Please review/edit my Statement of Purpose (cell & mol bio + microbiology)

[user834]

I am applying to the "Cell and Molecular Biology" and the "Microbiology" program. I'm using this statement of purpose for both. Please review and provide feedback. Thanks!

I am coming from a background as a career software developer. Computers and technology definitely have changed the world, they continue to do so, and I enjoy much of the work. However, I feel that personally most of the bigger ideas that I'm strongly passionate about are in the biology area. If I want to pursue a research or industry interest in cutting edge biology, a graduate program is the minimum bar for entry.
 

I am aware of several obstacles to a biology career path. Competition for salaried biology work is fierce. There are more qualified graduates than salaried job openings. The salaried jobs that exist often involve undesirable supporting work that can be very frustrating to ambitious workers. Additionally, compensation levels are lower than other fields, and lower than what I make in my present software development role. Research funding is even more scarce and competing for grant based work is even more competitive and unlikely. Academic career tracks are the most competitive, are typically available for only the most elite academic superstars, and this specific route doesn't seem a realistic possibility for me.
 

Despite these obstacles, there are several reasons to pursue a biology career track. First, I suspect that if I am truly as passionate and skilled as I believe, it is realistic to develop a paying career that offers the subject matter, purpose, and engagement that I crave. Realistic opportunities do exist. Secondly, the market changes unpredictably. There is a good chance that the type of biology career opportunities that I'm interested in will boom and there is also the chance that the software careers opportunities I currently am involved in will bust. Additionally, there is the possibility that the biology skills add to or combine with the tech career that I already have. Finally, the learning and exploration process has a lot of value in itself beyond the jobs and grants that ultimately do or do not result. Based on the above, pursuing a biology track is a prudent move.
 

There are many technical areas that are exciting and of interest to me. Below, I list some of my personal brainstorm ideas to provide a snapshot of my interests which can help decide whether they are aligned with the goals and opportunities available in the graduate program I am applying to. I would caution that these are brainstorming ideas which tend to be on the idealistic and under developed side. My hope is that this graduate program would facilitate the ongoing process of developing new ideas and skills, exploring them, and developing those that show the most promise.

• Practical, commercial genetic modifications to microorganisms, livestock, or preventing health problems in humans. This involves understanding which genes do what and practical considerations of producing a specific product or treatment.
• Statistical, data, and computer approaches into developing understanding of genes and the proteins they produce. Which combinations of genes serve which purpose?     \item DNA sequencing technology that recognizes packing structure and molecular modifications in addition to the basic sequence data.
• Primordial germ cell culture for fertility applications. The idea of culturing fresh, healthy eggs and sperm from adult cells opens up many practical possibilities that seem under explored. This also seems to be relatively easier than more advanced tissue culture applications.
• Better health diagnostic tools for direct end consumer or patient use. Exploring personal genetic data and wearable sensors are two particularly interesting areas.

Skill wise, I would bring a variety of skills to the program. I have a very solid academic basis with my BME undergraduate degree including the the full pre-med requirements. My software career background provides additional unique advantages. First, I have a mountain of experience with building software applications. Most grad students can do basic programming, my skill goes beyond this. I can build more elaborate, complex systems, and I have experience with many of the practical considerations involved. Secondly, software development is tightly intertwined with the business side of technology. I have experience with a assortment of useful soft skills including leading teams, writing proposals, bidding projects, identifying profitable opportunities, avoiding high risk or low payoff projects, evaluating technologies, making build vs buy decisions, and contract negotiation. The combination of my technical skill set, my undergraduate academic record, and my industry experience and soft skills would make a valuable contribution to research endeavors or life science productization efforts.

 

 

[feelingsupersonic]

It seems in poor taste to list all of the negatives of a biomedical career in your statement of purpose.

Edited November 29, 2014 by feelingsupersonic

[jetvermillion]

your SOP tells me more about how you feel about career opportunities rather than what your goals are and how your experience is relevant to the program. you touch on some interests but you even openly call it "brain storming", which is also poor taste and word choice. brainstorm by concept means large quantity of ideas. even though you are semi specific in your list, the school still has no idea what you're interested in specifically. your first point and third point might refer to genetics, your second to computational biology, and your last to biosensors and medical devices. you are all over the place

 

also

 

 

My software career background provides additional unique advantages. First, I have a mountain of experience with building software applications. Most grad students can do basic programming, my skill goes beyond this. I can build more elaborate, complex systems, and I have experience with many of the practical considerations involved.

 

 

First, you are assuming grad students only know basic programming. Why? And hten you say you can build more elaborate systems. Such as? 

 

 

Secondly, software development is tightly intertwined with the business side of technology. I have experience with a assortment of useful soft skills including leading teams, writing proposals, bidding projects, identifying profitable opportunities, avoiding high risk or low payoff projects, evaluating technologies, making build vs buy decisions, and contract negotiation. The combination of my technical skill set, my undergraduate academic record, and my industry experience and soft skills would make a valuable contribution to research endeavors or life science productization efforts.

 

 

the way you write this is not in any way related to cell and molecular bio.

 

 

basically, your SOP lacks focus

Edited December 5, 2014 by jetvermillion

[Plissken]

Agree with the above comments. This SOP needs a total rewrite. An SOP for a biology graduate program is not a place to brainstorm or wax philosophic on the job market or your career prospects. It's a piece of writing that should be focused, clear, and concise. State your strengths, briefly address your weaknesses, then sharply and clearly discuss your specific research interests. And don't talk about what other graduate students have or don't have--talk about what you have.

Edited December 14, 2014 by Plissken