Yatish_1997 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I am applying for Automotive Engineering Undergrad program through the UCAS. ------ The thing that excites me about Engineering over pure Maths or Physics is that one can use this science to design and build machines which transform the way we live. Being an ardent fan of Formula 1, Automotive Engineering and Motorsport Engineering became natural options for me. After taking my interests and aptitude into consideration, I was convinced that I wanted to take up a career in Automotive Engineering. It was then that I decided to enter this branch of engineering and enter the vast world of automobiles. I was very lucky to be born in the city of Mumbai, the Financial Capital of India, the city which never sleeps. "If you are able to survive and adjust to the city’s circumstances then you can survive anywhere in the world". India may be poor in terms of money but it is rich in terms of humanity, respect and kindness. This is exactly what you feel when you visit Mumbai, it holds the distinction of being an education hub of South-East Asia. This place has helped me develop a favourable attitude towards a competitive world. I possess strong logical reasoning and problem solving skills which I believe are important for the field. In my vacations, I have also mentored and taught three year 9 pupils who were struggling in Mathematics and it gave me immense pleasure and satisfaction in doing so. I prefer to prioritize and plan my work effectively before starting anything. This helps in keeping me and my work organized so that nothing important is left out. By playing on my school’s football team I have learned to be able to work as part of a team and take responsibility when the time arrives. National Geographic channel's SUPER-CARS show became one of my many inspirations and taught me a lot of things about the chassis, breaking systems, electronics and other overall developments of cars. I have always stuck to my project deadlines and am often applauded for my presentations. Having done my whole education till Std.XII in English Medium only, I believe I will have no problem in understanding the courses taught in English. I chose UK because it is one of the most popular places to study in terms of higher education. Its automobile industry is ranked as one the best in the world which will give me a better exposure to the real automotive world. There is a lot of a support for international students in the UK. It has excellent academics, high values and lower costs as compared to other countries. My uncle residing in the UK is another reason I want to study in the beautiful country. And for the future path for me, I recall Alvin Toffler who says, “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Keeping this in mind, I would like to continue my learning process further in this field and make a mark in the industry. With an open mindset and a ready-to-accept challenge attitude, I am confident I will make a valuable and vibrant addition to your student body. I hope to become a part of your university which will give me a leading edge to work effectively in different situations. ----- All suggestions welcome.
Dedi Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I'm confused. Are you applying to an Undergrad program or a Grad program? If the former, I think you came to the wrong forum. If the latter, I'm not seeing much in terms of research interests. I know you want to do automotive engineering, but can you be a bit more specific? The quotes don't make sense in the given context. Your organization is very choppy and doesn't have a sense of direction. You seem to have a very shallow understanding in your topic of interest and about higher education (Undergrad or Grad). It does read like a high schooler wrote it. You're better off starting fresh. Get advice from your professors/teachers about how to write a SOP and get a native English speaker to proofread. This isn't about understanding English. It's about understanding how to communicate effectively in writing. (Yes, I know I'm sometimes harsh, but I'd rather nip the ineffective SOPs in the bud.)
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