Burn my first GRE Argument essay at the stake!!

[Sargeant13]

Hi,

Just finished my first Argument essay for the GRE.

Please evaluate. I will evaluate any essays you may have.

What score would you give me?

 

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Outline

 

1. The brim river water level could have been lower in prehistoric times

2. There could have been Palean Boats but did not survive the times

3. Lithos was founded by Palea and carried pattern techniques

 

Archaeologists have discovered “Palean” baskets in Lithos and concluded that the Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean since no Palean boats have been found that were able to cross the Brim River. The conclusion does not make a strong case for determining the “Palean” baskets to not be uniquely Palean since there are other factors that could have allowed the unique Palean baskets to spread.

 

The author describes the Brim River as being very deep and broad which meant that the only way to cross the river was by boat. However, it does not confirm whether the river was more shallow or had a lower water leve in prehistoric timesl than its current state. If the river was more shallow and not as broad, perhaps the Palean people could have crossed the river by bridge or even swimming, thus spreading the Palean basket weaving techniques to Lithos. Once the point that the river has always been deep and broad is confirmed, then we can remove the idea that there were other methods for crossing the river.

 

The author states that no Palean crossed the river since no boats have been found. However, because Palea is a prehistoric site, Palea could have had multiple boats but the boats did not survive the test of time. Just because there is no evidence to prove that Palea had boats does not mean that there were no boats in Palea. Again, if archaeologists are able to prove that boats were definitely not present in Palea, then the idea that the Palean basket weaving techniques crossed the river by boat can be dismissed.

 

The author states that because Palean baskets were found in Lithos, then the Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. One consideration that might the author’s statement false is that Lithos perhaps was founded by Palea. If the Brim River was more shallow and not as broad in prehistoric times or if Palea did indeed have boats, then the possibility that Palea founded Lithos is warranted. Since Lithos’ origin derives from Palea, then any baskets found in Lithos is influenced or is a direct product of Palean arts. Since Lithos was founded by Palea, any baskets found in Lithos is Palean. Again, if the archaeologists are able to prove that the water levels for the Brim River did not change from prehistoric times and confirm no boats existed in Palean times, then the theory that Palea founded Lithos is not valid.

 

The finding of the Palean basket in Lithos and the current archaeological and geographical status of Palea and Lithos make it seem that Palean baskets are not truly Palean. However, because of further factors that need to be considered such as the water level of the river during prehistoric times, the existence of boats in Palea, and the mobility of the Palean people, the author’s argument that the Palean baskets are not uniquely Palean is not complete nor strong.

Edited October 28, 2016 by Sargeant13

[Christi4n]

Hi,

i would like to help you out, will you be willing to help me as well? We could do it on a weekly basis, what you say?