Hello... it is me again..! Please I ask for your support reviewing my Issue Eesay for my GRE test... This is my first eesay, so all mistakes I will accepted as well...Thank you...

[Alexandra Gallegos]

ARGUMENT ESSAY

 

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the text, the author points out that woven baskets could be related to a population near a Palean village, due to several of those objects had been encountered there time ago; however, recently others baskets had been founded in a community crossing a wide river. While it is true that Palean people was the originators of this baskets, and then they could travel to another nearly town, the author needs to focus on another kind of evidence in order to clarify this ambiguous argument and dismiss another supossions concerning to this fact.
 
    The caracterization of those particular kind of baskets is not clearly defined, in which concerns to prime material, shape, size, etc. Althought these particular details may not be required to determine which is the true origin of those handicrafts, this kind of information is neccesary to know or identify where prime materials were adquired. For example, if the author had metioned that the matter was from a specific plant, this clue could be sure useful to determine in which region the auspicious wheater allows to growing up such vegetation.

    Addiotionally, the author indicates that another such a ¨Palean¨ basket had been founded near Palean village, which can not be implied for sure that basket is created by palean hands, from this argue it can be inferred that communities sorrounded Palean village can elaborate things a little similar to paleans. One evidence neccesary to refute this hypothesis is compare this basket with another one created in a different place. For example, if regions around Brim River can develop only one type of vegetation, people often could use it to apply to solve their many needes.

    In the other hand, text suposses that if paleans had traveled acrross the river, at least one or perhaps some pieces of it can be encountered on the banks of the river, which it is not true, because any sign of boats was founded there, therefore it puts in doubt this deduction. But in the supossed case that they traveled to Lithos, and since Birm river is extense, they could found alternatives routes acroos the river, maybe where not signals of depth or risks were showed. Having say that, another different route ought be explored on the river between two villages, in order to discart that trips were did.

    Prime material, an analogue basket belonging to another clanship and a neccesary exploration by an alternative route is required for the porpuse of take out a conclusion to if woven baskets correspond to Paleans or on the contrary, to another group of people. Since it is an involve archaeologic discovery argument fully of wanting of evidences, these three evidences are necessary to clear out an historic issue that was succeded many years ago.

Edited October 1, 2015 by TakeruK
threads merged, titles added

[Alexandra Gallegos]

ISSUE ESSAY

 

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

In this statement is pretty clear that there are two faces corresponding to technology in our lives. Evolution of human race has always been exposed to continuous changes with the porpuse of overcome many needs underlied in each lapse-time of our existence. As normally, all changes have both sides: adventages and disadventages according to resources that those issues require to perform as well. Since technology devices had arrived to schools, companies, communication and transportation, and they can resolve our quotidian problems from basic to more complex operations, people had left to be worried about detailed issues concerned to background performance. One clear example is the topic of modern music, I am not saying that I do not like this music, but I always prefer classical and rock and roll rather than pop electronic, because this kind of music is a little more ¨artificial¨ genre, and its sounds are more elaborated and not from orinigal instruments as in classical music, this kind of music define a new style, however, the development of create a song composing note by note is limited. So, I am agree to think that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

    To be honest, is true that technology makes our life easiest, practice and confortable, related to media, comunication, transport, etc. But I think that confort means satisfaction, and satisfaction does not allow us to looking for other alternative, which late or early outcome perjudicial causes, since people will left to explore different possibilities. For example, many people can say that trough their mobile phone they can contact their relatives or friends worldwide just in minutes, but think about it this quote ¨technology brings us closer to distant people but moves us away form closer people¨, which means that technology in our cell phones prevaricates really thoughts and feelings of people in what really significance and important in our lives is.

    Another reason, is that as certain fact, machines and all tech devices are invented by human mind, it is also true that few people know deeply its function principle, but others only limit to understand its manage and sometimes its mantainance, so the problem is comming up when an unexpected damage occurs ocasionally, and the unique solution is to send it to the technic service to be repaired. Someone can say that, in this way it is useful to save money and time, which means optimization. But looking besides, if people would inform a bit more about software, devices, they could save more time and money, because to take a order to repair in a technic service takes a long time, and of course, worforce in that sites need to be paid a lot amount of money depending of which type of device is.

    Finally, I believe that basic mathematics operations always will be needed in order to understand a lot of explications in different work scopes that are derivated from basic concepts. That is the case of a student of high-school level nowadays, schools allow the use of many devices such as ipads, iphones, laptops, etc. when a test is performed by the student, but the majority of students will sure use it to obtain outcomes of several calculus problems, but if they get accostumed to use it to resolve all of excersises, depending on this each time more and more, so their never really will understand which real application or algorithm is besides of its calculation.

