Rate my GRE essay

[sayli]

 

Prompt: Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Essay:

Laws are made for the people and ensure betterment of individuals.It is the responsibility of citizens to abide by the rules Government has enforced .However it is equally important to resist unjust laws and voice out opinion against it.

Admittedly every nation works for development an improvement of citizens.The laws and rules formulated by Government ensure justice for every citizen irrespective of caste/creed/religion. One can be a responsible citizen of country if he/she strictly follows the rules all its rules.For eg. Income tax law in most countries assures tax incursion on income of people. Certainly people with higher income pay higher taxes compared to people with lesser income.This warranties financial equality of people.

Furthermore people believe in Government if it ensures justice for everyone.People will obey laws only if they feel they are right and just.
Both people as well as Government can benefit here.To demonstrate this consider traffic rules. They are made for security of travellers.
Person can travel safely if obeys all rules on road.Breaching the rules can entail u pay fine and also attracts unwanted fatal risks.

While it is necessary for everyone to obey just laws it is equally important to resist unjust laws. Individuals should stand up against the Government it they feel a particular law doesn't confirm justice for everyone. For eg. If a law/rule goes against the environment and involves destruction of wildareas at a certain location for construction of new commercial centre, environmentalists or even social activists can protest against such laws to protect the mother nature. It is duty of Government to validate the laws before enforcing it on citizens.

All things considered laws a country can be hailed if its laws prove beneficial to everyone as well as can be criticised severely if provokes unjust feeling in citizens.

 

[namarie]

3 out of 6. 

[sayli]

Thanks @namarie .. any suggestions would be appreciated 

Edited August 29, 2016 by sayli

[namarie]

@sayli According to ETS a score of 2.5 or 3 "Displays some competence in analytical writing, although the writing is flawed in at least one of the following ways: limited analysis or development; weak organization; weak control of sentence structure or language usage, with errors that often result in vagueness or lack of clarity."

I think you could work on the development and organization of your essay, as well as the language used. I think it has the potential to be a really good essay if you work on those points! Best of luck!  

[sayli]

@namarie will surely try to work on it. Thank You