Advice on Potentially Changing Advisers

[3rdyear]

Hi all,

 

I've been an active participant on the forum for a few years now, but in order to post this question, I decided to create a totally new account so as to remain completely anonymous. I'm going to try to provide as much detail as possible without weighing everyone down.

 

The basic problem I'm dealing with is this: I am becoming more and more convinced that I will not finish my program unless I change advisers. However, there are a couple potential snags to doing that which I will detail a little bit below. The bottom line is that my adviser has been inappropriately condescending, emotionally abusive, and frankly unhelpful with my work up until this point. I am her third student at this institution, and the other two who are one and three years ahead of me both experienced what I'm going through now and are going through their own nightmares at the dissertation stage. Given this pattern, I don't think I can continue with her.

 

I'm a third year PhD student in a humanities discipline. Prior to beginning my program, I earned two master's degrees, the first in a different humanities discipline, the second in a closely related discipline to what I'm doing now. I had to write a thesis for the first MA, so I've dealt with advisers before. My thesis situation for my first MA was also laden with difficult adviser issues, but I was able to diplomatically solve them with the help of other faculty, keep my adviser, and finish the degree in two years without any visible problems and with that adviser's praise. I had figured up until this point that my current situation was similar. I have an adviser with a difficult personality (certainly not uncommon in academia) and would need to enlist the help of other faculty to reign it in a bit. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that's going to be possible.

 

Rather than give a narrative version of the events a la plaintiff on Judge Judy or something, I'll just list a few of the worst grievances. Sorry for the length. Any one of these things alone wouldn't necessarily warrant changing advisers, but I think the whole picture does. Just to preface this really quick, prior to these things I had had terse, strange, and/or "tough" interactions with her in which she was quite critical and condescending, but I didn't take them personally. There are a lot more little things I could add to this list. But it wasn't until this year that things got much much stronger/worse.

 

1) In a one-on-one meeting in March regarding my second exam, she told me I was not working hard enough (2 hours of writing a day, 4 hours of reading, plus I was taking one last seminar this term for a grade at her request.) She asked me directly if I was having "mental health problems." She told me I needed to either take a medical leave of absence, get help for the problems, or risk going on academic probation. (To be clear, she couldn't do that alone; it would take me either failing the exam twice or not finishing these next two exams before the end of August AND it would be up to the entire faculty of my department, not just her.)

 

2) She has told me that my wife and I should not plan to have a child before I'm done. We're both in our early 30s, so... there's no way I'm listening to her on that. She's made it clear to me, however, that she expects that I put my PhD work ahead of my family.

 

3) I cannot figure out how to read her criticisms of my work. For my second exam, she wants me to write a 4-5 page rationale that frames my questions. I have written five drafts so far. The first two she thought were awful and for the same reasons (all stylistic), even though in the revisions between them I made the changes she asked for. She thought the third was excellent work, even though I didn't make that many changes because the major things had already been changed in the second draft. She was hung up on the fact that I was beginning sentences with parenthetical phrases (According to... If we consider..., etc.) and talking about ideas as having agency, i.e. "The concept of X had a great effect upon _____." None of her comments were (or ever are) about the content of the writing. They are always about style, and in her mind, my stylistic "problems" make the content "incomprehensible." In our meeting about the third draft, she told me we could move on to working on the questions in the next meeting, that I just needed to tweak a couple things in the rationale. Yet in the next meeting, she told me the rationale was terrible and "incomprehensible"--the exact same writing she had just approved the week before. We went line by line, her asking me to reformulate each sentence on the fly--simple sentences because she doesn't like the use of semi-colons, conjunctive adverbs, prepositional phrases, or parentheticals. What else is left?? When sentences are that simple, there is no way to change them except to make them more complex. And so, her suggestions in that meeting began to contradict everything she had asked me to change in the previous meetings.

 

4) This "flip flopping" has precedent. Her most advanced student shared with me and the other advanced student this month that our adviser told her she needed to start over on her dissertation after 18 months and 175 pages because our adviser thought her diss should be addressing contemporary issue X in our field, which she had never mentioned to her before (her diss is on a 19th century figure.) She met with our chair and DGS and they decided together that she needed to at least compromise and write a new intro and conclusion "reframing" the diss to try and meet her in the middle. She spent weeks reading new material and crafting about 15 pages as the start of a new intro. When she sent it to her for review, our adviser replied, "Why are you wasting your time with this? Focus on your original topic please, and figure our what the problem is you're addressing and what your actual argument is." My colleague emailed her back asking for clarification, reminding her about the previous conversation. Her reply? "It's your dissertation. I can't tell you what to do." She got confirmation from her via email one more time (so it's in writing) that she was [at least ostensibly] taking her hands off the wheel, but she's not confident that she won't change her mind again in a few months (or weeks).