Edited October 1, 2015 by TakeruK
merged threads, added titles

[TheBumChikiBum]

Please Note : I am not an expert nor is my review final and the best. I am just doing what I can. I am not responsible for any outcomes.

I hate to be grammar Nazi but, sir, you need to work on your grammar. I suppose that English is not your native language. But, ETS people won't be knowing that. You Need practice. You might want to read Aldaily or NYTimes or some other good English newspapers and novels. At a lot of places you have typed 'n' instead of 'm'.

• In this statement IT is pretty clear
• porpuse of   ;Purpose to
•  adventages and disadventages  ;advantages and disadvantages
•  that those issuesc; that these issues
• people had left; people are left
• One clear example is the topic of modern music, I am not saying that I do not like this music, but I always prefer classical and rock and roll rather than pop electronic, because this kind of music is a little more ¨artificial¨ genre, and its sounds are more elaborated and not from original instruments as in classical music, this kind of music define a new style, however, the development of in create creating a song and composing it note by note is limited(You mean difficult or scarce?). So, I am agree to think that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.; Please try to avoid using 'I'. You can write it as " A lot of people nowadays prefer classic and rock and roll.... ". Also you don't write "artificial" . That's incorrect. Write 'artificial'. Use single inverted commas when you need to emphasize on something and use double inverted commas when you are quoting somebody's words as it is or anything similar
• For example, many people can say that trough their mobile phone they can contact their relatives or friends worldwide just in minutes, but think about it this quote ¨technology brings us closer to distant people but moves us away form from closer people¨, which means that technology in our cell phones prevaricates really real thoughts and feelings of people in what really significance who are significant and important in our lives is.  ; Sir, you cannot use a quote without giving it's source. You will be negatively marked for it. Might even get all your scores cancelled. Beware!!
• Your word count needs to be more and the change in paragraphs should be fluid. Try reading the Manhattan strategy guide for Essays. Might help you.

 

[TheBumChikiBum]

This was my answer and this is also not perfect. See, if you can learn something : 

New technology is invented almost everyday. Almost anything and everything that gets invented gets old within a matter of few weeks and something even better comes up. But, as these new technologies are invented, and as they start coming out in the market, people start relying heavily on them. Humans have less work to do by themselves.

The first and foremost example of this can be a calculator. At one point of time, mental maths or even solving long mathematical equations and problems had to be done on a sheet of paper. This really made humans think fast and made them agile and quick. Now, even a simple calculation such as to divide a sum of sixty-seven by seven, humans use calculator. Calculators have made the work of the human brain easy on one hand, but on the other hand people have stopped doing even the simplest of calculations. Such simple technology has had such a huge effect. People are becoming dumb. Just to add up two simple numbers, they rush to get their calculators.

The calculator is just one small piece of technology people use while shopping. Now, before shopping, people generally make a list. A list in their mind which has the name and quantity of all the stuff they have to buy. Humans now use their mobiles and write the stuff down in it or keep a voice note to make them remember the stuff they have to buy. This makes them think less, makes their work easier. The less they think, the dumber they become.Brain constantly needs problems to solve to remain sharp.

A human is the one who invents new technology. So, it would be unfair to say that as new technology gets invented, all of the humankind will get dumb and their ability to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Humans who actually do invent such technology will surely have to rack their brains. Technology can also be used to make such programs or software or apps which make people think and rack their brains. Such technology is needed to keep giving the brain the exercise it needs. All technology doesn't make people dumb. Hence, the right sector of technology to invest in needs to be identified and kept in mind.

A human cannot lie vacant for long and always searches for something to do. Problems, mental exercises and mathematics or science equations to solve is food for the brain. Brain constantly needs food to grow. The more it exercises, the sharper humans will be. For example, humans who play chess are generally very intelligent and have a high IQ. As new software are being made to solve problems, humans will start becoming mentally handicapped, unable to think and fend for themselves. So, it is up to humans to make the right choice. It is up to humans to decide whether they invest in such technology which is beneficial for the mankind or technology which might one day make us equivalent to robots; unable to think and fend for ourselves.

[TheBumChikiBum]

Again,

 

• Work on Past-tense / present -tense etc. Grammar Basically.
• Ask more questions. You are required to. I couldn't even find one question mark. Be rhetoric. 
• Read the Manhattan book for GRE Essays.

I found this essay a little better than the Issue one. An argument essay generally is.

[TakeruK]

Moderator's note: Please avoid making multiple threads of GRE essays. The two essays are now in this single thread. I added titles to each essay to make it clear which one is which!