Can anyone take a look at my Statement of Purpose

[Texan_Air]

I really found writing this statement of purpose more difficult than I envisioned. Writing seems to be kryptonite even after reading a lot of examples on the internet. I'm applying to an engineering masters and I hope to finish this statement soon.

The length is okay at ~800 words but will have to re-write a 500 word for another program. Also I found it difficult writing this because all my research experience is varied in different fields as well as my work engineering experiences. I omitted my freshman robotics research (not as strong as the others anyways) and my engineering summer internship.

Any advice would be much welcomed.

 

 

Technology innovation in the aerospace industry has adapted and achieved so much that the endless possibilities ahead intrigue and entice me to contribute, as well as adapt with it. The creativity and concepts involved, motivates me to pursue further research in the aerospace field. My aspiration to transition into this field has driven me to pursue an extraordinary graduate program that will evolve my knowledge.

 

As a child growing up in the town of XXXX, a small XXX town of less than 8,000 population, dreams of even a technological profession were seen as delusions of grandeur. When my family moved to the suburbs of a city with a population of over a million, every aspect seemed daunting compared to the simple living of our previous ranch home. But even through numerous challenges, my determination to adapt have created me into the engineer I am today.

 

During the course of my mechanical engineering undergraduate study, I was exposed to various courses and research opportunities from robotics to alternative energy that helped engage my interest as a researcher. In my Alternative energy course and undergrad research, I contributed my first technical research paper on “An 80 MW Windfarm in a Location of West Texas”; that utilized a Rayleigh distribution using meteorological site data and incorporated it into a  program to optimize power output and rotor efficiency from varying rotor diameter, tower height, and rotor angular velocity. Even though I was in a mechanical engineering program, I always had an interest in propulsion and fluid dynamics, and I choose all the available related electives courses such as “Compressible Flow/Propulsion Systems” and my “Independent study” to explore the fields deeper. My independent study research paper in a numerical simulation of nanoparticle margination to endothelium cell wall in human blood capillaries introduced me to the advance challenge of unique components to fluid mechanics and of setting up my parameters and boundry conditions necessary for instituting CFD models. By the time I finished my undergraduate course work at XXXX University, I had acquired a strong foundation in the theoretical concepts behind mechanical engineering.

 

After graduation, I was offered a position as an engineering project manager at XXXX Company, in XXXX location, a company that manufacturers API 610 centrifugal pumps for oil and natural liquid gas companies. During my over two years there managing multiple projects, my engineering skills enhanced not only through basic pump theory, but through pressure vessel and rotating assembly design using theoretical calculations and computational 3D Cad Solidworks. My insatiable appetite for knowledge, got me further into my company’s research department researching new vertical closed impeller & casing hydraulic designs. As well as, predicting new hydraulic desired performances through pump affinity laws and Lobanoff’s correction factor for varied pump factors of impeller trim, number of stages (with low NPSH and double suction first stages), and customer liquid fluid characteristics. My proudest accomplishment was creating new suction hydraulic castings for the new submersible vertical product line that were core & molded and implemented in offshore rig pump projects.

 

I believe at this point in my life, that now is the right time for me to undertake a Master’s program because I have acquired all the basic knowledge necessary as well as the growth and maturity from working at the professional level to make the jump to the next level. My hope is that my pursuit toward a graduate program at University of XXXX in aerospace engineering will unlock a sector of aerodynamics knowledge to me, while allowing me to contribute my experiences to the fluid mechanics side. Your program has an interesting specialization on fluid mechanics and aerothermodynamics with impressive capabilities in computational aid methods. Study of flame turbulence modeling investigation in the XXXX Laboratory and course program fascinates me coming from a background that dealt with fluid turbulence.

 

Furthermore, I envision this program providing me with the invaluable analytical tools and guidance to shape and validate my mechanical designs using CFD correctly with the right parameters to simulate in field applications. XXXXX University’s reputation of excellence and combination of distinguished interdisciplinary faculty will be the next stepping stone I need in pursuing my aerospace engineering interests.

 

Altogether I am aware of the difficult challenge upcoming and commitment required, I can only smile. Not from fear, but due to trying to contain my aspiration of reinventing and adapting myself to the new technologies of the aerospace industry of tomorrow. I am confident that my knowledge foundation, determination, and aptitude will see me through the challenge ahead, and will contribute to my development as an adaptable professional engineer.

[Texan_Air]

Anyone got any comments? I don't know if it is very good, but my main goal is to make it sound at least fluid.

[awash_]

I wouldn't mind taking a look at it! I'll PM you later with edits. Would you mind taking a look at mine as well?

[Texan_Air]

Sure awash_! Do you want me to take a look at the exact one in your "This is basically the longest cover letter..." thread?

Thanks again