nngrad2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Is there anyone out there that can coach me on what to write in my personal statement? I have a good undergrad GPA, great work experience, exciting job, and logical career interests. I need help putting together a "story" that will make me jump out and seem unique and interesting. A lot of people write their sob stories, or about goals for saving the world. I do not have a sob story or a master plan to end world hunger. I am a successful person who needs help STANDING OUT. Is there anyone out there you can recommend or any company that can help me? I already know about Kaplan, etc...I need someone less expensive but totally top notch and cut throat. I will pay you well if I trust you to help me. tem11, glasses, johndiligent and 2 others 5
digits2006 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Have you tried talking to professors who have successfully earned their PhD? kahlan_amnell 1
rogue Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I need someone less expensive but totally top notch and cut throat. I will pay you well if I trust you to help me. As an economist--or someone who aims to be, anyway--you should know that you get what you pay for. Inexpensive and "totally top notch" don't exactly go hand in hand. That said, the idea of anyone paying someone to write their SOP makes me cringe. If you can't write, how are you going to succeed in grad school? I'd be leery of using a service, anyway. I'd imagine most of what they crank out is formulaic and boring (and quite possibly recognizable to admissions committees, too). kahlan_amnell, johndiligent, a fragrant plant and 2 others 5
Lauren the Librarian Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Is there anyone out there that can coach me on what to write in my personal statement? I have a good undergrad GPA, great work experience, exciting job, and logical career interests. I need help putting together a "story" that will make me jump out and seem unique and interesting. A lot of people write their sob stories, or about goals for saving the world. I do not have a sob story or a master plan to end world hunger. I am a successful person who needs help STANDING OUT. Is there anyone out there you can recommend or any company that can help me? I already know about Kaplan, etc...I need someone less expensive but totally top notch and cut throat. I will pay you well if I trust you to help me. After a failed round of grad school applications (terrible SOP among other issues) I looked on the internet for ideas. There are so many websites out there with helpful advice and plenty of example essays. There are also lots of books out there. I went to Barnes and Noble and read through a number of essay books on the shelves. Your library might have books you can even take home (but many are reference only). Even with all that, it was difficult for me to formulate who I was and how to communicate that in an essay. I found reading the departmental websites really helped, especially the course listings and I pretended I was a current student and evaluated which classes I would like to take, also which professors were interesting. I kept slogging along and put in hours and hours of work, revising and often spewing out completely idiotic rubbish that would be deleted. I let a friend of mine read it, and got one good idea. I had another friend read it and I got another good idea. I took my SoP to the writing center at my school and had it looked critiqued by the writing tutor. I also took mine to the Career Counsling office, because helping you with grad school is one of their services. On my 3rd round of grad school application, I finally got an SoP that was decent, not a home run, but good enough. Every one around me was sick and tired of me talking and writing and working on my SoP. I kept going because the program I'm applying to means something to me. I want to go to grad school and I'll do what it takes to get me there. I spoke with my grad advisor the other day and I was soooooo embarrassed to listen to him read my SoP that I wrote only 4 months ago (for round 2). I've grown a lot since then and the process of figuring out how to write my SoP was the primary factor in that growth. I think the negative reaction to your request is that you don't sound like a self-starter, someone that would be able to succeed in grad school. This forum is all about sharing tips and helping each other out with the process, but you MUST do your part and research programs, contemplate your goals in life, and work on your own deficiencies. I'm sure there's a pay service out there, but it probably won't do you any good in the long run. You'll still be stuck with all the other curve balls that will come your way in grad school and beyond. My best advice for you, in addition to "just doing it" is to see a therapist. Talk about your feelings, talk about your inadequecies, talk about your dreams. You'll probably get more bang for your buck ($60-90/hour instead of $150/hour in pay services). There might even be a free service on your campus. And if you don't think that you need therapy (cause you have a great job and all that) then you should realize that to the outside world, you look like a whiner and a spoiled kid. That in itself will probably keep you out of grad school. Good luck, and don't be afraid to work at your SoP until you start pulling your hair out. rogue 1
