Please grade my argument essay

[Meghan_Kean]

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

There is a lack of evidence to support Monarch Books opening a cafe in its store. This argument makes a lot of broad statements and conclusion with very little or not proof. There should be more comparisons to other bookstores, besides one. 

 

If Regal Books just recently opened up its own cafe then there is not enough evidence as to if it increased or decreased their sales. The statement does not have any evidence or remarks from Regal Books customers as to whether they like or dislike the new cafe. There needs to be more concrete evidence from multiple bookstores with cafes in them being successful and helping increase business, in order for them to consider opening up a cafe. Their competition trying something new is not a concrete reason to do follow Regal Books footsteps. 

 

The evidence from the national census for children under the age of ten may or may represent the area surrounding Monarch Books. Since it is a national census it is the average of many different areas, some may be higher or lower than others. We do not know for sure how the area of Monarch Books compares to the national census. If the children in the area of the Monarch Books did not decrease then it could be detrimental to close down the children’s book section. Lastly, in the statement it says “probably become less popular” this is a vast assumption with no evidence to support it. We cannot assume causation here because there may be correlation. The key word it may since there is no proof of stores around the countries doing poorly in their children’s section from the decrease in population of children under age ten. 

 

Children’s book sections are an attraction to many families. Parents will bring their children in and allow them to pick one and may end up buying a book themselves. If there customer base is because of their wide selection of books it could be detrimental to close down the children’s section. Through closing the children’s section the Monarch’s book is narrowing their diverse book section, which could possibly deter loyal customers. 

 

Many of these customers may not enjoy the cafe because it would be loud and rambunctious. The customers may like it to be silent while they are roaming the isles and finding books they enjoy. There is no evidence as to whether the customers like the silence or would prefer the white noise of a cafe. A survey to its large customer base needs to be done in order to determine this. 

 

If Monarch Books were to build the cafe then they could be criticized as copying Regal Books. Businesses that do well can often attribute their success to distinctions in their companies. If Monarch Books opens a cafe they could lose their sense of distinction from Regal Books, which would deter its customers. The company should focus on ways to improve itself in ways that are different from Regal Books to allow it to stand out more.