Functions, dispositions and normativity: Writing sample criticism

[asacollier]

Hey there,

     If anyone has any time at all, I really need some feedback on my writing sample. I am arguing that functions (in the sense discussed by Millikan, Wright, Cummins, etc.) are not dispositions. I'm freaking out a little bit right now, so any help I can get would put my mind at ease. 

Thanks so much,

Asa Collier

 

www.docdroid.net/lg56

 

ps: If anyone has any trouble with the link, let me know. I'm in China right now and the internet connection ain't so hot.

[Griswald]

Your intro needs work. First, it doesn't seem obvious to me that a hammer is disposed to drive nails. It seems more natural to me to say that a hammer's function is to drive nails. Since your essay intends to treat "dispositon" and "function" as technical terms you might not want to begin with unsupported, implausible assertions. Second, it's not clear from the first paragraph what your argument will be, and then the second paragraph begins very abruptly with "I proceed as follows." I think these sort of game plan paragraphs are nice for writing samples but they need to follow at least one paragraph that sets up the debate very clearly and lets the reader know the main thrust of the argument. Also, your second paragraph doesn't so much state the game plan as it makes more vague gestures at what the argument might be. Fix these two paragraphs and the essay will be much more engaging.