Please critique my SOP

[santushet]

I would appreciate any feedback on my SOP for an application to a Computer Science Masters program in University of Bonn.  Please provide your feedback.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

My interest in Mathematics goes back to the time I was at school. I remember an incident when I was in fourth standard. In the beginning days of my schools I was poor in Mathematics. My elder brother who was studying in the same school and he was very brilliant in Mathematics. My teacher used to punish and insult me because of my inability to do maths homework by comparing me with my brother. I took it as a challenge and worked hard by spending more time on Mathematics to overcome my weakness. As a result, I stood top in Mathematics subject in the final exam. This interest has only grown through my years in school and high school, as I have learnt more and more about the subject. My bent towards Mathematics and analytical skills has impelled me to choose Mathematics, physics and chemistry as my major at my 10+2. A rank in the top 5% among the students who took CET(screening test for getting into professional courses) helped me to get into the bachelor program in "Computer Science" from the National Institute of engineering (one of the reputed college in our state).A well-structured and comprehensive curriculum here, along with an experienced faculty, has given me a broad prospective and better understanding to the fundamentals of core Computer Science subjects viz., Computer Organization, Operating Systems, Database Management Systems, Computer Networks, Data Structures, Object Oriented Programming, Design and analysis of Algorithms, Computer Graphics, Software Engineering etc. My course projects have given me plenty of experience in programming using various programming languages, software packages and operating systems. My undergraduate final year project was on a pattern recognition system that recognize a person based on a feature vector derived from a specific physiological characteristic that the person possesses. Over the course of my undergraduate program, I always enjoyed the practical aspects of my studies, and that is one of the reasons why my marks in lab exercises, practical examinations and projects averaged 85th percentile of my school on the other hand received average marks in theory subjects.

I have participated in various extracurricular activities in and outside the college. I was an active member of the "Linux Campus Club"(student club of computer science Dept) played an active role in organizing programming contests and seminars. Additionally, I was volunteer of an NGO called "Divya Deepa Charitable Trust" established in Mysore, India which runs schools for opportunity deprived children. My volunteer tasks involved fund raising and taking informal teaching at the school.

During the final year of my undergraduate, I received an internship opportunity at Symphony Teleca to work on their products. At the end of my internship, I was offered to join the Symphony core R&D team. While working at Symphony, I learned various aspects of building large and scalable systems, protocols and algorithms for complex tasks and managing heterogeneous infrastructure. My job duties were to develop new features based on product needs and fix bugs in the product reported by customer.  Along with that my role involved mentoring new members which I found to be very rewarding(something I would like to pursue further along academic lines). During my stay at symphony I got the opportunity to work with client in Belgium for one year. Working directly with clients helped to enhance skills such as leadership qualities, taking more responsibility, solving complex problems independently and cultural sensitivity.Although my employment of five years with the Symphony Teleca has taught me many valuable skills, I find the work to be non-challenging and devoid of ideas. It pains me to leave the security of a good job and many close friends to go back to school, but, I am very committed to my career goals. 

I feel that graduate school is a chance for intellectual growth. I also believe that it facilitates intellectual stimulation and cognitive development. Also my passion to strive for excellence made me leaner and seeker of knowledge. My willingness to place a value on acquiring knowledge made me quit my job and pursue for masters.  I feel that dedicated research is the only way to gain in-depth knowledge of a subject. Graduate study provides the perfect environment to pursue research and thus gain a better perspective of the subject. Also it is an opportunity to associate myself with knowledgeable people in the computer field learn exceedingly from them, which will expand my horizon by connecting myself to as many groups as possible. 

My heartfelt desire is to become a computer scientist. Specifically, I am interested in exploring how problems can be modeled and solved using Intelligent Systems. I also want to learn about human cognition and machine intelligence. I have been exploring many different areas within the domain of artificial intelligence (such as neural networks, genetic algorithms, and natural language processing). The bottom line is that I want to be a part of this exciting field. To that end, I would like to come to the University of Bonn to work towards an M.S. in computer science with an emphasis in Intelligent Systems. 

I believe that a symbiotic relationship between the student and his department is of utmost importance for a successful graduate program. Considering the theory and research based Graduate Program in Computer Science which suits my needs perfectly,University of Bonn is an ideal choice for an exciting research career.I believe that general coursework allows to show independent research and do large amounts of work to contribute to the course. Also, I have found the Computer Science Department faculty and the research being carried out, especially in Algorithms and Intelligent Systems, to be very impressive. I feel that to be associated with this group would stand me in good stead for my research career. I have also been impressed by the computing facilities available at the University of Bonn for research and education. These are much superior to those available to a graduate student in India. Taking all these factors into account, I feel that University of Bonn is the perfect place for my graduate studies and I am confident that I will make a positive contribution to the ongoing research work at the University of Bonn.

I believe that I have the motivation, intellectual power and readiness to set out on this exhilarating and strenuous path with absolute commitment and preparedness for necessary personal sacrifice to your on-going research work. With my decent academic background and strong industry work experience, I assure you that I will live up to the high academic standards of your university. I am sure that my aptitude and drive will see me through the challenge. I hope to have a long and mutually profitable association with the University of Bonn.