Unusual 'analyze an argument' essay style?

[n655321]

Just started practicing for AWA, came up with this for the analysis portion. After looking at samples/other's work I realize it looks pretty weird, so I was wondering what you guys thought of it/what grade it'd get?

 

Cheers!

 

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Prompt :In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river's water and the river's smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is therefore sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year's budget to riverside recreational facilities.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Essay:

The argument in the passage is structured as follows:

 

Premise 1: In the past year, the late-night news has devoted more time to national news and less time to local news and weather

 

Premise 2: Most complaints in the past year have been about the local news and weather

 

Premise 3: Local businesses have recently withdrawn their advertising contracts with the late-night news.

 

Conclusion 1: Following from premises 1 and 2, in order to attract more viewers the time devoted to weather and local news should be restored.

 

Conclusion 2: Following from premises 1 and 3, in order to avoid losing further advertising revenues the time devoted to weather and local news should be restored.

 

The conclusions of this argument, though loosely based on its premises, would require a great deal of specific evidence in order to follow from them.

 

In order for conclusion 1 to follow from premises 1 and 2, it needs to be shown that viewers which have been calling in to complain over the past year have in fact been requesting more time to be spent on local news and weather and less time to be spent on national news. If this were found to be the case, conclusion 1 would follow from this evidence and premises 1 and 2.  However, if, for instance, viewers had greatly enjoyed the increased time spent on national news and were complaining that local news and weather were still included in the program at all, conclusion 1 would no longer follow from premises 1 and 2.

 

In order for conclusion 2 to follow from premises 1 and 3, two pieces of evidence need to be provided. 

First, it it must be shown that, if the station does not return the time to local news and weather, they are in danger of losing more contracts. If this is the case, conclusion 2 may follow from 1 and 3. However, if the local companies that retain advertising contracts with the station do not intended to annul these contracts unless the time is returned to local news and weather, it does not follow that returning the time would avoid losing further ad revenue.

 

Second, in order for conclusion 2 to follow from premises 1 and 3, it needs to be shown that, with the recent withdrawal of advertising contracts from local businesses overall advertising revenue has gone down. If this is the case, conclusion 2 may follow from premises 1 and 3. If it is not, however, conclusion 2 does not follow from premises 1 and 3. For instance, if the exodus of local advertising contracts has happened at the same time as an influx of lucrative non-local advertising contracts resulting in an overall increase in ad revenue and if these new contracts depend on the national news retaining the increased time allotted to it returning the time to local news and weather would not avoid losing any further advertising revenues.

 

Thus, in order for conclusion 2 to stand it must be shown both that the station would lose further local contracts if the time was not returned to local news and weather and that advertising revenues would, in fact, be lost as a result of this.