Please score my GRE practice essays - thank you!

[bookworm1]

I took my first GRE practice test yesterday and would like someone to give me their honest opinion!

Analyze an issue: 

The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Essay: 

    While there are various teaching and learning styles, it is naive and simplistic to assume that the best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative actions. A teacher, be it a coach, professor or other leadership figure, has a duty to encourage his ward to improve, and this is impossible if negative actions or errors are brushed aside. A mixture of positive reinforcement and constructive comments that do not ignore errors but encourage growth is the best teaching method.
    If the teacher chooses to ignore negative actions and solely focuses on praising positive accomplishments, then he is disregarding half of the student's performance. It is true that praise is an excellent motivator for creating habits out of those positive actions; however, a student cannot learn from his mistakes if they are not brought to his attention. Correcting errors is a major component of the learning process, so if these errors are ignored by a teacher, then the student is unable to truly learn. In some cases, it is essential that negative actions are brought to the student's attention because he might not realize they are occurring. For example, a coach is watching his athlete swim laps at practice. He notices that there is a slight error in the swimmer's stroke - perhaps his arms are not in the correct position - but his kick is excellent. In praising the swimmer's kick, the coach is providing positive feedback for a job well done, which is half of the teaching process. He is doing his swimmer a disservice when he does not provide feedback to correct the swimmer's arms. Only by bringing this error to the swimmer's attention and working to fix it can the swimmer learn and improve.
    If positive praise is essential and ignoring negative actions is abhorrent, then teachers should seek out balance between the two. Focusing only on negative actions, even with the intention of correcting a problem, is not beneficial because it can lead to a disheartened student. Say, for example, an elementary school teacher is grading his student's rudimentary essays. If the teacher chooses to provide feedback only regarding errors, a young student might be extremely discouraged to receive an essay back covered in red pen. The best method is to find a moderate position between praise and constructive criticism that will result in the best learning process for the student. Perhaps this teacher should have marked down a few of the spelling and grammatical errors while praising the student for the essay's excellent organization. In this way a teacher can encourage the student while still focusing his attention on what do to better. 
    Providing both kinds of feedback will let the student know he is doing a good job and he has support while he works to improve. While this mix of praise and correction may vary depending on the context, age of the student, field of study, the student's learning style, and more, at its core it is the best way to provide instruction.

 

Analyze an argument:

The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.

Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Essay:

    Dr. Karp argues that his observations centered around interviews of the children of Tertia prove Dr. Field's previous study is invalid and his conclusion that the children were raised by an entire village rather than solely their biological parents is false as well. However, Karp presents a rather simplistic argument which needs more details to present a compelling case against the previous observations. Adding evidence, such as details about how his study was carried out, could strengthen his argument, although the evidence, if not strong, would reveal the holes in his conclusions.
    Karp is convinced his interview-centered approach is superior to Field's previous observation-centered method. He does not provide any details to support this claim other than the realization that his findings were different than Field's. The reader's only insight into the interview is Karp mentioning the children "spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village," with no supporting details. In research, methods are crucial to findings, so supporting details in how Karp's research was carried out would be beneficial to the reader. Had Karp provided examples of questions asked in his interviews, the reader would be able to more accurately judge if his interviews were skewed or biased; if these questions were straightforward and true, then they could only strengthen his argument. 
    When talking about his interview tactics, Karp could also provide specific examples of answers the children gave. He mentions that the children he observed talked more about their biological parents: On average, how much time specifically did they talk about their biological parents compared to other adults, and in what way? Answering questions like these would give the reader insight into his methods and provide a stronger argument. As the paragraph reads now, it is impossible to draw conclusions. The reader might even cynically assume that to achieve these results, Karp specifically asked more questions about the children's biological parents and fewer questions about other adults in the village. Specific data, if it does not originate from biased questions, can strengthen Karp's argument.
    His argument might be improved further by mentioning changes on the island. Twenty years have passed since Field's initial study and Karp makes no mention as to how the island and its people have changed. It is almost unheard of for a place and its inhabitants to remain completely unchanged for two decades. These changes, such as the introduction of technology, might account for some of Karp's findings. For example, if the children of Tertia obtained mobile phones to keep in touch with their parents while they are in the village, they might be inclined to talk about their parents more often. Providing background information into the changes that occurred in the time between Field's and Karp's studies would give the reader context and strengthen Karp's findings by showing it to be a more modern, current study.
    Karp claims to disprove Field's earlier study of the children of Tertia; however, he seriously lacks the details and background information to mount a convincing argument. Providing his research methods, specific data and findings, and context, given they do not hint at an ulterior motive, can only strengthen his argument that Field's studies are untrue and the children of Tertia are raised more by their biological parents than previously believed.

 

Thank you!!

[Vince Kotchian GRE Prep]

I'd give your issue essay a 4 and your argument a 5, so 4.5.

For your issue, try addressing the counterargument first, then provide your argument. For example, explain the reasoning of someone who does believe that statement. This will give your response more context and weight.