Someone to Rate my Practice GRE Essay

[sydb]

Hey everyone, 

I'm taking the GRE in a 6 days and wrote a practice issue topic essay just now. Could someone use the GRE offical scoring guide (https://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/prepare/analytical_writing/issue/scoring_guide) and score me on this piece? 

Prompt: 

Society should make efforts to save endangered species only if the potential extinction of those species is the result of human activities.

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

 

Response:

Being at the top of the food chain, it is the responsibility of humans to protect species which are at risk for endangerment. Regardless of human involvement in the potential eradication of a species, humankind should make efforts to protect all species at risk for extinction on Earth.  

            By having an extremely large presence on Earth, it is unlikely that the extinction of a species would be strictly due to the process of natural selection and evolution. If humankind only worked to save the species which were directly linked to elimination due to human activities, there would be a large loss of creatures important to the ecosystem. With a large loss of creatures which play important roles, both big and small, comes a change in the food chain and the environment where the species once lived. Often times the shift in the food chain can be dramatic causing a domino effect beginning in the food chain where the species once existed.

            Although it may make sense to only save those effected by human activity due to the assumption that a species would flourish if not for the presence of humans, this fact does not deter from the small importance each creature has on an ecosystem. One might argue that if a species appears to be dying out on its own, then humans should not interfere with the process of evolution and natural selection, rather, humans should let nature take its course. Negating this point is, as mentioned previously, the overwhelming presence of humans on Earth. Because of this, it is highly unlikely that a species would die off completely due to natural causes rather than any indirect environmental factor humans might be imposing an example being pollution.

            Regardless of human involvement in the potential eradication of a species, humankind should make an effort to protect all species at risk for extinction. Humans should help any species at risk for extinction due to not knowing the widespread impact that the human lifestyle has on the global environment. It is unlikely to be able to determine if humans had absolutely no impact on the demise of a species, therefore to protect the Earth and its ecosystems, humans should protect each endangered species regardless of why the species is at risk.

           

[fuzzylogician]

Hi there, please don't cross-post the same post multiple times. I've moved this copy to a more appropriate location (the GRE subforum) and have deleted the other copies.