However as a general guideline, following points must be included in any SOP, not necessarily in that order:

 

i) Why do you want to go for MS? What is it that you want to do that would need a MS degree and that cannot be done with a bachelor's degree?

 

ii) Which field in your major are you interested in and you would like to study in detail?

 

iii) Why are you interested in that particular field? Influence of good professor/book or whatever.The reason that created interest should be genuine and intimate to you.

 

iv) What efforts have you taken in that field?What makes you qualified to pursue higher studies in that field?

 

v) Why do you want to apply to this particular University?In what way this University will help you get what you want?

 

vi) What are your future plans?What do you want to do with a master's degree from this University?

 

 

So basic idea is that you know what you want, why you want it, what makes you capable to get that and also where you want to go after getting that. If your SOP can answer all these questions coherently, that is definitely a good SOP.

[indsy]

Hi, Thanks for your reply. 

 

My own response after reading your reply was:  

 

I didn't answer second part of first point,  didn't write about how I think I am well prepared and future plans are sort of messy. 

if anyone can suggest anything else, it will be a big help.