Rip Apart my first GRE Issue Essay

[Sargeant13]

Hello,

I just did my first Issue practice essay for the GRE and wow! Writing an essay in 30 minutes is tough.

I worked on my outline for 5-8 minutes and after that I typed non-stop. I think I wrote too much in for my body paragraphs because I wrote my introduction and conclusion in 5 minutes. I didnt have time to edit essay

AS ALWAYS, I will critique your essay if you critique mine. What score do you think I would get?

 

THANK YOU!

 

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

Outline

Thesis

-          As people embrace technology more, the ability of humans to think for themselves will not deteriorate.

I agree

-          Embracing Technology brings in new problems thus preventing deterioration

o   Ex. Computers- access to information and quicker computing but now we can more free time to work on other problems

o   Cyberattacks

o   Privacy

-          Education needed to solve problems

o   Ex. Humans will need to go through education to use these new technologies

-          Technology allows for further knowledge of other areas when time used to be taken up by basic problems.

Might Be True

-          Thanks to technology, we truly can solve problems quicker sometimes at a push of a button

o   Ex. Calculators instead of manual calc

o   Automate work

 

 

Year by year, humans are relying more on technology as information, transportation, medical and many other resources. Humans can solve many problems with just a click on a keyboard or a push on their phone. The use of technology makes it seems that humans have stopped thinking for themselves and instead technology thinks for them. I disagree. The reliance on technology does not deteriorate our ability to think for ourselves since technology brings in new problems, technology allows us to explore other areas that were not possible, and technology requires retooling and education for people to use it.

As humans becoming more intertwined with technology, the use of technology will solve trivial problems that humans spend much time solving. The use of technology will allow humans to further explore uncharted areas of science and the arts that was difficult to study since our time was spent solving problems that took a long time to solve without technology. Because people will have more time on their hands, humans will have the opportunity to learn about their physical universe and of their own societies. For example, a guitarist needs more time to tune a guitar by ear than using a electronic tuner. The guitarist can use that extra time to become better at his instrument. As the use of technology is embraced, humans can transcend their usual thinking.

Relying on technology will also bring in new problems that people will need to solve. The use of technology will solve many problems but also bring in new problems with it. There is the issue of technological privacy where people need to be wise and cautious about what information to put out with technology and how technology can be used against them. For example, the internet has brought the issue of privacy and people need to think about how to prevent identity fraud or other scams when browsing the internet. The rise of technology will push people to think of solutions of how technology should be properly regulated for the safety of its users and the people that could be affected. For example is when the hoverboard became popular with the youth in the United States. Citizens worked together to make sure this new transportation technology was properly regulated to prevent injuries or disruptions.

As people rely more on technology, people will need to be retooled to be able to use technology efficiently in their lives. People will begin to attend school more to be able to use these new technological advances and think more about how technology can be used and improved. Education will also allow them to think about how to solve problems that technology might have attached with it.

It is true that relying on technology does make people think less for themselves. At a push of a button, some problems can be solved without any mental input from a person. A person can now use a calculator to solve a math problem instead of doing the manual calculations that need brain power to solve. But people think less for themselves in some instances. Technology has brought into the forefront issues that people never had the chance to explore nor had to confront the problems that come along with it. Technology has brought upon global warming and people need to think what they can do to reverse global warming. Technology has allowed us to explore space and now people can imagine travelling in space and even joining in research to solve how humans can go deeper into the unknown frontier.

Technology does not deteriorate our ability to think for ourselves. People have to confront new problems that result from our use of technology. Thanks to technology people can learn about new fields of study or even explore uncharted fields. The embrace of technology will also require many people to receive an education to be able to use technology.