I need Evaluation for my "English Composition Skills"

[Abdu]

The writing task is about the following:
"As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate."
"Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position."

My Response:
"Since the second half of the 20th century, the technological inventions become more and more vital in people's life. Technology help people overcome the climate changes, solve complicated problems and even innovate more new technologies. Actually technology helps people advance their lives, rather than deteriorates their thinking abilities.

Technology helps us in a maltitude of ordinary tasks, so we get much more free time to do more complicated and advanced things. In this way, the world will continue developing.

Techonology advantageous and desadvantegeous highly depend on how someone uses it. Someone might harm his thinking ability using calculators needlessly; another can avdvance his knowledge and descover new mathematical information using the same method, calculators.

People's life would be so hard without those technological inventions. There is no doubt that older generations had some skills today's generations don't have, and the reason is there become more machines do many things instead of us. However, today's generations have also developed new skills older generations couldn't develop, simply because they didn't have time for it.

To sum up, Technology's advantegeous on human's thinking abilities are much more than its desadvantegeous. The degree of the usefulness of techonology depend on
how we use it. As a result, people should use technolgy in a good manner, so that they get its benefits and put a side its harms."

Some Criteria for Evaluation:
"Clear & insightful position; position development with compelling reasons; Focused & Organized; Vocabulary fluency & sentence variety; Might have minor language error"

Any advice for improving my writing skills will be highly appreciated... you can give me a score from 1 to 6... you can leave any comment