glasses Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Is there anyone out there that can coach me on what to write in my personal statement? I have a good undergrad GPA, great work experience, exciting job, and logical career interests. I need help putting together a "story" that will make me jump out and seem unique and interesting. A lot of people write their sob stories, or about goals for saving the world. I do not have a sob story or a master plan to end world hunger. I am a successful person who needs help STANDING OUT. Is there anyone out there you can recommend or any company that can help me? I already know about Kaplan, etc...I need someone less expensive but totally top notch and cut throat. I will pay you well if I trust you to help me. As others have said, I recommend starting early, writing a gazillion drafts, reading example documents, and asking professors, friends, and successful applicants for advice along the way. These suggestions are nowhere near as fancy as a "consultant" (here I join others in cringing). But hey, they're all free, and more genuine, and less likely to sound like prefab essays or Mad Libs. And for what it's worth, writing the statement is bizarrely self-educational: I can honestly say that I became a better itty-bitty wannabe scholar during the process of going from draft one to draft thirty-two. (By the way, I do understand why you might want to pull out all the stops -- it's a sort of terrifying process -- but I don't think a consultant is one of those stops that will serve you well. I think that for all the temporary comfort it might bring you to have your document in the hands of a "professional," the overall effect will suffer -- or, at the very least, you simply won't get as much mileage out of it as you would if you slogged through it start to finish.)
newday123 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Previous posters gave very good advice. I have two things to add: 1. Focus on writing an intellectual biography, not a personal biography. So none of those "I want to save the world," "My interest in economics stems from significant childhood experiences" crap - too cliche. Discuss your research interests and how you came to have them. 2. Address the question of "Why graduate school? Why now?" Why would you want to leave an awesome corporate job to become a poor graduate student? See tip #1.
jacib Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Is there anyone out there that can coach me on what to write in my personal statement? I have a good undergrad GPA, great work experience, exciting job, and logical career interests. I need help putting together a "story" that will make me jump out and seem unique and interesting. A lot of people write their sob stories, or about goals for saving the world. I do not have a sob story or a master plan to end world hunger. I am a successful person who needs help STANDING OUT. Is there anyone out there you can recommend or any company that can help me? I already know about Kaplan, etc...I need someone less expensive but totally top notch and cut throat. I will pay you well if I trust you to help me. I don't think the OP sounds like someone who is looking for a handout or someone to do all the work, s/he just sounds like someone who doesn't know where to start. I did choose to start with an anecdote. For two different types of programs, I actually had two different ones. For Religion, I talked about the first time i encountered religious theory, which lead into a talk about how my non-religious upbringing, which led directly to what I'm doing now (and how it relates to what I want to study), which led directly to what I want to do in grad school which led directly directly to some of my ideas about that topic which led directly to why this program is a good fit for me. For Sociology, it was the same, except I started talking about my father (who is a sociologist) and how I wanted to avoid his work and that's why I didn't take any Sociology classes until my last year of university, which led into what I'm doing now, etc. No sob stories. Talk about something you've seen that's an egregious waste of resources and how economics could fix that. How your economics training affects what you see. Even an I knew I was supposed to be an economist when... moment. My fake little sister is in econ and is applying to a competitive internship right now and is writing about how she hates most non-profit work because they allocate resources so poorly in her experience. She has no plan to solve world hunger. Just any ah-hah moment you had when it's like "Oh yeah my training totally makes me think differently from the rest of these idiots... but like you people on the adcomm!" You know, like getting into an argument about how voting is a waste of resources or something.