 

There's much more that I could add, but this post is already getting too long. An obvious question at this point is probably, "Why don't you just confront her directly about these things when she brings them up?" I should, absolutely, and if these issues with writing persist, effectively stonewalling me from moving forward with this exam, I'm going to have to be more forceful. I've tried to be humble and respectful in all my dealings with her, and I'm afraid it's only made her more irrationally assertive because I've come across as weak. I know that I can still be respectful and assertive, and in my future meetings, I'm going to be. These examples hopefully demonstrate that irrationality. My primary concern is not just that she's a difficult personality but that her irrational mind changes are going to negatively affect my ability to actually write my dissertation and get it approved (not to mention the effect that her emotional abuse could have on me and my family.) My colleague who is trying to finish his dissertation has a "nuclear option" in place in which the department will allow him to cut all ties with our adviser and find someone who will sign off on a completed dissertation. 

 

The two students ahead of me are not dependent upon a job when they finish because their spouses have excellent full time jobs. The more advanced student would like to remain in academia if possible, but she's not confident at this point that our adviser will even produce a good letter for her. The other student has decided, mostly because of the abuse from our adviser, that he is not going to pursue academia once he's done. He wants to finish, but he's decided to move on to something else. He hasn't told our adviser yet and probably won't until the fall term.

 

My thinking is that I should make the change now so that three years from now I'm not in my sixth year wondering if there was something I could've done to prevent my own horrible situation from happening. There is another professor in a different humanities department (who is chairing my third exam) who could reasonably advise my dissertation, which is basically half his area of expertise and half my adviser's area. I've spoken briefly with the chair of the department about this, who said they would just need to extend him a courtesy appointment in our department and he could advise and chair my diss officially. I've done coursework with him, he helped me write my second year qualifying paper (which was in his area), and my interactions with him regarding my third exam have been nothing but professional, fruitfully challenging, and encouraging. 

 

Here are the two drawbacks: (1) This professor is not tenured. He has been an assistant professor for 5 or 6 years at my institution, so I'm not sure where he is in the process. I don't know if he's ever advised a PhD student officially, even in his own department. I'm worried about that affecting my job prospects. Related to job prospects is (2) the fact that, even with a courtesy appointment in my department, this isn't his primary field (though he has a related secondary interest.) My broader discipline is extremely interdisciplinary. We do have faculty with PhDs in disciplines other than our department's. But the chair did warn me that my diss would have to be clearly our field and not his. I have no problem with that, think I can do it, and I know he wouldn't either, but I just want to make sure that doesn't immediately send up a red flag for anyone. (I feel comfortable saying, for clarity, that my discipline is not philosophy, if that weren't already clear.)

 

The other option, though I think actually less desirable, is to have the current chair of the department advise me. Happily (or maybe unfortunately?) she and my adviser are the only two faculty in my department who specialize in my specific field within the broader discipline. But my adviser even more specifically covers my time period and figures, whereas the chair does not. Because they are the only two, naturally, they don't get along very well. The chair is well aware of all the issues between my adviser and her students. It is deeply concerning to her. But there are obviously department politics to consider, and she and I both know that if I switched to her, my adviser would know why immediately.

 

I'm hoping that as I work with this professor on my third exam, I will be able to present the switch this summer to my current adviser as something that has grown naturally out of my working with this prof because I feel that the dissertation is going to lean more toward his side of things, thereby suggesting that she still be on my committee once it's formed officially. I have literally no clue how she will respond. Interestingly enough, she did say to me about year ago, as I was working with this prof on my qualifying paper, that I could switch to him as my primary adviser if I wanted (though that wasn't technically true.) I was a little surprised, and honestly a bit offended, because I thought I'd made it clear that I was interested in what she was doing and wanted her to advise me. Given her history of forgetting things she's told me and changing her mind erratically, there's no telling if that idea is even on her radar anymore. 

 

Really sorry for the excruciatingly long post. If anyone out there has made a change like this, had similar experiences, etc., I'd love to hear from you.

[happy little pill]

I don't even know how to advise in this situation, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I am incredibly sorry that you are going through this. Also, a big middle finger to this woman for thinking that she can somehow control your decisions about your family and for suggesting that you have mental health issues when it sounds like she hasn't really made much of an effort to get to know you as a person/know about your life except where it suits her. It sounds like any mental health issues that might crop up in your life would be in large part due to her anyways.

