need honest feedback on this arguement essay . its for gre

[kingsley007]

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
 

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

  
my response :
  
           While it may seem true that introducing a cafe in monarch book store will increase the customer base , the author's argument doesnot provide cogent statements .The suggestion made by the author has many assumptions and holes which is not strong enough to have a clear insight . The argument would be more convincing if the author had stated all required information and explained about the hidden factors .
        
           Firstly, the author states that opening a cafe in monarch book store will increase the customer base . The people visiting the book store may only be focused on the books and not about the other factors . The introduction of the cafe in the book store may distract the customers to deviate from the purpose of their visit . If the author had stated the analysis report of observation of book stores which have actually increased their customer base , than the argument would be more sound .
    
           As a contrast , the author suggests removing children books section to provide room for the cafe and this is all based on a survey that children below 10 years of age are declining . The author doesnot state on what basis the samples are taken. Eventhough the number of children below 10 are low , parents and grandparenrts residing near the store may buy those books for their children . This assumption of the author has no firm grounding which inturn weekens his suggestion .

           However , the cafe in the book store may only attract the customers who read the books in the store . This provides no evidence that the people will buy books from the store . The author also fails to imply if only the customers or all people are allowed in the cafe . He fails to note the point that people may only be interested in visiting the cafe . But it would be more cogent if the author had proper evidence and mentioned rules of the book store .

          Eventhough it sounds logical that introducing a cafe in monarch books increases the customer base , the author fails to state certain information to support his suggestion . he also makes assumptions without proper insight which inturn leads to holes . If the author had discussed more on the above stated requirements , the argument would sound more cogent .