My first essay for GRE - rating please

[lyannat62]

Please see my first ever Issue essay I've written in preparation for the GRE. I would really appreciate it if someone could give me a few comments on it. 

Claim: It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.

 

Reason: The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

 

Modern day media’s consumers are hungry for information relating to the failings of famous people. As the media caters to the wants of these people, the private lives of ordinary humans have come under scrutiny and their faults, ravenously consumed.

 

If the proliferation of gossip sites and tabloid magazines, gleefully printing pictures of the red-rimmed eyes of an underage celebrity recovering from a wild party or just plain rumours based on concocted lies are anything to go by, society has come to a point where the consumption of other people’s lapses in judgement has become part and parcel of everyday life. During election campaigns especially, it is not uncommon to find a leaked video or a story about a candidate running for office is released anonymously, often by a rival candidate in the hopes of getting ahead in popularity. Therefore, our nation’s leaders themselves are elected into office while the air is thick with calumny. The late Princess Diana, mother to the heirs of the British throne became infamous in the media, first for her high profile wedding and fashion sense but later on for her own indiscretions. The public were ever so eager to read about her fall from grace even though she was previously predominantly admired. is not surprise then that the people follow suit and expect it everyday with celebrities of any kind in the entertainment industry as well as politics.

 

However, it is less common that we find persons engaged in philanthropic pursuits as a primary part of their work, targeted by the media.  For example, Nelson Mandela who campaigned successfully for the repealment of Apartheid laws in South Africa, was never attacked by the media. Bill Gates however for all his efforts in educating rural Africa was still put down by the media for cheating on his spouse. The claim therefore does not hold true in all cases.

 

Another category of famous people that the media does not attack are those with a rags to riches story. Kate Middleton, current Duchess of Cambridge is a prime example. Born into a middle class family and marrying up into a royal family, she has become a figure that many girls aspire to. It must be said, however that the media is more likely to turn on someone who gives them cause to have their reputatations diminished. Surely, these heroes are also human beings who cannot always maintain the high standards of moral and social discipline that the public expects of them. Even then whose to say that these news outlets woud not publish pure rumours on a slow news day?

 

In conclusion, while the claim that it is impossible for society to regard anyone as a hero is true in some cases, such as in politics or the entertainment industry, it is not applicable to every situation where there are heroes, particularly those involved in humanitarian efforts and those whose fame is a result of going through adverse circumstances in life.

 

[lyannat62]

My essay for Analyse an Argument:

 

The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.  

 

"Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in the magazine. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog Pet Stores is based in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."

 

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

 

 

The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that an increase in ads placed in a magazine would increase sales at Top Dog Pet Stores.

 

It is impossible to tell if the rise in sales that Fish Emporium experienced was purely as a result of ads. It could have been that this was only one part of a larger marketing plan with sales discounts, promotions and advertisements placed on the radio, TV and so on. There could have been better staff training, more efficient management or even just a change in accounting principles that saw a larger percentage of sales being reported over that period. Had the argument provided more information on these other factors about Fish Emporium, the argument would have better standing. Even then, the argument would have to prove further that this was the sole reason for the increase in sales.

The argument also leaves many unanswered questions. Even if Top Dog Pet Stores did place ads in Exotic Pets Monthly, there is no guarantee that dogs are what Gulf City residents are looking for in pets. The title Exotic Pets Monthly, suggests that its market are people looking for exotic pets. It is unclear if Top Dog Pet Stores stocks any canines of the exotic variety which is more in line with the preferences of Exotic Pets Monthly’s readership. Even if Top Dog did have exotic pets, we are not told if the people of Gulf City so well off that they have the time and space for maintaining a dog rather than a relatively low maintenance pet like a fish.

 

Finally, the ads by Fish Emporium was more than 5 years old. The economy could have been better off which meant more people were willing to make big purchases such as for pets. In the current environment however, this is very much in doubt.  Moreover, it is also likely that people’s tastes have changed significantly since then. The print media has been overtaken by online publications. As a result, a better outcome could be achieved by advertising online and making use of social media.

 

Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that advertising could indeed increase sales revenue and profit as a result. More information needs to be provided, especially on the preferences of Gulf City residents in pets, their willingness to spend on one and Fish Emporium’s wider management activities leading up to the sales increase 5 years ago.

[lyannat62]

Another Argument Essay I wrote today:

The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.

"Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

 

The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that a lack of customer complaints means  that customers are not unhappy about the change from butter to margarine. This therefore renders it main conclusion, that customers do not know the difference between butter and margarine or that they are indifferent, null and void.

 

The argument fails to give information about the way complaints were gathered. If only 2% had complained,  and the Pancake House had 1 million customers in the American South West, this is a significant 20,000 complaints. If only a quarter of the complainants were to give the Pancake House a bad review online, this would mean a severe blow to its reputation. Moreover, in any service, not all unhappy customers actually take the time out to lodge a complaint especially if the establsihment were ill equipped to receive them. There is no mention of a survey conducted. It would simply be that the customers had decided to go elsewhere where they do serve pancakes with real butter.

 

The argument does not tell us about the preferences of the customers. It is unclear if customers do in fact order pancakes with butter. It is possible that they prefer other condiments such as maple syrup or fruity flavours. The American Southwest includes California where people are known to lead healthy lifestyles. This important difference could explain the reason that there were so few complaints. Had the argumenr provided information regarding Pancake House’s popular menu items, this would be a better argument. Even so it is a bit of a stretch to say customers do not know the difference between margarine and better or are not bothered by it.

 

Finally the argument claims without warrant that customers were unaware of the switch from butter to margarine. If we were to take California’s fitness obsessed customers, they are likely to become increasingly aware of research that points to the  harmful effects on the body of margarine which it is said, is manufactured using the same process as for soap. So even if we assume that people are impartial to butter, it may not be so in the near future.

 

In conclusion, because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that the switch from butter to margarine has not had any major impact on its customers or that customers do not know the difference between the two. 

 

[lyannat62]

An Issue Essay I wrote today. I'm a little bit iffy on this one. :(

It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

In the main, we are defined by the different social group we identify with.

[Vince Kotchian GRE Prep]

hey Lynne,

just a quick comment on your first issue essay: take a look at it again and see if you think a reader would agree that you answered the specific question being asked. You're a good writer but I don't think you directly responded to the task directions for that assignment.