talkinghead

For what it's worth, I scored similarly to you when I applied to Social Psych PhDs -- 92* verbal, 87* Analytic, and a mediocre 72* Quant (which later dropped to a 69* as time went on more testers brought up the average). I was pretty disappointed with that low Quant, but still ended up getting in to 5 fully funded PhD programs and 2 fully funded masters. Assuming you have good research experience and a 3.5+ GPA, I believe you would be competitive. I would guess you could get in to the mid-tier programs (MSU, UConn), but I would aim for a few "backups," too, just in case.

And teethwax, it is brave and commendable of you to confront your painful past and to tell your story. Thank you for sharing. The unfortunate reality is that sexual assault does exist, and is much more prevalent than anyone would hope to admit. Situations such as yours are the reason why women can never be comfortable enough to set down their drink at a bar, or why I refuse to let my girlfriend walk home from work at night. I understand that. At the neural level, we are wired to overperceive threat, simply because it is not worth it to risk being wrong. This is a fact that has helped me to learn to accept and to cope with this whole situation.

Thanks all for the advice and support. It helps a lot to hear your opinions and to get an idea of what you think is the best way to handle this. So, as an update: I am still struggling, but not considering dropping out any more. I would feel defeated and like a quitter if I just gave up. The social reality in the department is that many more people now know. I can tell who knows; interpersonally it is not too hard to pick up on. So yes, the rumors got around, as you all predicted. And of course, this is a painful realization. It still hangs over my head everyday when I walk into the building, and I even have occasional nightmares about it. That said, there is plenty that has improved, namely my personal acceptance piece of this and the extremity of my reactions. I am no longer fighting for the ideal that my colleagues would all be able to keep my secret, but neither am I thinking that this will kill my chance at success or be the absolute end of my career. The most I can do is to remind myself that I am innocent. The wariness of colleagues is annoying and sometimes hurtful, but deep down I do not "feel" like a sexual offender, and with that, I can (for the most part) rest easily at night. Not that this really matters, RISINGSTAR, but you are interpretting this in a way that gives the girl more benefit of the doubt than she deserves. If you had seen her "evidence" you would have realized her claim had no basis in reality. It wasn't even close. Essentially her story was like "I went to a bar, and then I don't remember what happened." I was with her, she was not stumbling, blacked out, or showing any other signs of being too drunk to offer consent. Even her friends didn't believe her. She led me into her bedroom, holding my hand, while her friends were in the house with us. She never said "no" or "stop" and she never gave any non-verbal sign that she didn't want to have sex. I spent the night. The next day I woke up thinking nothing out of the ordinary happened. She had a boyfriend at the time. My theory is that she woke up, realized she did a shitty thing, and flipped the story around to make herself seem like a victim (and maybe she sincerely believed it, as a way to keep her ego from shattering). I really don't know her motive, but I know I was innocnent. So did the police. So did her friends. It was barely controversial. It wasn't even close to as bad as it now seems in the minds of my colleagues.

I remember it being obligatory to upload all academic transcripts to each application. That includes schools you attended for even just one semester. I believe Quantum has it right; it would probably hurt your chances to apply to the same field again, especially if you are aiming to study in a similar area. If you mention the switch is due to personal or social reasons, I would guess that adcoms would be wary. Why take up a risky bet when there is already a large pool of qualified candidates?

Zorah, the topic of sexual assault came up at a party (this is normal, as some of my colleagues research in this area). I reacted with a clear and heated bias that I was previously unaware of (for years I have blocked out the trauma of the event, plus, rape does not come up often at parties I usually go to). Taking introspective notice of my bias and then feeling ashamed that I (an open-minded liberal) would respond this way, I thought I owed it to the group to explain my behavior, and in the heat of the moment it came out. I was trying to salvage my reputation, not to sully it further.

Thank you for your input so far, but my aim wasn't to turn this into a politcal thread. Feminism and rape culture are somewhat relevant to consider here (especially since many in my department work with victims of sexual assault and lead fairly politically charged careers, making this whole thing even harder to handle), but for the most part, I am just hoping to get advice about what to do next as a professional. Is my career gonna be damaged? Is the anxiety I am experiencing warranted? As a first year PhD I do not understand the culture of academia enough to make accurate predictions. This is where your input would be most helfpul. Namely, at conferences do you hear about stories like this? Does something like this follow a person around forever? As far as dealing with it in my department, I have no way of knowing who already knows, so bringing it up publicly just yet seems way too risky. On one hand I am comfortable opening up to people about the story because I know I am 100% innocent, but at the same time, doubt will be cast on my story and the stigma will certainly follow.

Hi, all: I recently divulged some very serious personal information to my cohort and now I am worried about how it will affect my career. So, three years ago in college I was falsely accused of rape. I went through a crapload to support the case for my innocence (lie detector tests, thorough interviews with police, etc.), and in the end, the investigation concluded she had a weak story and no evidence, and thus it never went to prosecution. Justice prevailed. Good for me. But unfortunately, even though I was a clear victim in this situation, I emerged from it seeming like a questionable rapist. The stigma sucks. And now my cohort knows this part of my past. There are a couple annoying gossips in the department, so I have almost accepted that word will get around soon enough. And knowing the nature of rumors, it will probably turn into "he was accused of rape" rather than "he was a victim of a false accusation." This is greatly upsetting to consider. How will this affect my social life for the next five years. And further, do you think this would go beyond my department? Does stuff like this ever come up at a conference or at a bar? I know rumors about personal lives abound in academia, but would people have the decency to not say something this extreme? The anxiety and worry has gotten so extreme, to the point where I am considering to leave my program and change careers. I already had personal conversations with each of the people I told this too, but a couple of them I really don't trust and are the types to really revel in gossip. I fucked up bigtime, and now I want to, if not come out unscathed, at least minimize the damage. Your thoughts on how to deal with this are greatly appreciated. Thank you.