ARGUMENT ESSAY: can someone please help me edit this or have any comments?

[ilovehrithikroshan]

"The city council of smithville has instituted changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes require that the town hire more police officers, budget more funds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol significantly lower the crime rate in smithville and make its citizens feel safer."

 

ARGUMENT ESSAY

According to this newspaper article, the City Council has decided to improve the visibility of the police force. However, there are many things that they need to take into account when making these big decisions would not necessarily make its citizens feel safer because at the same time people are sacrificing their privacy and freedom. It is also very expensive to hire more police officers and have funds for overtime. Improving the visibility of the police force does not equal lower crime rate for many reasons.

If crime is the problem, then that means that education is the problem. Hiring more police officers can be very expensive which means the city will not have enough money to improve the educational system,. Also, the more law enforcement there is, the more rebels will appear which can lead to more crime. One of the statements that was unclear is that they want the town to "direct officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars." What difference does it make if the police is on foot or in a car? People will feel like they don't have privacy or they don't have freedom if anywhere they go they will see a police officer. They might think that something is wrong with their town and will not even want to leave their house.

Also, just because people see more police officers does not mean that the crime rate will decrease. Crime will still happen no matter what, so the best thing to do to lower crime is not by having more police officers.

In conclusion, hiring more police officers and budgeting for overtime is expensive and this money could be used towards education. People will also feel  that their freedom and privacy is being threatened. This explains why it is better to improve the education system rather than make the situation appear worse by having more police officers surrounding the city.