How Personal Is Too Personal?

[Unimpressed3D]

I'm applying to English PhD programs, which I know want you to focus on academics and research interests. So my first SOP did just that, delving in deep. However, I noticed that it didn't boast my accomplishments as much as others I was coming across. I figured those are already listed on my CV and available elsewhere. I can't find a way to bring them in without cutting a lot out, anyway, and then it just sounds like empty bragging, which I tend to avoid.

But there is the issue of a blot and some possible cause for concern on my transcript. I'm not sure how to explain that, since the truth is frankly pretty weird. Half of it is illness-related, which one of my profs is already going to address in his LOR, but there's another dimension to it that has actually been a big influence in my intellectual development. OK, so I guess since I'm asking for advice on the matter, it wouldn't be very polite to hide it. Bit-sized confession: I used to belong to a cult. I had what we'll just call extremely disadvantaged beginnings. There was hard-line traditional religion involved. And then I experienced a series of traumas in my early twenties, which left me in psychological devastation, on top of which I was mentally compromised by the meds required for my illness, which started at 19. From what I've learned since, recent trauma is relatively common shortly before cult recruitment. Anyway, so I ended up in the cult, tried to leave twice, went back, and finally broke away for good. Even then, I had to deal with the fallout on top of physical illness.

My experiences and what I've learned through them play a tremendous role in how I approach things, of course, but I can easily see how that might be viewed in a negative light. I'm not sure whether to bring it up at all, but just citing "illness" to explain W's - and one F, the result of refusing to do a final project because of "objectionable" content, without so much as communicating with the "heathen" instructor - seems too much like just making excuses. Even though I really was physically ill, I'm not sure how it would come off to an adcom. But I'm very leery of bringing in religion at all, never mind cult involvement. I don't want to seem crazy, and they don't (and obvious can't) know my whole life story in order to understand the whys and wherefores.

Should I just not mention it at all? Acknowledge a bad decision without explaining it? Maybe my SOP was fine to begin with, but I don't know if an F is something for which an adcom wants some kind of explanation if they're expected to overlook it. This was at the community college level 3 1/2 years ago, if that makes a difference, and it was in a BS class (for me, anyway, in terms of relevance) that had nothing to do with my major. Parts of my application are really strong, and I graduated from the cc with honors before transferring to my current university, where I have a very high GPA and I've had only one B. My GRE score was 166 for Verbal, and I had a paper accepted at a conference this year. Plus, I belong to three honors societies. Will this outweigh an F? If I should explain it, should I say less?

[fuzzylogician]

I wouldn't mention it. You don't know how widely your SOP will be shared--it might be distributed to everyone on the faculty. Would you be comfortable with all of your professors knowing this about you? Moreover, you can't know or control how others will interpret this information, and there is a not-insignificant chance that it'll be interpreted in ways that you would rather it not. Your F is long enough in the past and not in an important subject. I think one excuse (illness) is enough, and since you also have a professor discussing it, I think you should be fine. Of course, no one can make you any promises, but that wouldn't change even if you include this additional information. 

[Unimpressed3D]

Thank you! You bring up some great points. No, I certainly don't think it would be prudent to broadcast this to all and sundry. I'll leave it out.

[brown_eyed_girl]

I agree that it's probably wise to leave it out. As to your other question -- how to integrate your accomplishments without it sounding like boasting -- my mentors told me not to be afraid to "toot your own horn" a bit, but to do so in a way that demonstrates the relevance of your accomplishment and how it has impacted you or will impact your future studies. You shouldn't go point by point through your CV, but achievements like your conference paper might be good to mention, followed by a brief line or two about what you learned from the experience. Highlighting one or two academic achievements like this is much stronger than listing a five or six things without explaining their relevance. Hopefully this doesn't require restructuring your whole SOP.