AWA help?

[jwde2009]

Hey guys. I take the GRE Thursday but I have not practiced the AWA much at all. Can you give me some feedback on my two practice essays today? I will post the prompt for each. Thank you so much for any feedback!

 

 

Educational institutions should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

               

 

If educational institutions were to dissuade students from pursuing field of study in which they are unlikely to succeed then the actual educational system would be suffering. Educational institutions should be not in the job of making decisions for students but rather should be providing students with the opportunities they need to make these decisions for themselves.

                In order to adequately critique the policy we must address what the primary function of the university really is. Many would agree that the primary function of the university should be to prepare students for the future. In doing so it may seem logical to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. After all, if the goal of the institution is to prepare students for the future then it would make sense to encourage students to pursue fields of study where they will succeed. This argument, however, hinges upon the assumption that an educational institution can adequately assess whether or not a student will be successful in their field of study based off of current performance and other similar indicators. This is not necessarily the case. For example, someone who is not a particularly strong student in a high school biology class may still end up becoming a very successful biologist. Our attitudes and goals can change and these changes can directly affect our performance in various areas. Therefore, it does not make sense to assess a student’s future success in a field based off of current performance in the classroom

                Furthermore, the classroom is often times not similar enough to the real world experience of a job to predict success in the workplace. Many times professors and career advisors say that if a student is not interested in their classroom discussions then they will not be interested in their career choice. This is probably true most of the time. However, a lack of interest and poor academic performance are not one in the same. A student may be very interested in the classroom discussions and assignments of a class and still perform poorly academically. Also, many professions such as social work and psychology can vary wildly from classroom setting to real world practice. In this sense it is not sufficient to say that performance in real world work settings can be accurately predicted by classroom success.

                Finally, the very idea of an educational institution is to provide new opportunities to the students attending and educate them about the opportunities that exist. Educational institutions should offer enough information to their students that the students themselves can accurately assess what careers they are likely to succeed in and in which careers they are not likely to succeed in. Instead of dissuading students from pursuing certain fields of study the universities should be preparing the students well enough that they do not choose fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed for themselves. In this manner educational institutions would not be restrictive in dissuading students to pursue certain fields of study but rather the institutions would be encouraging in empowering their students to make their own decisions.

                Although the issue is not black and white it is clear to see that one option – the policy proposed – is encouraging a policy that has a negative portrayal. Assessing that a student is not fit for their chosen field of study and subsequently dissuading them from continuing those studies is unambiguously failing to empower the student to make their own choices. The other option, providing the student with the opportunity to make their own choice (DID NOT FINISH THIS SENTENCE)

 

The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.

"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time."

*Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

 

                The argument that the jobs created since 1999 outweigh the negative consequences of previous downsizing rests on the assumption that the jobs being created constitute suitable employment for those who have lost their jobs to corporate downsizing. The recent report that suggests that the jobs that have been created tend to pay above-average wages and are full-time jobs can be misleading for this reason. While the jobs that have been created may be suitable jobs for part of the Elthyrian workforce, that does not mean that the jobs that have been created are suitable for the people who have lost their job to corporate downsizing.

 For example, the jobs that were lost to corporate downsizing may have paid 5 times the average wage. While the new jobs being created may pay above average wages, a wage that is 1.5 times the average wage may not be suitable for someone who is accustomed to earning 5 times the average wage. While it may seem obvious to suggest that this person simply readjust their expenditure, doing so is not so easy once someone has already taken out a mortgage and a car loan on top of already existing student loans. In this way the jobs that have been created may not be suitable for the people that have lost their jobs and these people may face economic hardship while searching for new employment.

Conversely, it may be that the new jobs created are not suitable for the population that has lost their job because the vast majority of the new jobs are full-time jobs. While at first sight this may seem like a good thing, it is important to keep in mind that up until now we know very little about the population that has lost their jobs due to corporate downsizing. It may be that the population that has been most affected by the corporate downsizing are single parents who are working part-time and need to continue to do so. If this were to be true then the fact that the vast majority of the new jobs are full-time positions would actually be bad for the population that has lost their jobs due to corporate downsizing. This population would almost certainly face serious economic hardship, perhaps for years, while they search for new part-time positions in a field that may now be oversaturated with unemployed people seeking part-time employment.

                Finally, the jobs that have been created may not be suitable for those who have lost their jobs to corporate downsizing simply due to the skills required for the jobs lost versus the jobs created. It is stated that many competent workers lost their jobs due to downsizing; given the context of being in the corporate world we may safely assume that these workers probably have office skills such as computer and basic clerical skills. If the jobs being created are line assembly jobs in factories – which often times pay above-average wages and are full-time jobs – then the skills possessed by the population that has lost their jobs would not be very transferable to the jobs being created. If this were true then the population that has lost their jobs would almost certainly face economic hardship as they either seek jobs similar to the ones that they had before or take the time to learn new skills that will help them obtain employment in the form of the new jobs that have been created.

                As you may see, the issue is not quite as black and white as it appears to be in the letter to the editor. While this author makes several good points, such as overall unemployment decreasing and new jobs being made, it is important to understand the context of the statistics and question whether or not the two events are mutually exclusive. It may very well be that the new jobs being created are good for the overall population and economy. However, if we are speaking specifically about those who have lost their jobs to corporate downsizing it is not a given that the new jobs being created will outweigh the negative consequences of the corporate downsizing.