GRE Practice Exam: Argument Essay Response

[sdfiguer]

Hello, the following is my argument task response from practice GRE exam that I recently took. I got a 157 on math and a 161 on verbal (I am very close to my goal score!). I just need some assistance with gauging where I'm at with the essay responses. If somebody could help grade/critique my argument response I would be very grateful. I will also try and return the favor my critiquing one of you essay responses. The following bold statement is the essay prompt and the paragraphs that follow are my essay response. Thanks!

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet. 

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

 

   The newly engineered millet high in vitamin A is like a novel response to the nutritional deficiencies present in the Tagus population. If merely introducing this crop to the Tagus market works, then a key health issue will be solved in this area. However, there are several holes argument that argues for the development organization's success. Without discussing these flaws in the argument, it is difficult to accurately assess whether or not the newly developed agricultural product will prove beneficial to the populace of Tagus.

     First and foremost, the newly developed millet seed is stated to be more expensive than the classic millet which is low in vitamin A. Farmers are provided subsidies for the new millet seeds, however it is unknown whether or not the subsidies will be sufficient for producing enough of the nutritionally-dense millet for all of Tagus. Also, the higher cost of growing millet may cause millet prices to skyrocket in the market. This raises the question: will the already impoverished citizens of Tagus be able to even afford the newly developed millet? Higher costs may cause them to have to buy even less millet than they were buying before. Even if they were able to consume some of the nutritionally-dense millet it may not be enough to satisfy their nutritional needs and even their caloric needs, because they now must succumb to eating less millet.

     The argument also fails to outline whether the newly developed millet can grow in the Tagus region. There may be slight genetic modifications, tied to the higher vitamin A gene, that prevent the plant from growing in the Tagus climate, or even prevent the plant from growing the complete maturity. The newly produced plant can also have other biological issues, such as producing sterile seeds, producing much less crop suitable for consumption, or attracting different pests. Of all these aforementioned issues, sterile seeds would be the most detrimental because Tagus farmers would be unable to conserve seeds for the next millet growing season.

     Collectively, the argument contains an insufficient amount of evidence for it to exist as a valid recommendation for Tagus. Several questions must be answered in order for the argument to hold a convincing case for introducing the new millet crop to farmers in Tagus. If farmer subsidies are sufficient, if the population can afford the millet, and if the new crop's biology is suitable for production in Tagus, then the novel production of vitamin A-rich millet may solve Tagus's nutritional deficiency issue.