Please grade my issue and argument essays?

[andreafranco]

Hi! This is my first attempt at both the issue and argument essays. Please grade and give me feedback on what I can do to improve. I timed myself to make sure I did them in 30 minutes. I know the issue essay is a mess, I had a difficult time picking a side--that's probably evident in the essay. Please let me know what I can do to improve, I know there's a lot...

 

Issue:

The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

A strong and independent person should not be based on the luxuries and conveniences that are immediately available to them. These people are molded by their experiences and the way in which they are brought up. In psychology, a long running argument that exists is the idea of nurture versus nature—whether a person’s being is based on the way they were brought up (from their experiences as a child), nurture, or it is innate and based on our genetics, nature. There are a variety of studies that support either argument and most people just prefer to agree that it is a 50-50 balance. If so, then a strong and independent person does not come about because of the luxuries that they have in their life but it is because of their character and the way in which they were brought up.

While a plethora of benefits exist thanks to the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life, there are also cons to these luxuries that do, some would say, prevent us from being able to develop into strong and independent people. For example, before the time when one could simply enter the address they were looking for onto their phone, one would have to track their route on an actual paper map and figure out the best way route themselves. Ask people today, and most will not even know how to figure out the proper way to look at the map. Say one were to take away someone’s phones, tablets, computers, etc. and leave them in a place they have never been and told them to figure out how to get back home with just a map and a compass, most people would fail.

These luxuries and convenient for a variety of reasons, such as making communication with people who are far away easier and making anything we need available just on our phone, but the strong and independent people are not based on the luxuries and conveniences available, they come about based on their character and the way in which they were raised.

 

Argument:

Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

 

In order to properly evaluate the argument that Omega University should terminate the student evaluation of professors, specific evidence that validates the argument must be given. One such piece of evidence would be information that identifies the numbers of graduates from Omega University and the number of graduates from Alpha University. Accompanying this information would be the student grade average for each University. The addition of this piece of evidence would strength the argument if the evidence shows that the number of graduates from Omega University and Alpha University are approximately equal and that the students from Omega University have a higher grade average than the students from Alpha University.

Another piece of evidence needed in order to evaluate the argument is the course work and the most popular areas of study for each University. If Alpha University requires their students to take a class that teaches them how to find a job, how to behave in a job interview, etc. while Omega University does not then this would also strengthen the argument. Additionally, information must be provided about the most popular areas of study for each University as the area of study is important in determining the type of job the student obtains after graduation. For example, if the most popular major in Alpha University is Business and the University is located in a place where there are a lot of opportunities for Business majors then it will be easier for those students to get a job than for the students from Omega University. Additionally, say most students in Omega University chose to pursue a higher degree such as going to Medical or Law school, this would also explain why more students from Alpha University are securing jobs—because there are more of students looking for jobs. In this case, this piece of evidence would weaken the argument. Similar to this, plans after college should also be assessed in order to compare the number of students from Alpha University and the number of students from Omega University that will be looking for a job after college versus those who will be going on to pursue higher education.

An additional piece of evidence that would augment the argument would be information regarding the Professor evaluation. If the Professor evaluation were based on the grade the Professor assigns and then those Professors that assign the highest grades would have the best evaluations. This type of evidence would support the argument that Omega University should terminate the student evaluation of professors.

 

 

 

Thank you!!!