Please Critique my SOP for a Computer Science PhD

[Agrippa]

I am applying for PhD Computer Science programs and I was hoping someone would be willing to critique the first draft of my statement of purpose.

 

If you would like to do so, you can comment on this Google Doc of the draft or I can PM it to you.

 

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request!

[Agrippa]

First, let me say that i am extremely grateful and moved that people from this community would spend part of their valuable time to help out a complete stranger. It is enormously helpful to receive this kind of impartial feedback. Thank you so much! I will definitely dedicate some of my time to helping out others from this community in the future. I only wish that I could repay your kindness in a more substantial way.

 

Second, I considered the criticisms of my first draft and completed the second draft of my SOP, and I would be grateful if someone would look it over. As before, you can comment on this Google Doc of the draft or I can PM it to you.

 

Again, thank you for taking time to consider my request!

 

Also, is it possible to host a document permanently on Google Docs? I very much want other who come to this forum to see my mistakes, improvements, and criticisms so they can learn too, but they won't be able to see those if the links to the documents went down.

Edited December 3, 2014 by Agrippa