Please help edit my GRE essays! thanks a lot!

[Lin Luo]

Issue #1

           Nowadays, techonology is widely used by people everywhere. Techology includes high software or tools like ipad, iphones, Tv we use in daily lives. People apply it to many areas  ranging from communication to conducting reseaches. However, I believe that the ability of humans to think will diminish as a result of the development of technology.

           Most of people depend on techology to solve problems instead of inventing creative ways independently. In the classroom, students are more likely to use a calculator to solve even very simple math questions than before. Although using a calculator may save lots of time, students are deprived of the chance to practise their brain and mathematics through thinking process. As a result, students’ number sense and ability to count numbers will surely decrease. Therefore, techology dimish people’s thinking.

              In addition, there are many “couch potatoes” nowadays who sit in front of TV all day without any physical stimulation. In this case, these people are addicted into the techonology, and they become lazy. They waste lots of time on those soap shows instead of doing some fun activities with families and friends, and their lives become tragic, isolated and meaningless. Thus, techonology has negative influence on individuals.

               Nevertheless, although techology makes people become dependable and lost, the development of techology, in some parts, brings convience to life and makes a great contribution to our society. For instance, the Artificial Intelliegence (AI) help diagnose disease and record the medical history of each patient, which makes doctors’ work more efficient than before. It is possible that AI is able to help save lots of people’s lives by detecting their disease more quickly. Also, with the advent of techology, people nowadays are able to access to mountains of up to date information, which broadens their horizons and help them make better decisions. People may use these amount information of different disciplines to invent more ways to improve lives.

            In conclusion, I think that techonology can save lots of times and brings lots of convience to people, but we should not rely on it too much because it may hurt our thinking.

Argument #1

              This argument is unable to substantiate that Palean baskets were not Palean since it has some flaws.

              First, the author argues that since no Palean boats were found in Brim River, where Brim baskets were discovered, those baskets were not made uniquely by Palean. In this case, the author assumes that those baskets had to be transported to the area by boats if they were made by Palean. However, there is not much evidence showing that Palean were unable to transfer those baskets in to the area without boats. Probably, those baskets were transported by other ways like through a flood, for instance. Had the author gives more evidence and consider other factors that may explain the discovery of the baskets in Brim River, his arguments may be stronger.

             Even if given the fact that Palean baskets indeed had to be transported into the area by boat and no Palean boats were found so far yet, we still lack evidence to prove that those baskets were not made Palean. It is surely possible that archaeologists may found the trace of boats in the future. In this case, the author makes his or her conclusions too hastily. By consider other possibilities or maybe by giving evidence showing the impossibility of future discovery of the boat, the author may make his or her statements more substantiated.

               All in all, the author fails to support that Palean baskets were not uniquely made by Palean because of his or her ignorance of other explanations to the missing trace of Palean boats.