PhD RANT

[astruggler]

Hi

Just need to rant and get some feedback. 

My issue is on a relatively small scale but has potential to become bigger

So there was a research conference I found out about last minute, I thought it would be a good opportunity to attend and present some work and talked it over with my supervisor.  He didn't say no but that I should consider what to present as it could clash with another conference we might go to later in the year.  I said that is fine, I will be able to generate more data to present for that conference for a poster presentation.  In the end I did the abstract and emailed my supervisor to check before the deadline the following day.  He didn't get back to me in time and the deadline was 1 hour away so I decided to submit it.  I have previously attended conferences and knew how to do an abstract.  The supervisor was informed.  The abstract was accepted in due course.  The supervisor was made aware.  Then I had found out I didn't get the funding to attend and so subsequently asked to withdraw my abstract as I was unable to attend.  The abstract had by this time been published and put into the programme/booklet, bearing in mind I had not registered to attend the conference yet either as the funding was supposed to cover registration fee.  I admittedly did not inform my supervisor about my withdrawal as I had other issues that took priority and had forgotten about informing him entirely.  So come to the conference day, my supervisor asks me if I am going to the conference and I inform him no due to lack of funding and I asked them to withdraw my abstract.  In consequence my supervisor was not happy about this.  From that moment one, he was passive aggressive towards me.  I had my annual review and my supervisor had written up my report and included this issue in the report which was sent to the panel.  The jist of the report had said that: I was unprofessional, I didn't provide the opportunity to check the abstract, he had made it clear that it was not acceptable to submit something without prior approval from supervisor and that I should have informed them once I withdrew (which I agree to) and that I need to be aware that this will effect the supervisors professional reputation.

My issue is that I made the supervisor aware of abstract submission and acceptance and provided opportunity for checking.  An abstract is not a detailed piece of work that requires a large amount of time to check.  It was not made clear to me that I shouldn't have done the abstract and submitted it otherwise why would I go against my supervisor and cause issues.  I also find it vindictive for the issue to be put on my annual review report and highlight the fact that I was unprofessional paint a picture of me doing something willy nilly.  The entire blame was placed on me.  I personally thought it would be good to take initiative and was interested in attending a conference.  Furthermore, the supervisor and I had already discussed this previously and he made it clear that it was not a good look to have no poster and no representation at the conference. I admitted to my mistake and apologised a few times.  I also think had it been an issue of submitting an abstract why then was I not told to withdraw as soon as I had submitted.  

In the end I have a unhappy passive aggressive supervisor and I am not sure how long he tends to be like that.  I refused to defend myself properly against my annual review panel when the issue was brought and said that me and the supervisor had discussed this already and I have apologised for my mistakes.  This is mainly because I am nearing the end of my PhD and I rather not cause any more drama.   However I can't help but feel that this was not entirely my fault and the reaction is a little too harsh. 

 

Sorry for the rant.

Thanks