The 2008 Graduate Student Draft

[Minnesotan]

I shared this idea with one of my committee members who decided it, like most of the things that come out of my mouth, was hilarious, yet ultimately misguided:

My idea was to begin a grad student draft, much like the draft systems many professional sports use to fairly distribute young talent. The purpose is that it would save a whole lot of time and heartache if each potential PhD-candidate could send all of his or her credentials, supplementary materials, and a generic application form to a central pool. Each major university would then get to take turns selecting the candidates they felt best suited their needs, thus eliminating months of preparation and waiting, as well as mitigating the cost of most postage, transcript fees, test results, and the like. Also, there would only be one bureaucracy to misplace your materials and claim the post office never delivered them.

Again, like sports leagues, they could hold a supplementary draft at mid-season for people entering graduate school after autumn semester. Those who do not wish to participate in the draft can, of course, become free agents after a certain amount of coursework has been completed as non-degree students. And those who are ABD can do the same, once they have fulfilled their requirements at the university that laid claim to them.

Okay, so maybe my advisor was right about the extent to which I've taken the analogy. However, I am going to stick to my guns on the idea of a central credential pool. Not only would this be easier on the students, but it would also afford better security if an independent company contacted each undergrad institution for transcripts, made all referees prove their identity and assure the authenticity of their letters of reference.

[UndraftedFreeAgent]

Hahaha. I can just imagine the GRE turning into the academic version of the "combine", where students will showcase their verbal, quantitative, analytical, and 40 meter run skills. The draft could be televised on the Discovery Channel. What's more, given the wide demographic appeal of grad school, it could be shown in as many countries as the Olympics.

"Welcome to day two of the graduate combine, as we enter the opening round of the computer use competition. Stepping up to the PC is John Doe from the University of Somewhere, placing his coffee mug deftly to the side of the monitor away from the mouse. He powers on the computer and comes to the log in screen. What's this?? He has mistyped his password! Surely this will cost him a half-point deduction. He corrects his error and the OS loads. Doe opens GAUSS and starts programming. This is truly a bold move, as few in the field are still using this now archaic program. Perhaps he is trying to impress the judges with his ability to navigate an obtuse user interface, but this is a real gamble, as working in GAUSS is much slower than in other programs. Doe is a former silver medalist from the Turino Nerdlympics and is clearly falling back to his comfort zone. Crunch time approaches now and the official checks his watch. OH, and look at this! Doe has stood up and walked confidently away from the desk. What is he doing?? He is... yes, he is cooking a bowl of Ramen! John Cup-o-noodles Doe has just pulled off a truly professional move. TWEEEEEEEEEEET!! That's it! Time is called. It's now in the hands of the judges. We'd like to take this moment to thank our sponsor: Mudder's Milk. Mudder's Milk: all the protein, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus 15% alcohol. And the judges are ready. All scores out of 6.0. Here we go: 5.5, 5.5, 5.0, 5.5, 4.5, and from the French judge 2.0, for a combined score of 28. Not good. 28 out of 36 will not even put him on the podium. Such a disappointment. The French judge was clearly displeased with Doe's arrogance in cooking Ramen during a computer event. After this, Doe may have played himself out of the first round of the draft. We'll have to see how the rest of the day carries out. From ESPN studios, this is Nerdcenter.

[Minnesotan]

Sadly, I would probably watch Nerdcenter more often than I watch Sportscenter.

It's a good thing "nerd chic" is in this year, or I would never get laid.

[nomad]

Sadly, I would probably watch Nerdcenter more often than I watch Sportscenter.

It's a good thing "nerd chic" is in this year, or I would never get laid.

What it is?!?!? I seem to have missed out on that

[Minnesotan]

I dunno. "Nerd chic" means I can walk down the street in my "Look at me! I'm a grad student!" clothes, and chicks might actually dig it. I can talk about Cicero's orations and still get laid. I can admit I played Dungeons and Dragons in junior high school, and not send the ladies screaming off.

Then again, with all of the "I <3 Nerds" t-shirts the girls are wearing these days, it's pretty easy to pick your targets. They might as well be wearing bullseyes.

