SoP (initial document)

[ts10vsg]

Hi Guys,

As my previous attempt to start SoP with intro went underground see , I have attempted without it and believe me that helped me atleast complete my initial drafting of SoP.

I am sharing my draft with you all, please review and let me know your comments on it SoP

Regards,

Ved_TheOne

[fuzzylogician]

I think you're completely off. The "ever since I was a child" approach doesn't tell the adcom anything relevant about who you are as an applicant or what you want to study. The highschool stuff has to go too. Skimming through your SOP, you have 5 very long-winded paragraphs about your past, one about your present work, and only one about your goals+fit+research interests (in fact, I couldn't find any specific interests or questions you want to study in grad school). That's not a good distribution at all; you want the bulk of the SOP to address your current/future interests and goals. You also need to expand on fit.

Read the advice here, especially the 6th bullet point:

http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-do-we-want-students-to-say-in.html

[ts10vsg]

I think you're completely off. The "ever since I was a child" approach doesn't tell the adcom anything relevant about who you are as an applicant or what you want to study. The highschool stuff has to go too. Skimming through your SOP, you have 5 very long-winded paragraphs about your past, one about your present work, and only one about your goals+fit+research interests (in fact, I couldn't find any specific interests or questions you want to study in grad school). That's not a good distribution at all; you want the bulk of the SOP to address your current/future interests and goals. You also need to expand on fit.

Read the advice here, especially the 6th bullet point:

http://rateyourstude...-to-say-in.html

Thank you for your quick & valuable input... I think I have to restart from scratch

[ts10vsg]

I think you're completely off. The "ever since I was a child" approach doesn't tell the adcom anything relevant about who you are as an applicant or what you want to study. The highschool stuff has to go too. Skimming through your SOP, you have 5 very long-winded paragraphs about your past, one about your present work, and only one about your goals+fit+research interests (in fact, I couldn't find any specific interests or questions you want to study in grad school). That's not a good distribution at all; you want the bulk of the SOP to address your current/future interests and goals. You also need to expand on fit.

Read the advice here, especially the 6th bullet point:

http://rateyourstude...-to-say-in.html

I started to write from scratch... here it is.... still need more sitting to complete it

As an undergraduate student of Civil Engineering I was first introduced to Transportation Engineering in the third year of studies. This stream caught my attention not only because of its massive scope, but also because of its contribution towards development (evolution) of civilizations (from very old times) by meeting travel requirement of people and transport requirement of goods. Such movement has changed the way people live and travel. Advances in transportation has made possible changes in the way of living and the way in which societies are organized and therefore have a great influence in the development of civilizations.

Later, with field visits to construction projects of huge magnitude like the Golden Quadrilateral, National Highways Development Projects (NHDP) I was convinced that it has potential for research, for developing cost effective products and processes.

My undying optimism was rewarded when I was selected as Assistant Engineer in __________, experienced in the field of highways design and practises; company gave me opportunity to gain practical experience in elements of design – vertical & horizontal alignments, flow through transportation networks & Spatial, Temporal and Behavioural Characteristics of Transportation Demand.

------------------------- How do I go, linking my attending of seminar on Geospatial technology, 8 weeks pilot project and my current job activities ------------------------------------

Comments are welcomed, please do reply

Edited January 17, 2010 by Ved_TheOne

[ts10vsg]

Hi,

Well I have modified my Statement of Purpose and can be viewed @ SoP,

I would be very happy if someone comments on the same

Thank you

Edited January 18, 2010 by Ved_TheOne

[ts10vsg]

Hi,

Well I have modified my Statement of Purpose and can be viewed @ SoP,

I would be very happy if someone comments on the same

Thank you

Comments, anyone??

[modernity]

Comments, anyone??

I didn't read your first draft, but I feel like this one reads more like an abstract for a job application than an application for grad school - however, that might be the standard for your field. You also have a lot of items in parentheses, and italics - I'm not sure what your reasoning is for this, but it seems a bit distracting. You also have some awkward sentences, and some items that are generally considered incorrect - such as starting a sentence with "And"... I think you need to keep polishing and editing. Try to make things flow better. Include more about what you want to do in the future and what your interests are as they relate to grad school rather than giving so much detail about your current position.