GRE Writing--Feedback, please?

[EM123]

Hi Everyone,

I recently started studying for the GRE test and completed my first two, timed writing prompts--one of which is the Issue Task and the other is the Argument Task.  I don't have anyone who is willing to read and assess, and I was hopeful to hear that an expert may take the time here to "grade" my prompts.  See below for my writing!  I put the prompts in bold and my answers are directly under them.

~Thank you so much (in advance)!

THE ISSUE TASK:  In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

As human beings, our ability to think at high levels has allowed for us to be the most powerful and dominant species of all.  This ability involves comparison and collaboration, including argumentative discussion.   Progress, in any situation, requires discussion among individuals with differences of opinion, as this process allows for all sides of an argument to be made and all opinions to be heard and allows for the best possible and favorable outcome.

The United States of America is built on the foundations and principles of Democracy.  What is right and what is desired is decided by all individuals in our country having their opinions heard.  For example, in our government, if a new bill or law is created and suggested, it finds its way to the House of Representatives. Those representatives include Democrats, Republicans and Independents.   The House discusses all sides of the suggested bill/law in order to present all benefits and drawbacks of implementation.  Once all opinions and voices are heard, the majority vote wins and the bill or law moves forward and progresses to the Senate.  This process clearly illustrates how differences of opinion and contrasting points of view result in progress.

Stepping away from our government and policies, one might look within a classroom.  For example, in high school English classes, teachers frequently have students read a book and after each assigned portion of reading, a discussion will take place.  If a class reads Lord of the Flies, it is likely that, during a discussion involving all students, there are differences in opinion about the author’s juxtaposition of characters and the hierarchal system that the boys on the island employed.  If students were to clash in their opinions on these issues, further discussion would be necessary.  In this process, all students listening in the classroom would gain further insight and understanding of the novel, resulting in progress of the student and progress of learning within the classroom.

While progress is often the product of contrasting discussions, it is possible that all progress is stalled or delayed because a decision cannot be reached.  For example, in many criminal charges of sexually violent crimes, it is quite common that defense attorneys use contrasting arguments and time to their advantage.  Because of the specifics of the Statute of Limitations, if a decision cannot be reached within a ten-year period following an assault, then the entire case can be dropped.  If a situation involves too many contrasting opinions, the time it takes to move forward and progress might be detrimental.

In looking at the history of great disputes and controversial suggestions,  it is evident that progress requires and demands discussion among people who have and hold contrasting points of view.

 

Argument Task:  The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants. "Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The argument made by this author is invalid and makes multiple assumptions that are not clearly supported.  The author relies on a measurement of customer happiness based on numbers and percentages that are highly skewed.  This measurement also fails to recognize how many customers have noticed the change and are not happy it, but who have chosen not to verbally complain.   The language used by this author in his/her argument is too vague to determine anything for certain.  These things, taken all together, invalidate the argument provided.

The author states that the switch from butter to margarine has resulted in little change, citing that about 2 percent of customers have complained.  While they provide an example that 98 people out of 100 people are happy with the change, they are not recognizing that, at a restaurant with fewer customers, those two percent of customers may account for a large group of people.  For example, at a Happy Pancake House with only 10 customers, that would indicate that at least one customer, for certain, was unhappy with the change.  That one individual may account for a significant portion of the restaurant’s income on that day.  The numbers that are referenced by this author are misleading and make for an unreliable assumption of this argument.

In this argument, the author uses language that is not descriptive and not operationally defined.  For example, they argue that the change has had little “impact” on its customers and they support that claim by saying only some percentage of people have complained.  The author is measuring customer satisfaction based on the number of complaints received, which is a vague and unclear way to define happiness of the customers.

In this argument, there are many assumptions that all customers are exactly alike.  For example, there could be many customers who are unhappy with the switch in the pancake house, but have decided and chosen not to speak up and verbally complain.  To assume that dissatisfaction is always expressed through complaints, made either in a survey or to a server at the restaurant, is an invalid part of this argument.  The author continues to base their argument on this fallacy in the final conclusion that customers must use the word butter to refer to butter or margarine.  It is possible that some customers may use those words interchangeably, but it is invalid to say that all customers use that language.   Some may think of butter as butter and margarine as margarine, making no mistake between the two condiments at all.

In conclusion, the argument that this author makes about the Happy Pancake House and its customers is invalid and not properly supported.  The numbers and percentages of customer satisfaction are skewed and the language used in that measurement is too vague.  Lastly, not all customers at the Happy Pancake House are the same, but this author makes that assumption on various accounts.