[UndraftedFreeAgent]

Barnes and Noble cafes (or really just any places with coffee and space to study) are pretty much singles clubs for nerds. I make my own white boards out of a sheet of copy paper and one of those heatless laminating sheets and bring those with me to work through equations with dry erase markers. You'd be surprised how many "tutoring sessions" get set up when ladies see you working through a multivariate based econ problem in public. It also helps if you can talk intelligently about wine and fair trade anything.

[Minnesotan]

Yeah. Fair trade conversation is gold. I draw the line at not showering, though; there's a point when nerdy liberal activism hits the south end of the hippy movement, and begins to get smelly and annoying. If I wanted a woman who didn't shave her pits, I'd move to the Baltics.

[schnappi]

If I wanted a woman who didn't shave her pits, I'd move to the Baltics.

Dude, seriously?

[firecolon]

This was an idea that I had a long time ago... Some other constraints would have to be added in order for it to work. For instance, the school's draft board can only include interested students (if Student A doesn't want to the University of Wisconsin, then Wisconsin can't draft him). Also, efforts to protect student's privacy are necessary (some students don't like everyone knowing their GPA or GRE, even if it is good). Schools with room to admit more students will have more picks and therefore it must be spread evenly.

Potential problems: Greedy top-tier programs such as MIT, Princeton, or CalTech probably don't want to be picking students in the same round as Northern New Mexico State College (or anyone else for that matter), but I'm positive that the University of Nebraska would have a problem if their first pick came after Harvard selects twenty-seven times. While I welcome the distribution of talent among schools, this would be difficult to enforce if top programs oppose this. Also, some disgruntled students can and will be undrafted so there is a risk of lawsuits. And how do we know that the process is fair? There will be people trying to cheat the system.

Despite the potential problems, I would welcome such a draft as long as it is implemented effectively. It would be a lot of fun. Perhaps we could split the difference and have schools place a share into a draft so that students can choose between the old method and a draft.

"Welcome to the 2008 Annual Graduate Selection Meeting... ...with the first pick in the first round of the Applied Mathematics draft, CalTech selects SIEKSUH."

[pcs]

A draft may be a bit over the top-- but it's not a bad idea to have a central system for applications. Applicants could specify which schools they'd prefer (or even a region of the country, a city, etc). Schools listed or meeting an applicant's other criteria would be open to draft. Trouble is-- where/ how would such a system be managed? Regardless, it's better than scrambling to fix issues after transcripts etc. suddenly go missing and screw up an application.

[snowcapk]

Applicants could specify which schools they'd prefer (or even a region of the country, a city, etc). Schools listed or meeting an applicant's other criteria would be open to draft. Trouble is-- where/ how would such a system be managed?

I have heard of small countries doing something similar at the level of entrance to undergrad. Apparently in France, you send in a portfolio and a ranking of schools you're willing to consider, and the Fed/the schools decide were you'll go for the equiv. of the first few years of undergrad (pr

[Minnesotan]

I love that you called France a small country.

Obviously someone (I) would need to set up a central bureaucracy to maintain the database, check references, contact undergrad institutions for transcripts, etc. Students would pay a nominal fee (*ahem*ETS*ahem*) for my services.

[BC08]

Maybe we could drive up the market for stipends and teaching allowances like the NFL Draft slotting system. I'd love to hold out for a few thousand extra from whoever eventually picks me.

[indigo_black]

Here in the UK, we have a centralised system for undergrad applications. We choose the 6 schools we want to apply to, complete one generic form, send it to the central system (UCAS) and they send it on to our chosen universities. The schools then accept or reject our applications, send their decisions to UCAS, and UCAS notify us. Approximately 9 million times easier than what I just did for grad school in the US.

[Minnesotan]

Yeah. The English undergrad system sounds great. Unfortunately your grad application system is even worse than the U.S.

Or maybe it was just Oxford -- that was my only English app. Trying to get information from their classics dept. is like pulling teeth from an angry rhino!

[pingouinus]

Being French, I can tell you a little about our "small country" undergrad system :

First the "classes pr