GRE Essays

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Hello, I am planning on taking the GRE in about a month. At the bottom of this blog, I have the prompt, scoring guide, and essay related to one of the GRE topics. I was hoping if someone can proof read it for me. I understand there might be a lot of errors, but I'm hoping I can improve my writing skills here.  Thank you very much. 

 

Scores 6 and 5.5

Sustains insightful, in-depth analysis of complex ideas; develops and supports main points with logically compelling reasons and/or highly persuasive examples; is well focused and well organized; skillfully uses sentence variety and precise vocabulary to convey meaning effectively; demonstrates superior facility with sentence structure and usage, but may have minor errors that do not interfere with meaning.

Scores 5 and 4.5

Provides generally thoughtful analysis of complex ideas; develops and supports main points with logically sound reasons and/or well-chosen examples; is generally focused and well organized; uses sentence variety and vocabulary to convey meaning clearly; demonstrates good control of sentence structure and usage, but may have minor errors that do not interfere with meaning.

Scores 4 and 3.5

Provides competent analysis of ideas in addressing specific task directions; develops and supports main points with relevant reasons and/or examples; is adequately organized; conveys meaning with acceptable clarity; demonstrates satisfactory control of sentence structure and usage, but may have some errors that affect clarity.

Scores 3 and 2.5

Displays some competence in analytical writing and addressing specific task directions, although the writing is flawed in at least one of the following ways: limited analysis or development; weak organization; weak control of sentence structure or usage, with errors that often result in vagueness or a lack of clarity.

Scores 2 and 1.5

Displays serious weaknesses in analytical writing. The writing is seriously flawed in at least one of the following ways: serious lack of analysis or development; unclear in addressing specific task directions; lack of organization; frequent problems in sentence structure or usage, with errors that obscure meaning.

Scores 1 and 0.5

Displays fundamental deficiencies in analytical writing. The writing is fundamentally flawed in at least one of the following ways: content that is extremely confusing or mostly irrelevant to the assigned tasks; little or no development; severe and pervasive errors that result in incoherence.

Score 0

The examinee's analytical writing skills cannot be evaluated because the responses do not address any part of the assigned tasks, are merely attempts to copy the assignments, are in a foreign language or display only indecipherable text.

 

 

Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

Technology has been one of our biggest life changers in today's generation. And that's not only talking about our 4g iPhones or our super speed laptops, which contains now ebooks, music, cameras, and basically our school life. Technology has been improved in cars, switching from stick shift to a manual car. Touch screen searching options at the mall, sewing machines rather than hand stitches. Also, we have updated from a regular broom, to an electrical vacume cleaner, and now a vacume cleaner that finds its way around the house and cleans it with no hands. Those do not seem like technology's that make our lives more complicated. Technology is aimed to simplify our lives, but not to the extent to make it more complicated. Siri has now become our bestfriend, she can find answers for us in a heart beat. It helps us find more simpler answers to our problems. Technology is so dispersed around the world, that it would be very difficult to complicate our lives. It's not like there is a high chance to where technology will be eradicated and we look to one another and say, okay our life is over. It is becoming more available to everyone around the world. Technology is almost everyone's first priority. Technology is being donated to new schools located in the underdeveloped countries to improve their education. Yes, there are sometimes midlife crisis when technology goes wrong and everyone does think it is the end of the world. But the human mind has not gone blank without the use of technology. It is not as if we only have one technological usage that we are dependent on. For example, if the phone calculator is not working, that is fine because we can use a regular calculator. If the toaster is not working, then that is fine because we can just use the grill. If our phones are dead and we cannot use google maps or siri to find our way back home, then that is fine because we either use someone else's phone, a GPS, or stop by the nearest gas station and get directions from there. The human mind will always find other solutions.