Grade this argument task please?

[Hadeel]

Hi? Can anyone grade this argument task? 

 

A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.

 

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The conclusion weakly follows from these premises because we are not told that soy directly helps prevent fatigue and depression, the quantitative data that we are given is in multiples and does not straigthforwardly show the number of cases of fatigue and depression in both the continents and the subject keeps changing from the people living in the continent to people who belong to the particular continent. 

 

Essentially, it is important to note that we are told that soy contains phytochemical called isoflavones which have disease-controlling abilities but the particular diseases that soy helps avoiding have not been mentioned in the premise. So soy could help our bodies in combating a number of diseases including fatigue and depression and it is also possible that isoflavones have no effect on fatigue and depression and only improves our immunity against other diseases that we are not concerned with here. The author has presumed, rather carelessly, that the constituents of soy help prevent fatigue and depression. This assumption can be avoided by confirming the effect of isoflavones in strengthening our immune system against depression and fatigue particularly. 

 

Moreover, the exact number of people suffering from chronic fatigue and depression in the continent of Asia have not been made available to us. This might cause us to assume that there are virtually no cases in Asia but since the author mentions that there have been 9 times more cases of fatigue and 31 times more cases of depression in North America it could mean that a considerable number of people in Asia may have these diseases but those on North American have more reported cases of these diseases. In order to overcome this ambiguity, a simple report on the number of people suffering from these diseases on both the continents would suffice to draw an accurate conclusion. 

 

Also, notice that the subject of the argument changes from ‘people living in North American and Asia’ to North American and Asians. We cannot assume that all the people living in North America are North Americans. Perhaps there is an appreciable number of Asians living in North America who take a large number of soy daily and consequently a number of North Americans could be living in Asia who do not consume soy daily. Even though these migrants will have little effect on the overall data that we are given the subject of the argument should either dress Asians or people living in Asia, and North Americans or people living in North America. This will help resolve the uncertainty in the data provided to us. 

 

These are a few assumptions that need to be addressed in order to construct a stronger conclusion from these premises. 

 

 

[Hadeel]

And this one too. 

 

From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper.

"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly."

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The author presents us with a flawed argument based on abstract premises and research studies that do not correlate. The claim that an increase in the number of hours of sleep will improve students’ concentration is not verified. And students who are not content with their grades are considered less productive which may not always be the case. Also, starting school late does not ensure that students will get an extra hour of sleep so the policy proposed is a weak one. 

 

One research discusses that young people need more sleep and another unrelated study suggests that many high school students are not content with their academic performance. Is there a correlation amongst these studies? I believe nothing exactly binds these two studies together except a flawed assumption. One study asserts that students need more sleep and the author jumps to conclude that the added hours of sleep will help students become 'more alert and productive’ when there is no given data that verifies this claim. An added information that addresses how sleep deprivations causes unsatisfactory nature in students could ameliorate the conclusion drawn from this argument. 

 

Moreover, the school policy to begin classes an hour later than the usual 7:30 AM may and may not have an affect on the students’ sleep cycles. They might start going to bed an hour later or perhaps even later than before. And since there is no way the school can monitor when students go to sleep, this policy might not be as effective as the author in this passage believes. The change in the school timings may affect students’ sleep patterns but in order to strengthen the argument we need to know for sure that the students will be getting an hour of sleep more than they did before. 

 

Lastly, notice that we are told that students have been sleeping less and so they are not satisfied with their results, what we should be looking for here is if their grades have deteriorated. If their grades have fallen because of the number of hours of sleep then perhaps this is a valid argument. Individuals maybe performing well and getting above average scores but if they want to achieve A+ in ever  course they will not be satisfied with what they get, this does not necessarily mean that they are not performing well in school. A study of the grades of students and the number of hours they sleep can be compared to see how well students perform if they sleep for more hours. 

 

These are the few assumptions that make for a weak argument in this case. In order to improve the conclusion we need to make sure that more hours of sleep actually help improve grades and to what to extent. 

[Vince Kotchian GRE Prep]

I'll just comment on your first essay, since the quality of both is about the same. I'd give it a 4.

You have relevant insights about alternate explanations for the author's conclusions, but they need to be more robust if you want to get a 5. Try elaborating and explaining more. Your body paragraphs need to be longer - not for the sake of length, but for the sake of making a more compelling case for the assertions you're making. You might also comment on how, if a particular claim in the argument is shown to be invalid, the rest of the argument is affected.

Check out the 5 and especially 6 responses in the ETS books (some are on its website, too).

Best, Vince

[Hadeel]

On 11/16/2015 at 11:57 PM, Vince Kotchian GRE Prep said:

I'll just comment on your first essay, since the quality of both is about the same. I'd give it a 4.

You have relevant insights about alternate explanations for the author's conclusions, but they need to be more robust if you want to get a 5. Try elaborating and explaining more. Your body paragraphs need to be longer - not for the sake of length, but for the sake of making a more compelling case for the assertions you're making. You might also comment on how, if a particular claim in the argument is shown to be invalid, the rest of the argument is affected.

Check out the 5 and especially 6 responses in the ETS books (some are on its website, too).

Best, Vince

Thanks a lot, I got a 4.5 on my AWA. It was above 80% so I am happy.