Can I get some comments on my SOP

[Jin Cheong]

I'm international applicants from Korea and planning to apply for BMS for an immunology study.

I just have completed my SOP and i would like to get some help from you.

I'd be glad to have any comments on my writting.

..

ps.

I'm looking for immunology programs that are more likely to accept me

As an international applicants I get less confident of my preparation.

I would like to know which graduate school suit to me.

  

GRE : 160/167/4.0

Toefl : 107

GPA : 3.38/4

GGPA : 4.0/4.3

publication : one 1st author paper being peer reviewed 

 

<<SOP>>

For quite some time, my keen observation skills and strong interest in causality have been my core strengths, and this is due in large part to my medical history. I have poorly understood autoimmune disease, atopic dermatitis, that causes severe chronic skin inflammation often accompanied by unbearable pruritus. To deal with the constantly changing symptoms properly, I have always kept an eye on slight alterations of my body condition. Furthermore, I eagerly look for environmental or behavioral factors that affect the symptoms, attempting to control them to maintain my skin condition. As a result, I have become adept at correlating multiple causal relationships within biological phenomena, and not surprisingly, I enjoyed my biology classes in school a great deal, because it was exciting to understand the beauty of stabilized complexity in our body. When I was studying in the U.S., one of my teachers highly appreciated my aptitude and encouraged me to continue studying the biological sciences, gifting me a cell biology textbook. Deeply inspired, I went to ----- University with a merit-based scholarship for two years and majored in molecular biotechnology.

During my first two years of undergraduate school, I came face-to-face with the vastness of the biological sciences and was overwhelmed by it. While I was strongly intrigued by subjects such as cell biology, immunology, and neurobiology, my interests were not specific enough to figure out my desired field of study for graduate school. Thus, I decided to participate in a research internship program at several laboratories to understand how biological research is conducted. I joined the research internship program at Seoul National University, working for a lab focused on a TRPC channel study. Under the direction of Prof. --- Kim, I helped define the roles of TRPC channels in crystalline lens cells during cataract development. It was a great opportunity for me to learn various basic cell biology techniques and unleashed my desire to study diverse diseases at the cellular level.

My second internship took place at the neuroscience laboratory at Korea Institute of Science and Technology. Curious about the relationship between stress and the immune system, I joined Prof. --- Im’s lab, studying the molecular pathology of depression and drug addictions from the aspect of miRNA using various mouse models. Besides analysis of miRNA expression in mouse brain tissue, I primarily participated in the establishment of a stress-induced depression mouse model, and a self-administered drug addiction mouse model. Since the latter model required intravenous injections, I had to perform surgery to insert the catheters into the jugular veins of the mice, and then I trained them to administer cocaine by themselves. While building these multiple mouse models, I became familiar with mouse handling techniques, and I gained mastery of several surgical skills.

After finishing college, I enrolled in graduate school at Seoul National University, where I was eager to pursue advanced studies in molecular cell biology. In Prof. -----, I investigated the role of C-termini of Transmembrane 4 L Six Family members. I chose it because the amino acid sequence diversity was the highest in C-termini among all domains, and this provided a strong indication that they each have distinct cellular roles. To begin with, I generated various mutant DNA constructs using TM4SF members by deleting C-terminal regions or exchanging them with each other. After establishing stable cell lines using mutant DNA constructs and colorectal cancer cell lines, I carefully observed their behavior in both flat culture dish and 3D collagen environments to identify any differences between them using live cell microscopy. As a result, I found that the C-terminus region of ----, a member of Transmembrane 4 L Six Family, plays pro-migratory roles in both the 2D and 3D co llagen environments by activating c-Src. This research has been submitted to a journal and is now being peer reviewed. 633단어

After completing my master’s degree, I joined a structural biology lab at Korea University, where I am working to identify the partial structure of ----- including its C-terminus. I am currently optimizing experimental conditions for the expression of ------  in the Cell Free system and planning to analyze the protein structure via NMR. I volunteered myself for this research because this peptide structure study has the potential to reveal the mechanisms for how the C-terminus of ----- interacts with c-Src. Moreover, I believe this experience will be beneficial in preparing me for more complex collaborative research in the future.

During graduate school, I had many opportunities to learn about how the human immune system can be leveraged to help treat cancer. One of our lab research topics was to define how lysine tRNA synthetase expression in colon cancer cells induces an immune cell recruiting response, and multiple seminars regarding cancer immunotherapy inspired my interest in immunology – the notion of treating various diseases by utilizing the human immune system was astonishing to me, especially in light of my personal health condition. I began paying more attention to treating autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis by modulating other immune responses.

 I believe the biomedical science program at __________ University is the best match for my research interest. Particularly, I am interested in the work of Dr.______ that__________. In addition, the state-of-the-art facilities, __________’s distinction in biomedical research, and collaboration strongly appeal to me as well. At your esteemed institution, I would build a strong foundation for my future research and have the unmatched opportunity to research alternative ways to help solve human problems and clinical needs.

 Upon completing your graduate program, I will pursue a post-doctoral position at a diverse research institution where autoimmune diseases are actively studied, such as the Johns Hopkins Autoimmune Disease Research Center or MD Anderson Cancer Center. I then hope to obtain a faculty position at a research university to continue my studies of autoimmunity. In addition, it is my long-term desire to teach future generations of students and train them to be excellent researchers.

Edited October 20, 2016 by Jin Cheong

[shur42]

Hi Jin! 

I think that's a great SOP. I feel that you could elaborate a little more on how you're a good match for the program and for this particular professor. Now it sounds kind of generic. Maybe how your knowledge in A, B, C, how your lab experience correlates with prof's goals and his/her recent research activity?