Lunch invitation (Interview?) with POI

[trulytriaxial]

So, one of the POIs I've contacted for a PhD asked me if I would be able to meet him in person. Since I would be in town for a conference, I agreed to meet him. Looks like I'll be having lunch with his research group. Is this an interview? What can I do to provide a good 'first impression' considering I'm an introvert and have massive social anxiety? What kind of questions should I be prepared for and what should I be asking? Should I be carrying any documents-CV etc.?

[Jay's Brain]

If the lunch will be with his entire research group, I don't think it will be an actual interview per se. Perhaps you will be meeting with him one-on-one before or after the lunch? Did he make any mentions of that?

When I went through my graduate application process that's what happened to me too. I had a meeting with the POI and shortly after was invited for a dinner with him and his research group (albeit with two other applicants). We spent the evening talking about everything BESIDES research, including our own interests outside of school, personal hobbies, etc. Sometimes the questions were directed at us, I guess for him to learn more about us, or sometimes as a response to someone else at the table. Needless to say, I was on the edge of my seat the entire meal. However, it was still an absolutely awesome experience getting to catch snippets about the other people in the lab and get to see how they get along. 

I suspect that something similar may happen to you. I think you should clarify if you'll be meeting with him before or after, and that's when you should be dishing out your CV. During the lunch, just be as polite and genuine as possible, and answer the questions that are posed to you as well as you can. This may be a chance for him and his group to see if you're a good fit for their lab culture, but also a way for you to figure out the same. In this situation, there's no way around it. You will just have to answer as well as you can. Remember, though, nobody knows you better than yourself!

Good luck!

[trulytriaxial]

Thank you. I haven't been informed of any individual meet just yet but he said he'll give me the exact time, location etc a few days before the date. Should I offer to pay for myself or is it assumed that he would? As an international student, I'm not sure what would be appropriate in the US. Sorry if my question is too silly but I want to cover as much base as possible and I genuinely don't know what to do.

[GeoDUDE!]

Assume you will pay, let him pay for you if he offers.

[TakeruK]

The custom in North America is to not make a big deal out of paying. So, it would sound weird if you had a discussion about paying for the meal before it is time to pay.

 

In many eating places (e.g. cafeterias, fast food, fast/casual), each person gets their food and pays for it and then sits down. In this case, as GeoDUDE! says, just be prepared to pay when it's your turn to come to the counter. If the prof wants to pay for you, they will ask the cashier to charge it to their bill instead. 

 

In restaurant/sit-down places, the bill comes after the meal and the server will generally ask the table if there will be separate checks or all the food will be on one big check (some places will not give the split check option though). Let the professor or whoever is in charge answer that question. If it's separate, then you'll get your own bill to pay. If it's all on one big check, then when the check arrives, what normally happens is either: the professor will say they will pay for everyone, or the bill is passed around the table and each person figures out how much they owe and puts that money down (don't forget tax and tip). 

 

In any case, as GeoDUDE! suggests, just assume you will pay unless the professor offers to pay. It's customary to not mention paying in conversation at all. 

 

Sorry if this was over-explaining, since you mentioned that you were worried about different customs since you are international, I thought I might cover the most common scenarios