Explanation for Academic Probation

[NeuroBatman]

Hi!!  I am in the process of applying to graduate school for cognitive neuroscience.  Unfortunately, as a fledgling youth, I failed a number of classes as I failed to drop them.  Therefore, I am
required to explain this failure in my application.  I have written a short explanation and I'm wondering if it is adequate.  Please let me know what you think.  Also, this happened more than a decade ago.  Thanks.

As a young man, I was placed on academic probation at several community colleges (_______, _______, _______) due to failing grades resulting from poor attendance.  At the time I was immature, unorganized and uncommitted to maintaining the academic standards demanded by these institutions. However, since that time I have redefined my character, refusing to let past failures defeat me. Both my transgressions and triumphs have served as an impetus for my recent success and when I returned to college three years ago, I did so with a fire in my belly—determined to unveil my potential as a student.  This passion is reflected in the work I’ve done at ___________ College and __________ College, where over the past eight semesters I have maintained a 4.0 GPA. I am grateful for all of my experiences, both good and bad, which have bestowed in me the fortitude necessary to succeed as an academic.

[brown_eyed_girl]

I would leave off the parts about your character (esp describing yourself as immature, etc). I'd keep it simple and leave it at: you failed courses due to poor attendance and were placed on academic probation; this was due to personal circumstances that you overcame; your recent academic record demonstrates your commitment to education and the level of dedication you will bring with you to graduate studies. 

Edited November 18, 2015 by brown_eyed_girl

[TakeruK]

This paragraph is 150 words, which is a big fraction of the "standard" 750 word SOP (at least in my field, 750 words is standard). I think you could shorten it to less than 75 words (maybe even 50). I would follow brown_eyed_girl's advice to remove stuff about your character. 

[NeuroBatman]

Does anyone know why they don't want to know about your character?  It seems odd to me that they have no interest in knowing 'how' a person has changed or how past failures have driven one to succeed.  Certainly, my failures are a huge part of who I am and have pushed me to be the best student I can be.  This seems like something that would be of interest to someone considering me for their program.  It's almost like they want you to sidestep the issue rather than owning up to your mistakes, which seems weird to me.

[TakeruK]

15 minutes ago, justinhayes1982 said:

Does anyone know why they don't want to know about your character?  It seems odd to me that they have no interest in knowing 'how' a person has changed or how past failures have driven one to succeed.  Certainly, my failures are a huge part of who I am and have pushed me to be the best student I can be.  This seems like something that would be of interest to someone considering me for their program.  It's almost like they want you to sidestep the issue rather than owning up to your mistakes, which seems weird to me.

Since we can't really get into the heads of the admission committees, it's hard to say for certain. But from exposure and experience with academia, here are some thoughts:

1. The SOP is not a document that is explicitly about your character (but see #3 below). It's not like a personal essay that one might have written for college applications or a scholarship/fellowship. The SOP is a piece of academic writing that demonstrates the reason you want to go to grad school, the reason you want to become an academic in your field and the reason why this particular school is a good fit for you.

2. There's not a lot of space in the SOP for expressing the above point. 150 words is already 20% of the document. I do think you did a good job of turning the negative into a positive, but 20% is a lot of space and now you've "spent" a chunk of your space talking about a failure. Or, another way to think about it is that the main outcome of someone like me reading this paragraph is neutral---that is, you bring up a negative and then you cancel it out. I think you intended it to end up as net-positive by demonstrating your growth from a failure. However, it doesn't read that way to a third party, and even if I read it as a slight positive, you could have spent those 100 extra words saying something else that is just purely positive.

3. Generally, most people do not think the candidate is the most reliable source of character descriptions of themselves. Also, the words you use (e.g. "immature" or "fortitude") are subjective terms that mean different things to different people. How do I know that my definition of fortitude is what you really are? This is why another common suggestion for SOPs is to show, don't tell. You don't need to tell them that you've changed as a person. Instead, say that you were on academic probation, and then say your GPA in the most recent semesters is a 4.0. This shows your passion and work ethic very clearly. Also, as a reader, when I see this, I can then draw my own conclusions about your character, using the adjectives defined the way I know and I can then build my own understanding of your character.

That is, to clarify, admissions committees certainly do look for "non-cognitive" measures (or "character") in their applicants. We just had a conversation about this yesterday with some faculty members. They want people that are driven and motivated. They want students who can take initiative and demonstrate leadership. But you don't show these things by saying that you have these attributes. You demonstrate them by providing examples and telling your story. 

[NeuroBatman]

Oh, to clarify, most of my applications have a separate section for discussing this.  Does that make a difference?

[NeuroBatman]

Thank you for the helpful replies by the way.  I really appreciate it.

[TakeruK]

8 minutes ago, justinhayes1982 said:

Oh, to clarify, most of my applications have a separate section for discussing this.  Does that make a difference?

Yes, if this is a paragraph is a special section to discuss things like this, or in a personal history statement or some other document that is separate and in addition to the SOP, then I think it's fine, keeping in mind my point #3 above.  Sorry to misunderstand!

[NeuroBatman]

Sorry.  One last question: Should I make my explanation longer since I'm given 1000 words?  In other words, should this be an entirely separate essay or addendum? 

[TakeruK]

My understanding is that for separate sections/essays to explain special circumstances, there is no need to use up all of your word allotment if you are able to say everything you need to say. I think your current paragraph has all the necessary details (I'm not left with questions after reading it). There may be a disadvantage to writing more because then you are going really in depth about something that doesn't really matter (i.e. academic probation from community college years ago doesn't really matter now that you have a 4.0 in the last 3 years).

[NeuroBatman]

Great!  Thanks again!

[fuzzylogician]

Even though you have the space, I still think brown_eyed_girl has it right. Your own description of your character isn't something that I can trust. On the other a very short and to the point "I had failures before, but I've grown and now I have a 4.0 GPA" is a much stronger statement. I can conclude for myself that you've worked on yourself and are very passionate. Even though you may have 1000 words, you certainly aren't required to use them. Adcom members are busy people. Only say what you need to.

As a young man, I was placed on academic probation at several community colleges (_______, _______, _______) due to failing grades resulting from poor attendance.  At the time I was immature, unorganized and uncommitted to maintaining the academic standards demanded by these institutions. However, since that time I have redefined my character, refusing to let past failures defeat me. Both my transgressions and triumphs have served as an impetus for my recent success and when I returned to college three years ago, I did so with a fire in my belly—determined to unveil my potential as a student.  This passion is reflected in the work I’ve done at ___________ College and __________ College, where over the past eight semesters and I have since maintained a 4.0 GPA. I am grateful for all of my experiences, both good and bad, which have bestowed in me the fortitude necessary to succeed as an academic.

[NeuroBatman]

Thanks!

[leahrs]

I think what you have written is very good.  I think explaining your personal triumphs and showing your passion for education and growth is extremely important and acknowledging where you were and why and how far you have come and how you got there and the work you put in is important.  It is also important to explain to show why that will not diminish when the stress of Grad school weighs down on you.  How has the fire in your belly become permanent why wont it dissipate when you have work and school and family and everything else going on....what has changed that will keep you pushing through and keep you focused on your education.