jacib Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I'm sure there's a pay service out there, but it probably won't do you any good in the long run. You'll still be stuck with all the other curve balls that will come your way in grad school and beyond. My best advice for you, in addition to "just doing it" is to see a therapist. Talk about your feelings, talk about your inadequecies, talk about your dreams. You'll probably get more bang for your buck ($60-90/hour instead of $150/hour in pay services). There might even be a free service on your campus. And if you don't think that you need therapy (cause you have a great job and all that) then you should realize that to the outside world, you look like a whiner and a spoiled kid. That in itself will probably keep you out of grad school. Good luck, and don't be afraid to work at your SoP until you start pulling your hair out. I work for one of those pay services. I do test prep, but my other people at my work definitely help students craft their essays (and yes, I do mean help rather than do it for them). Granted this is in a foreign country where people don't know the system. Universities in this country don't want essays--everything is numbers based. I do think we help the students a lot. We find matches and helping them research schools (what foreign kid knows that Lehigh is good at business?). Telling them what is appropriate to write in their statements, if they're aiming too high/low, how to get their art portfolios done, navigating all the testing, finding all the info on the websites, etc. I think we make a big positive difference for most of these kids. But they do also drop ridiculously fat wads of money. Most importantly, my students are not whiners, they are not spoiled kids, they are self starters, etc. even though they pay for academic counseling. Well, they are all spoiled rotten by their parents, but they don't act like it. Err most of them don't. I make no claims about the OP, but I feel obliged to defend my kids. Even though half of them have drivers, they're almost all really really sweet and down to earth. Like honestly, dealing with these kids is the best part of my day. I don't mind working 7 days a week. They're really appreciative and for the most part are very willful that they are reflected in their work. (I remember one of my students saying, "Will you take a look at something for me? [Your boss] wants to end it with this volcano metaphor, but isn't that really cheesy?" I ended up helping her just because I liked her as a kid and she was really appreciative, not for the freeness but for the help... her parents totally would have paid whatever I asked). I just want to say that going to a consultant does not automatically make you lazy or a jackass or ready to copy your way to the top. bgav 1
Lauren the Librarian Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) I don't mean that students who use those services are lazy. Heck, I looked into a pay service myself because I tried everything else and hoped for another good professional opinion. I researched threads on this forum about consultants and the concensus was that pay services tend to offer general advice that is not worth the money (you'd have to spend $1000 to get any sort miraculous overhaul to your paper). What I picked up from his post was, and I could be way off base, despite describing himself as successful and exciting--wanting a cut throat coach--he presented himself as a fraud, though not intentionally. I think the OP is aware of his strengths intellectually, but I would argue his choice of words when describing what he's looking for as "will make [him]... seem unique and interesting," belies his confidence. He doesn't see himself as worth noticing (standing out of the crowd). He doesn't value his own life story and is asking for an imaginary life story (put in quotation marks, no less). I didn't analyze his post to this degree when I first read it; that came after reading jacib's posts. What I saw in his words the first time around was me in SoPs past: capable, interesting, and passionless. I tried to steer him away from the services because it undermines the exploratory process of the SoP. The more weight you put on outside sources, especially ones with a high cost/benefit ratio, the less you get from the experience. He must be doing something right to be so successful, but his lack of confidence was a red flag that the pay services would not be helpful for him specifically. The flip side to this is that a professional opinion is usually good stuff and I should stop looking so deeply into it. Yeah, okay. Got it. I sincerely wish the OP an a-ha moment and sense of pride when he finds that spark of passion and writes an SoP he can be proud of. ps. The "I'll pay you well if I trust you" part still sounds spoiled to me. Edited January 18, 2010 by Lauren the Librarian
