Proof read Statement of Purpose

[Harsh211]

Hi everyone,

Can anbody please proof read my SOP?

I am eagerly waiting for the critiques.

Statement of Purpose

One day when my brother and I was playing games on a retro gaming console my father surprised me with a brand new computer running on Windows 95 OS and of which I dreamt since the introduction of it during my primary school. Since then the appetite of knowledge regarding computers increased with the academics and experiences Having known the capabilities of the computer technology, eagerness to build my research skill and work towards my interests intended me to pursue my MS in Computer Science and the same will drive me to Ph.D. in future which may better someone’s life or create a greener planet. In the following paragraphs I have summarized my educational background, professional experience, motivation for graduate studies and my areas of interest. – [Introduction]

My school helped me develop better in the field of science, right from the initial stages, with different technical festivals, science exhibitions and I have secured distinction in secondary standard. During those days I was exposed to BASIC programming language and Turtle Logo which fascinated me and induced the skill of programming and designing. Continuing with the science as major in higher secondary school and after securing first class grade, exposure to MATLAB and different operating systems like LINUX and UNIX influenced me more to choose Computer Engineering as a Major in Bachelor of Engineering. – [Schooling]

During under graduation subjects like Computer Programming, Theory of Computation, Compiler Design, Design and Analysis of Algorithms remains my keen interest and highly impacted me to understand more about computer science. Algorithms started back in 1600 BC by Babylonians and evolved to algorithms like AES-256 bit, SHA-256, MD5 and even furthermore researchers are working on algorithms to implement on premature Quantum Computers. This evolution in algorithms and chips containing numerous transistors following Moore’s law has always amazed me and increased my interest in Computer Science. I have always performed well with AA or AB grades in practical exams and projects because of curiosity to see working models of theoretical codes and methods. Industrially defined project for Swayam Infotech Pvt. Ltd in the last year developed using SQL as backend database and C#.NET as frontend has improved my programming skills, analytical skills and research skills. Using this project, implementation of methodologies of SDLC studied in the course Software Engineering was made possible. I have attended various seminars on algorithms and theory of computation. I have also given presentation on it in inter-college technical festival in R.K University which upgraded my leadership skill.  - [Under Graduation]

After under graduation I decided to put my knowledge to a more practicality and also to gain overseas experience I did job in Focussoftnet - Dubai, UAE - a business solutions provider company. I developed a complete Web Application called FocusPMS (Property Management System) for the company after researching into the vast area of real estate in UAE and understanding workflows of different companies. It was also integrated with the company’s ERP solution to handle financial postings. Along with the development of the product, Implementation of ERP for various clients helped me to explore different business work flows. After gaining experience in implementation, I have trained dozen clients about ERP and also went to Tunisia to give overseas training to a client. It was a great opportunity to learn and experiment different technologies like GIT, ASP.NET, C#.NET, JavaScript, CSS, Crystal Reports, SQL, HTML. Also I got chance to implement different algorithms and software methodologies during the development of the product. – [Experience]

[emmm]

I came late to this website, so it's probably too late for this cycle. I hope you were able to get friends to critique your SOP. I'm not sure how others feel about this, but is it a good idea to post your SOP here, rather than asking for volunteers and then sending the document via private message? There are definitely parts of this SOP that I would omit (childhood experiences) and other areas I would expand on (actual research and work experience). For applying to schools in the US, I would recommend trying to get at least one American (with good writing skills) to read and comment, as some of your phrasing would not be considered "standard" here. I think you souonds as though you have a lot of experience and could be a strong applicant, but this SOP might not be helping you as much as it could.

[svent]

No, don't post them here. After a few minutes, these posts are final. This SOP isn't very good. Wastes a bunch of space with a silly intro story, then lists a bunch of classes taken, talks about class rank, talks about industry experience instead of academic research experience, etc. Standard mistakes that I see in all the international students' SOPs. Some typos, too.

Edited January 21, 2016 by svent