Not feeling ready for a PhD abroad

[hrai]

Hi all,

This is my first time writing here and I hope I can get some advice from people who have been in my situation or have more experience.

 

I recently graduated with a MSc in Psychology. I randomly applied for jobs not expecting anything and got offered a fully funded phd offer which would require a relocation. This has overwhelmed me a lot since I have to start in two months time and completely do not feel ready for a relocation at this point in my life. The topic is not extremely exciting but I was told there is room for flexibility and the university itself is not one I had ever thought about going. I just got back from an internship abroad and was really looking forward to staying home and figuring out my next step. It has been taking an emotional toll on me and my family (who are supportive) since we would love to stay together for now (even if its a few months just because I have been away) but also know that fully funded phd offers do not come by frequently. Also, I do have another interview much closer to home in a few weeks but not sure if I will get it. Have any of you turned down a fully funded phd offer? If so, how do you feel about it?

Thanks!

[fuzzylogician]

I turned down several offers to accept another one (so not exactly the situation you are describing). All of them entailed moving very far away, the nearest location being over 5000 miles away. Two things I think are important and why I mention those facts: one, I applied knowing full well that I would move away from home, and I was as prepared as one could be. Second, I did not apply to schools that I did not want to study at. It could be lack of good advisors, or bad weather, or a town that's too small for my taste, but if for whatever reason I did not see myself accepting an offer if it was my only choice, I didn't even bother applying. 

I think you skipped some of the introspection that should, in my opinion, go into choosing where to apply (and whether to apply in the first place), and so now you're having to go through an expedited and stressful version of this process. Is there a way to accept the offer but defer for a year? It sounds to me like you need some more time to think about your priorities. If you can't defer, if it were me, I'd decline. Nothing is ever guaranteed, but since you got a funded offer and an interview, it seems that you are a strong enough applicant. You just need to decide what you're willing to sacrifice for your education. Going away when you don't really want to, for a project you're not excited about, sounds like a recipe for at least some hardship.