 

What you suggested in your last paragraph though definitely sounds like the most strategic approach that would probably ruffle her feathers the least. The tenure question is not something to be taken lightly, though - is there some way that you could work with your Chair on a project since they are roughly in the same area, as you've said, and consider making the switch after that point and claim that it's on methodological grounds rather than on time periods? 

[Taeyers]

It's really difficult to offer detailed advice to someone in a humanities discipline from the perspective of someone in a lab science, so I won't comment much on the alternatives, but I would definitely get away from your current advisor. She sounds like a perfect example of a reason why so many PhD students fail to finish dissertations or stay in PhD programs for way too long. I'd find some way to establish a more supportive and stable working relationship with an advisor, whoever it has to be. Again, I'm not in the humanities, but faced with a heinous adviser like yours, I would sooner shift to a different but related subfield in order to work with someone else than try to stuck it out for the next who-knows-how-many years at the expense of happiness and sanity. I'm so glad that I've never experienced this type of behavior, and I always hope that people in your position know that the complete opposite is also possible. In fact, many advisors are not fire-and-sulfur-breathing dragons. Good luck to you. 

[3rdyear]

Thanks to both of you for taking the time. Sometimes it's really helpful to hear from someone who understands the general politics of these relationships but is totally outside the specific situation to be able to look at it and say, "No, that's not normal." I think as academics it can be easy to mistake enduring challenges and working hard for actual abusive situations. There had been part of me that just didn't want to give up on my adviser because it felt in some way like I was quitting rather than working harder, even though I know that nothing I do will please her. It's good to know that my sense that this relationship is really bad is probably right. Thanks again.

[TakeruK]

This is not a healthy relationship! I just want to say that I am sorry to hear this situation and I think you have a good plan to switch. Before you go further though, I would recommend talking to your potential new advisor about this and see what they have to say. It's good that you have talked to the dept chair but you also need the new advisor to be 100% on board!!

 

Also, switching advisors is not a rare thing in grad school (at least not in my field!). My school's graduate office helps facilitate these transitions, maybe yours can do the same? Our Dean will get personally involved (but we're a really small school where everyone knows everyone so it's easy to navigate these relationships). My Graduate Office tells us that they help with a large number of transitions like this and it's not a big deal or even a bad thing (i.e. it's not like you are doomed to fail if you can't make the first relationship work).

 

Finally, my only concern about the new professor is that you say he is 5-6 years on the tenure track. In my field, this means he would be up for tenure review like, next year. I think you should talk to him about this and find out whether tenure is basically a sure-thing at your school (it is at mine) or if there's a chance he won't get it. Or, sometimes professors end up leaving the school for other reasons--it's important to talk to the new prof now and see if switching is a viable plan.

[3rdyear]

Thanks, TakeruK. All very good advice. I think if things got really messy with a transition, that someone from the graduate school (an administrator) would probably step in. I'm confident though that I have the backing of the chair and DGS and probably other faculty too if they tried to solve the problem internally, which I think they'd try first assuming things got to that level--I'm hoping they don't!

 

I also have been thinking about those potential snags with the new prof. I have another meeting with my chair today, and I'm going to make it clear that I want to make the change. That way she begin the process of extending him a courtesy appointment in our department and we can establish a good timeline for talking to him, bringing him on board if it is going to work out given the cautions you rightly note, and then breaking the news to my adviser. 

[ZeChocMoose]

I will echo the chorus and say that this behavior is not normal and you need to get out - like yesterday!  Is there a possibility of a co-chair with the ass't professor and dept chair?  To me that seems like it could be a good solution just in case the ass't professor doesn't get tenure and then you will also have the network/political power of the dept chair.  This assumes that they would work well together because if not yea, just pick one.

 

I would not leave your old chair on your committee though (I think you wrote that somewhere but I can't seem to find it).  That seems like a recipe for disaster especially given her prior behavior and I would worry that she would sink your chances and make your life more hellish.

 

Not at all the same situation by a long shot, but I also had to make the awkward decision of switching midstream to a new research team after my third year.  I knew I needed to get out and I knew I was unhappy, but I didn't want to deal with the politics of making the switch and ruffling feathers. Well let me tell you, I am *so* happy that I did because it was definitely worth it and I am much more productive and happy on my new team.

Edited April 3, 2015 by ZeChocMoose