nngrad2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Here is the deal. I have gained a lot of great soft skills, and broad general knowledge of financial services and trading in my 4 years of post undergrad work. In order for me to take myself to the next level and gain more credibility at work I need more technical knowledge - hence grad school. I dont want to go to business school. I want to focus on economics which is a specific study, however, it is a broad enough field that I can switch to the public or non-profit sector. It is my goal and utmost desire to actually study and learn economics. I have told this to my friends who are graduates from Wharton, Columbia, NYU etc and they all tell my that this is bland, and boring. No one wants to read this. Many of my senior friends and colleagues actually enlisted the help of paid editors, consultants, etc and went on to great schools and succeeded in their studies and careers. I actually don't need therapy, I am not spoiled, or a whiner. I DO need someone to help me articulate what makes me unique in such a way that the admissions committee would find me interesting, unique, or special. I find myself interesting, unique, and special, however, I would like an objective professional to give me ideas, support, and feedback on how to effectively present my story to an admissions committee. Rather then cringing at me, take a look around people - MANY MORE PPLE THEN YOU KNOW USE THESE SERVICES!!! Go to any ivy league b-school and you'll find them. Not every banker, trader or consultant is THAT interesting or has a poignant story to tell. They just know how to tell a story better then I do. I'm just putting it out there and looking for suggestions. glasses, expressionista and kahlan_amnell 3
fuzzylogician Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) I don't take offense to your question the way some people do; my advice is very practical. Start writing your SOP yourself. You should at least have a draft ready before you can go out and seek professional help. Several people have already said this in this thread, and you'll find many others who have had the same experience if you read through old posts on the GradCafe: writing the SOP is one of the most important ways you grow intellectually. It's how you refine your interests and find out what truly motivates you. Only by investing the time and effort in doing this can you truly know your needs and desires. After you know exactly what you want, then you can turn to a consultant who can help you present it in the best possible way. I don't think it's objectionable, or that you should be a great writer right off the bat; it's one of the things grad school trains you for, and some people can be incredible researchers but never develop strong writing skills. However, you should be very aware that consultants and editors may be very good at their job, but you know yourself the best. If you can present your passion, attributes and interests to an editor, even in a half-baked way, they can help you formulate them convincingly. But you have to know yourself what you want your essay to say. Consultants can't know it for you. You have to do the work yourself. All this said, at the point when you have worked on the SOP for weeks on end, I'd strongly suggest having professors, friends and successful applicants read your essay and critique it, before using a payed service. You can get great free advice on websites like this one and from your friends and professors, which might just be all you need to writing a compelling essay. Edited January 18, 2010 by fuzzylogician expressionista 1
Lauren the Librarian Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It is my goal and utmost desire to actually study and learn economics. Now that is a beautiful statement. Very grad schoolish -- I can feel the latent passion -- and not boring at all. So, what you need to do now is do some research and narrow your interest to a few sub fields. Find professors and classes that seem even the least bit interesting. Maybe drop in to a colloquim or two. Mull over your potential research prospects and read publications (abstracts will probably suffice at this point). The fact that you actually want to understand economic theory is one of your greatest assets. Don't devalue your passion and interests. As for those guys from Ivy b-schools, they sound like boring turds who will probably cheat on their wives because they never found their true passion and stuck to boring, template-driven careers. Cheers!
nngrad2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 I DO have a draft ready. Would anyone have time to look it over? It needs more tying together to make it flow but thats where I could use a 2nd pair of eyes to tell me where I need more work.
jacib Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 (edited) I DO have a draft ready. Would anyone have time to look it over? It needs more tying together to make it flow but thats where I could use a 2nd pair of eyes to tell me where I need more work. Post it here. I have seen a lot of really good useful advice from people there. Or if you want just post the first paragraph because that seems to be what you're most concerned about. A lot of people do that if they don't feel comfortable posting everything. Edited January 19, 2010 by jacib
fuzzylogician Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Post it here. I have seen a lot of really good useful advice from people there. Or if you want just post the first paragraph because that seems to be what you're most concerned about. A lot of people do that if they don't feel comfortable posting everything. Or: put your SOP on a website or save it as a public google document, and post a link to it in the forum. Ask people not to quote whole paragraphs; you can later remove the document if you're uncomfortable with it being online.
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